The Power of Negative and Positive Thoughts….Where Does Your Power Lie?*

I was recently skimming over the CNN news highlights and some of them read, “Bad hurricanes forecast, but few ready”, “Woman in iron lung dies after power failure”,
and “Do You Hate Your Commute Too?”

Now, as you read each of those statements, how do you feel? If you had to label each as a positive or negative news story, which would each be? As I read them, I realized that each of them was negative in nature. My initial responses to each of the statements were, “Yikes”, “Very sad”, and “Heck yah I hate it”. Many of you may be able to relate to those responses, and if you do, I want to point something out to you. Something that had occurred to me as I realized my own reaction to them. My thoughts about those stories left me feeling worried, sad, and frustrated. I then noticed how my thoughts continued to think of other negative thoughts about my own life and experiences. For example, I thought about a storm I had seen years ago that left me feeling as if I were in a re-make of The Wizard of Oz, the tornado scene. Then I thought about the day I had a very bad commute into work, as if I had been transported onto the streets of downtown New York. This went on for several minutes, until I realized how I was giving more power to my negative thoughts and disregarding any positive thoughts.

Negative thoughts can be useful and have a purpose in the sense that they indicate how you are feeling at any given moment. Once someone realizes that, “hey, I have been feeling frustrated or stressed”, then they can use that as a signal to
acknowledge what they are feeling and then ideally let it go…..*

…..*

Finally, a very effective question to ask yourself the next time you experience a negative thought is, “Is it the negative thought that is really upsetting me, or is it the power I am giving the negative thought that is upsetting me?” Once you figure out the answer, you will begin to free yourself from your negative thoughts, and then you can choose to focus on more positive thoughts.

Peace and Joy to all!

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Memorial Day….A Lesson in History Leads to Important Truth

Yesterday was Memorial Day in the United States and I had decided to take the time to look up the history of this honored day. I mean, I knew that it was a day we were to remember our service men and women who gave their lives while serving our country. But for some reason, this year I wanted to know more about this legal holiday that is recognized around our nation and is celebrated with parades and special events.

As I searched the seemingly unlimited Internet highway, I stumbled upon a little gem of a site that briefly explained the origin of Memorial Day. Originally this day was called “Decoration Day” since many women and men would decorate the graves of their loved ones who had died while serving our country.

Then I read how there were many stories that claimed to be the “actual beginnings” for the existence of Memorial Day, as well as those who had first recognized this day. What really touched me, however, was that this same site also mentioned one important truth that many people tend to forget. Not just in regards to Memorial Day, but also in regards to many circumstance or events that happen in and around the world today.

The truth that I read was this, “It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.” *

When I read this, I thought “WOW”! Not only was that a beautiful truth when celebrating Memorial Day, but it is a truth that can be applied to many other events or circumstances. Sometimes we tend to get lost in the “what’s”, “where’s”, “when’s”, and “why’s”. While being inquisitive can, at times, be beneficial, some people tend to loose focus on what is really important at a given moment.

Imagine for a moment another event or circumstance that this statement could apply to. One that I thought of was simply, “Life”. If this statement were in reference to “Life”, it would go like this: “It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Life was established. Life is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.”

I ask each of you to write this statement down and either post it up, carry it with you, or if you are feeling really wild, do both. The next time you find yourself in a situation where you are focusing on why something is the way it is, or who founded it first, think of this statement. Does all the past “when’s” and “why’s” really matter at this moment? Sometimes the answer may be yes. But sometimes, you may find that the past reasons do not matter as much as simply acknowledging and honoring a special event or circumstance as it is…..in that moment.

Hoping everyone had a nice Memorial Day weekend!!

* - quote was found on the site: www.usmemorialday.org/backgrnd.html (David Merchant)

Your life is a story….so what are you choosing to write?

Much of what we believe and experience about our lives comes from years of conditioning and how we perceive and believe most situations. As a result, we tend to create stories that we tell ourselves about situations and moments we either create or are faced with.

So, what stories are you experiencing and writing today?

For me, I have a couple stories I will share with you that I am experiencing today. They include: “I am enjoying my new vehicle I picked up last night at the dealership” and “I am feeling very happy today”.

