It’s That Time of Year for “Happy Holiday’s” and New Year’s Resolutions.*

Well, the holidays are upon us and all around are the sights and sounds of hustle and bustle. Many will purchase exciting gifts for loved ones and others will plan to attend parties to spread joy. Unfortunately, some people may not recognize this time of year as joyful, and struggle through it with tears and pain…*

I just would like for all of us this time of year to practice acceptance if and when we encounter a “scrooge” during our holiday season. A friend of mine mentioned to me that she was shopping, and while standing in line, met a stranger who shared that they didn’t like this time of year at all. Immediately she replied to the stranger, “why not, but it is Christmas time”. While my friend was just trying to be friendly and wanted to see this stranger enjoy this time, she forgot one vital piece of information….acceptance for others.

I have come to respect that this time of year can be a struggle and painful time for some, and I no longer try to cheer them up. I accept that I do not know what experiences a person may have lived that brought them to a place of sorrow during a holiday season. So when I encounter a person that is less then happy to see a holiday season come upon us, I accept their thoughts and inside my mind, I hope for some joy or peace in their life at this time. So the next time you encounter a “scrooge”, then consider spreading some peace to them by simply smiling and inside hoping joy for them…*

This is also a time of year for New Year’s resolutions. Many people will create lists of desired hopes and dreams that they want to accomplish or experience in the upcoming new year. I want to just remind everyone of turtle steps while creating New Year’s resolutions. Turtle steps will allow for a much higher success rate of achieving and reaching your goal, as opposed to entering the month of February and realizing you just can’t stick with it and fall flat on your face. Creating turtle steps is easy. You just take a resolution and then cut it in half. Then cut it in half again…and again. Keep doing this until you feel in your mind, and body, that you can do that for sure.

For example, one resolution a relative of mine has is to quit smoking. A challenging task indeed. She smokes about 1 pack a day and her resolution was to quit completely. So I asked her to try this turtle step technique and she cut her goal in half (i.e. cut down to ½ pack a day). Then she cut it down again and again, until she reached smoking one less cigarette a day. That felt much more achievable then quitting all together suddenly. Thus, try taking turtle steps to help easily reach your New Year’s resolutions.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

We Often Put Ourselves in Other People’s Shoes, But Beware of Placing Others in Your’s.*

A very popular phrase, and mental practice we bestow upon ourselves, is “Put yourself in their shoes”. When we put ourselves in other people’s shoes, it often leads to compassion and kindness. For example, when we hear of someone we know who has a death in their family, we often think about losing one ourselves and then feel that pain and sadness temporarily. That emotional experience then often leads to a kind gesture or action. In the form of a phone call, or in the case of a death, a sympathy card, or visit to a funeral home. In some cases, a person may also find that they would handle a situation differently, and in that case you learn about yourself.

However, beware of occasions where you might imagine having someone in your shoe’s, if you feel someone’s actions are disappointing you. If you are struggling with something, and feel the urge to wonder how someone else would handle a situation you are struggling with, try not to. When in this frame of mind, chances are you are judging someone else. In most cases, when we go there and think to ourselves that someone else would handle something the same as we were, then that can lead to disappointment and further judging. For example, “I lost loved one and Ann hasn’t contacted me or said sorry to hear. What if she lost a loved one and I didn’t contact her?” Try to catch yourself doing this and then try one of two things. Either let it go, or think of another more positive reason someone has not contacted you…*

Some may believe that asking someone to put the shoe on their foot, may lead to compassion or understanding. However, this too is very risky. In some occasional situations, the other person may see your point and agree with you. However, in many cases, a person may get defensive and try to deny or defend how they are handling it. This is partly because in a way, we are asking them to experience our pain or to face something they did wrong. Many people aren’t very welcoming of when someone tries to get them to experience difficult situations. Their defense mechanisms most likely kick in and they instantly try to avoid the negative experience being presented to them.

Placing yourself in someone else’s shoes can lead to compassion, but be cautious of wanting someone else to be placed in your’s.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

The Power of Negative and Positive Thoughts….Where Does Your Power Lie? *

I was recently skimming over the CNN news highlights and some of them read, “Bad hurricanes forecast, but few ready”, “Woman in iron lung dies after power failure”,
and “Do You Hate Your Commute Too?”