I happen to ask a friend I know what they were experiencing today and they proceeded to say the following, “I feel very down and out today and I am not sure why”. I then asked her, “Is that how you want to feel today?” and she replied, “Well, no”. I then asked her why she thought she felt down and out, and she thought for a moment and then started to tell me the reason, or what I like to refer to as the “story”. She said “I think I feel very down because…………….”

While what follows the “because” portion of her comment is relatively important, in reality it is her opinion, or the story she is telling herself about the situation. When we add anything to statements such as “I am……” or “This happened because……” we are adding our own beliefs and thoughts to our stories, and get this, these stories may or may not be true ultimately.

Some people are pessimists, or they naturally think of the worse case scenario in most situations that they are faced with. Now, imagine how all their stories are ending. Worst yet, some people even begin to experience and live out the story they have created, which can lead to stress, frustration, suffering, and even anger and resentment. For example, my friend said, “I feel very down today because I woke up and didn’t feel like going into my boring job”. Every time that my friend tells herself that story, or thought, how do you think she feels? Possibly frustrated, stressed, and even a little hopeless?

Now, what if she re-wrote her story to be more positive or inspiring? What if she said to herself, “I feel very down today about my boring job, but I will take steps to find a more challenging job”, or “I feel very down today and want to feel happy so I will do something that makes me happy”? If these were the stories my friend was writing for herself, how do you think those would leave her feeling? Probably not frustrated or stressed. She actually might feel more empowered and inspired.

I would like for you to ask yourself today, what kind of stories have I been writing lately? What stories do I want to write?

Be aware that you have the choice to create and write your own stories and endings to each and every situation that you come across, or are faced with. It is true that we get faced with situations that just get dealt to us (e.g. tragedy or illness), however, how we react to each situation is our choice and in our control. This can be a very empowering and even freeing realization.

I challenge each of you today, and the rest of this week, to look at some of the situations you are being faced with and ask yourself, “How do I perceive this situation”? Also ask yourself, “What kind of story am I attaching to this situation”? Then see if you can create and write a more inspiring ending that could be just as true, if not truer then the original ending.

Happy writing everyone!

Do you take things personally? If so, how is that working out for you?*

There is a very common belief and perception out there in the world that drives and plagues many people’s daily lives. That perception is taking other people’s actions or comments personally. Some people take only certain types of comments personally and are able to fend off other types. However, some people take nearly every comment personally and that can cause suffering.

I believe that a person’s confidence level definitely effects how a person will process and react to other people’s actions or comments. Having a lower sense of self-confidence can mean someone will take more comments personally. For example, when I was younger I suffered a low sense of self-confidence and took nearly every comment personally. I recall times when I would be driving in traffic, and if someone cut me off, I would immediately get angry at that stranger and think “that jerk (or jerk’ess) meant to cut me off”. In reality, I had no idea why that stranger cut me off. Sure they were driving as if they were a NASCAR finalist, but there really could have been several reasons for their driving behavior including; “maybe they didn’t see me”, or “they have a family emergency to get to”. But at that time in my life, I took being cut-off by some stranger as a personal blow to me……*

Personally I had found that when my confidence grew and I developed a healthy self-image, I was taking actions and comments much less personally. I found myself thinking more along the lines of, “oh they must need to get somewhere urgently”. This comment leaves me free of any negative personal thoughts or blows to my self-image and self-esteem. If you do find yourself taking many things personally, try to take steps to boost your self-confidence, and witness yourself taking things less personal. A great place to start would be to take the free Self-Confidence Quiz that can be found in the right column of this blog.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Is our Sense of Sight a Gift or a Severe Limitation?

Most people will look at this question and say, “Well of course it is a gift....I can’t imagine not having the ability to see”. However, it is important that while it may seem like a wonderful gift, those of us who do have the ability to “see” need to remember that our sight is extremely limiting in how we truly perceive the world. Ironically our vision, while some will argue is one of our more precious senses, is also one of the most deceiving of senses.

NEWSFLASH #1.....you are made up of 70% - 80% of water. Yep.....that fine quenching fluid that we all need in order to survive.

NEWSFLASH #2.....humans are made up of 99.9% of the same elements, and only .10% of our elements are different.

When I heard these statements, I decided to take a short and sweet crash course in the scientific realm of the human body. Granted this was a refresher course as I may have previously learned all about the human body somewhere along my “educational” journey. What I was reminded of, was that the human body is made up of atoms, and that the atoms work together to form molecules. Then the molecules work together to form organs. In addition to these fantastic facts, we are also made up of over 70% - 80% water.

Now, when you look at someone, or something, you don’t visually see the molecules or atoms hard at work. Nor do you see the water that encompasses well over half of our structure. What most people see is the physical perception of an image. For example, trees, flowers, houses, other humans, animals, etc. In addition to our sense of sight, another attribute that plays into our perceptions is our thoughts and how we process what we believe we are seeing.

So, when you realize what we are all really made up of, one can’t help but think, “Are my eyes deceiving me”? In many ways, yes they are. Then I took it a step further and thought, “And are they contributing to a sense of separateness that so many people in the world are experiencing today”?

I was recently challenged with the thought of blindness. I was told of a little girl who was born blind. At first, my initial reaction was “oh no, that poor little girl can’t see anything”. However, now my thoughts have changed to be “oh wow, maybe that little girl has been spared a sense that will no doubt cause a large amount of limitations and misperceptions in her life”.

There is no doubt some wonderful benefits to having a sense of sight, including watching sunsets or sunrises, seeing a flower that has bloomed, or admiring your loved one fast asleep. However, I ask you to recall these simple and extremely powerful facts every day……“you are made up of 70% - 80% water” and “humans are made up of 99.9% of the same elements, and only .10% of our elements are different”. If we all can recall what we truly are made of, and that we are all so similar, then maybe we can feel much more compassion for one another and project into the world a sense of oneness. Then just maybe, we all can work together to reveal the wonderfully peaceful world that truly exists within and all around us.

I will leave you with….and as John Lennon would sing……“Imagine all the people living life in peace….you may say I’m a dreamer…but I’m not the only one....I hope some day you’ll join us….and the world will live as one”.

Peace to all!

Got Gratitude? It Does a Body Good.

Happy Friday everyone……as I was driving in my car this morning, I was stopped at a light and a woman with a stroller was crossing the street. Just above them, a couple birds flew overhead and chirped. In that moment, I was grateful for many things. I was grateful for babies, for mothers, for birds, and the blue sky.

Then the light turned green and all the cars around me took off as if we were in some sort of Indy car race. I then noticed that my body tensed up in my neck, shoulders and back. Then some mundane and negative thoughts entered into my mind, such as the office “to do list”.

I really didn’t think much of this since it had all become so routine for me. However, this morning, I realized something that I had nearly forgotten. The importance of gratitude. I was stopped at a second light and at that moment, I noticed an older man walking his dog along a sidewalk. I smiled as I recalled my dog and how grateful I am for dogs.

The light then turned green again and we all took off, nearly squealing our tires, yet again. This time, however, I observed the other drivers and myself, as if watching an episode of Cops. I was aware that my body again tensed up and the “to do list” thoughts returned in my mind. However, this time, while driving I thought about the things I saw earlier and was grateful for, such as babies, mothers, birds and dogs. As I focused on those grateful things, my body began to relax and feel more at peace. Then I sensed time slightly slowing down. Peace filled that moment and it felt wonderful.

The importance of taking time to recognize what we are grateful for should never be underestimated. Not only does being grateful help relax our minds and feel more joyful, but it also physically relaxes our bodies and has even been known to release hormones that promote the sensation of “pleasure”.

No matter how hectic or busy your life may be, take just a couple minutes each day and make a small list of things you are grateful for. Try to list at least 5 things, no matter how small (e.g. birds singing) or how large (e.g. human rights). When you think of each thing that you are grateful for, try to notice if your mind brings up any negative thoughts or memories. If a negative thought or memory arises, just notice it, and then let it go. Then focus again on those things you are grateful for, at that moment. Recognizing gratitude and listing what you are grateful for, will help you see your life, and the world, in a healthy and joyful perspective.