Now, as you read each of those statements, how do you feel? If you had to label each as a positive or negative news story, which would each be? As I read them, I realized that each of them was negative in nature. My initial responses to each of the statements were, “Yikes”, “Very sad”, and “Heck yah I hate it”. Many of you may be able to relate to those responses, and if you do, I want to point something out to you. Something that had occurred to me as I realized my own reaction to them. My thoughts about those stories left me feeling worried, sad, and frustrated. I then noticed how my thoughts continued to think of other negative thoughts about my own life and experiences. For example, I thought about a storm I had seen years ago that left me feeling as if I were in a re-make of The Wizard of Oz, the tornado scene. Then I thought about the day I had a very bad commute into work, as if I had been transported onto the streets of downtown New York. This went on for several minutes, until I realized how I was giving more power to my negative thoughts and disregarding any positive thoughts.

Negative thoughts can be useful and have a purpose in the sense that they indicate how you are feeling at any given moment. Once someone realizes that, “hey, I have been feeling frustrated or stressed”, then they can use that as a signal to
acknowledge what they are feeling and then ideally let it go…..*

…..*

Finally, a very effective question to ask yourself the next time you experience a negative thought is, “Is it the negative thought that is really upsetting me, or is it the power I am giving the negative thought that is upsetting me?” Once you figure out the answer, you will begin to free yourself from your negative thoughts, and then you can choose to focus on more positive thoughts.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

”Actions speak louder then words”…but being true to one’s self is to have our actions match our words. *

I can’t tell you how many times I heard this phrase, and believed it to be true. It seemed to make sense. I mean, in most cases, it is easier to say things then to actually do them. Or when we go to do them, we realize they are not as easy to do as we thought, so we don’t do them.

In recent years, I have come to learn that I feel most true to myself when my actions actually match my words. Not that they necessarily have to speak louder then them. In the past, I will admit that there were times when I would say something to someone, or commit to something, when I knew there was a very good chance I would not be able to actually do so. In those cases, my actions didn’t match my words and that caused some internal conflict….*

Another instance where conflict is created is when someone says things that can’t possibly be true. For example, a friend of mine was in a long distance relationship and one thing that her partner said to her was that he wanted to physically be with her every day. Yet his actions could not possibly match that as he was thousands of miles away. While the thought seemed nice, eventually it became disheartening for my friend to repeatedly hear one thing, but see and feel another….*

I would like for each of you to take time this week and try to be aware of your actions versus your words. Be aware if you are saying one thing, but your actions are doing another. If so, is there any pattern or trend you notice? Then, if you do identify instances where your actions do not meet your words, try to get them to match up. In some cases, you will find that changing your actions to meet your words is the answer. In other cases, you will find that changing your words to match your actions is what is needed to bring peace and balance back into your life.

A very important point to also keep in mind when changing your words to meet your actions is the use of the word (i.e. thought), “I can’t”. In rare and unusually circumstances, it may be true when a person cannot do something. But in most cases, a truer statement is that you “choose not to” do something.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Loving Someone, Being In-Love, and Love…Just as is. *

Love….is perhaps one of the most passionate and nurturing emotions possessed by humans and other creatures alike. An emotion most yearn for, and many receive.

Over the years, I have heard many people mention such phrases as “I love him”, or “I am in-love with her.” Several people I know believe that loving someone and being in-love with someone are two different types of love. I thought this was an intriguing belief so I decided to give it much thought. I also decided to ask a handful of people the difference, for them, between loving someone and being in-love with someone….*

The response I received, unanimously, was that loving someone meant in a deeply caring way for a relative, or very close and dear friend. Being in-love with someone was tied to romantic feelings for someone such as a partner, or spouse. I also thought more about it and realized that loving someone comes with conditions. We can love someone but still get irritated with some of their unusual habits. However, when we are in-love with someone, we tend to be a bit more unconditional and put on blinders to some less desirable habits they may possess. We also may find simple things about them very wonderful and intriguing. As if magnifying some of their attributes.

Personally, I believe that love just can be as simple as caring for any other. In some ways, I believe we are love. Underneath all the layers of other emotions and feelings, lies love….*

What I would like each of you to do is experience love, just as it is. Regardless of the types of love you have defined for yourself in relation to others. Take a moment and just relax and sit with the word “love”. Feel what love means to you within yourself. Most importantly, notice the love you have for yourself.

Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Sail Into Summer by Steering Clear of the Three W’s….That Can Cause Mental Storms*

Where does the time go? Summer time 2009 is here and many are planting colorful flowers, buying suntan lotion, revving up the barbeques and dodging bumble bees.

Summer time can also mean hot steamy temperatures and occasional thunderstorms. However, dear mother nature isn’t the only one that produces storms. Sometimes, we humans have what I refer to as “mental storms”. By mental storms, I mean negative and stressful thought patterns that can take over our minds and continue to grow in strength as they move about in our heads. Many of these mental storm systems are brought on by, what I call, the three W’s…..worry, waiting, and wondering.