ENJOY……and have a fantastic weekend!

An “Aha” moment about Space.

This weekend I had an “Aha” moment that I wanted to share with all of you. This “Aha” moment has to do with space.

Now when is the last time you thought about space? And not just the outer-space where other stars and galaxies exist, but also the space that surrounds each object, each person, each living thing. Even further, the thought of space that exists within each object, person, and living thing.

As I sat and thought about space for a moment this past weekend, I felt a sense of understanding at a level I never knew existed. I felt so much space that I could not comprehend the amount of space out there and I felt that was wonderful and amazing. I also felt that space was a sense of stillness and peace for me. I even became teary-eyed at the thought of the amount of space that surrounds all of the universe and the forms that exist. I realize that the amount of space that exists is so vast that it clearly is much larger then the amount of violence, war, illness, and natural disasters that exist in the world. Those adversities seem larger then they are because of the amount of noise they project. However, I realize that when we focus on the spaciousness around us, we feel a sense of peace and stillness. Through that spaciousness and peace, action will come. I realized that when I looked around, and as I saw birds and grass and trees, I acknowledged the space around each of them. Then I further realized that there is space within each of them.

We are all made of energy at our deepest scientific level and energy is movement. In order for anything to move (i.e. atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons), there has to be space for it in which to move. The sky, the universe, there is just so much space, that it is incomprehensible and yet extremely peaceful. To know that space exists more then anything else, and it is amazing and wonderful. And it is that space that we all, as humans, can and need to recognize exists in this world, this planet, our lives, and our forms. To also recognize it in our daily activities. There is space all around, and we are experiencing that consciously through our human forms. A wonderful and amazing realization.

So the next time you do anything, see anything, or think of anything, try to take a moment and recognize the space that surrounds and is within whatever you are doing or thinking about. You just might stumble across the peace and stillness that also exists, which is the consciousness living that is the purpose of every human being, every living object, and life itself.

Worried about $4 per Gallon for Gas? Have No Fear….Our Stimulus Checks are Near.*

Many of us are seeing gas approach $4.00 per gallon and are nearly frozen in disbelief, as if watching some sort of movie with an unbelievable twist we didn’t see coming. However, one solution to that problem may be the economic stimulus checks that are going out as you read this. Much of the buzz I have been hearing from people is that they plan to use the stimulus checks to help pay for the higher gas prices that appear to be plaguing our cities and towns. Other people are not sure what to do with their stimulus checks. Some people plan to pay off some debt, some plan to save their money, while others plan to just go out and spend it, as the government hopes. Moreover, some people plan to diversify their checks by putting some in savings, some on debt, and spending some on themselves.

What are you going to do with your stimulus check? Struggling with that decision at all? Well, struggle no longer….* I would like to share an imperative rule I learned a couple of years ago about decision making and being stuck. Sometimes the right decision is not to make one at all, at least not at that moment. Sound ironic? It is. However, deciding not to make a decision is a decision in itself…..*

So the next time you struggle with what to do with some new found money, or any other kind of decision you need to make, stop and take a moment to clear your mind to make way for the “right” answer to surface. If the decision comes, fantastic. If it does not, don’t fret, it just may not be the right moment. Trust that in another moment the answer may come that is best for you and your decision.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. You can view this entire article by going to our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com and selecting the "Services" page. There you will find a link to a sample of a Higher-Self Living Paycheck, which will include this entire article.

NEW WEBSITE & SERVICE OFFERED!

We are excited to share with you our new Higher-Self Coaching website. Yes, it is up and running as you read this post. Please check us out at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

In addition to a new website, we also offer a new service called Higher-Self Living Paychecks. This is a fantastic new service that can help boast your confidence and experience a more fulfilling lifestyle. Best of all, you can sample a Higher-Self Living Paycheck by visiting our site and going to the "Services" page. Starting tomorrow (May 2, 2008) you will find a link to a sample of a paycheck, which includes an informative and entertaining article, two step-by-step exercises used in coaching sessions, and a 50% coupon.

Please check our new site and services out today.
Thank you and enjoy!!