Worry can be an effective incoming “front”, causing mental storms. Many people worry about something from the past, or anticipate something in the future. ….*
Waiting is also damaging and keeps your life “on hold”. Many people seem to be waiting their whole lives in anticipation of future events. ….*
The last “W” is wonder. Now some of you may being thinking “I thought wonder was a good emotion to have”, and it can be. For instance, if you are wondering about something positive, then that can be a fine type of wonder. However, many people wonder about negative things. For example, wondering about what would happen if you lost your job, or a loved one fell ill. ….*

Often these three W’s can work together and feed off each other, causing a sort of mental typhoon in your head. However, there are steps you can take (e.g. Using Your Doppler Radar and Clear Skies Collage) to avoid stirring up these mental storms and just sail through this summer like a fresh breeze. ….*

So the next time you find yourself worrying, waiting, or wondering…try to relax those thoughts so that they don’t turn into thunderous mental storms.

Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Celebrating Our Independence While Acknowledging Our Connections. *

This weekend found millions celebrating Independence Day (AKA: the 4th of July) with barbecues, friends and family gatherings, and boisterous fireworks. The 4th of July marks a day in U.S. history in which independence was declared from Great Britain.

While this is truly a victorious day in our history, I do want to take the time to also acknowledge the connection that exists within our countries and our world. Perhaps years ago, many found that being separate and independent was the most important state to be in. Having a sense of independence is a wonderful gift, however, and now more then ever in these tough economic times, a sense of connection and oneness is crucial.

I found that this year was the first year in which I felt more of a connection with other countries, versus celebrating our independence from another country…*

When was the last time you felt a sense of connection, or oneness, with another person or another thing? A sense that leaves you feeling bliss, euphoric, passionate, and whole. A connection that cannot be described in the thousands of words found in the Webster

Dictionary…*

If you have not felt this sense in a very long while, if at all, please take the time this week to experience such a connection. One way to do this is to either shake hands or hug someone you know and care for. When doing so, clear your mind of thoughts that may intrude that moment you are sharing with this other person. Just appreciate that brief moment, realizing that there is a special sense of connection being shared.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Experiencing our Inner-Father during Father’s Day Weekend. *

For many people, this weekend is one in which we celebrate fatherhood. A day that has been acknowledged in the U.S. since 1909. Believe it or not, the national celebration of Father’s Day almost remained a myth. When it was introduced, many chuckled at it and thought it to be more of a satire and parody. However, in the 1960’s, it became a national holiday, just like Mother’s Day (Source: http://www.history.com/content/fathersday).

As many of you may recall, a prior newsletter discussed having an Inner-Mother. Well as you can imagine, we also possess an Inner-Father. An inner guide that helps us to build up our self-esteem and sense of security and safety.

Some people may have very loving and supportive fathers. Others may have lost their fathers, while many may never known their fathers. Regardless of your situation, we all have an Inner-Father. There are many ways that an inner-father can be accessed…*

One way is to sit down and take a piece of paper and pen (or pencil). Make two columns and write “Self” on the top of one column, and “Inner-Father” on the other. Then in the “Self” column, write some traits that you have that you feel you would like to change. Try to list four to five of them. Then go to the “Inner-Father” column and feel within a sense of an Inner-Father. Answers may come into your consciousness.

Another way to access your Inner-Father is to simply close your eyes and relax your mind and body. Give yourself at least five minutes to do this. Then imagine reaching out and communicating with your Inner-Father. For example, you may say to yourself, “Inner-Father, please help heal me” or “Guide me through this time”…*

Finding a little time to explore and experience your Inner-Father can help you to become more self-confident and feel a sense of wholeness.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Being Authentic and Not Everyone Else’s Puppet. *

Recently, I have had a couple people mention something they are struggling with, and so I thought I would share their struggle, and my coaching tip, with all of you.

This struggle that two acquaintances shared with me had to do with being authentic toward themselves and others. They simple said that they often say “yes” to other people, when they really want to say “no”. But they fear that saying “no” will lead to hurt feelings and even long-term rejection. I bet most of you can relate to their struggle. How many times have you thought, “oh man, I really don’t want to go but I said yes”? Too many times? Well, I have a couple points to bring to your attention that may help you to try to stay true to your deep desire, and live a more peaceful life.

The first point has to do with self-regret. When you say “yes” to something that you really want to say “no” too, then you put yourself in a position where you may have much self-regret. Self-regret is more difficult to overcome emotionally then regret for another person. If that someone who you are saying “no” to is a true friend, or close relative, then they will accept your answer….*

The second point I want to make you aware of is about the power you are giving up. If you say “yes” to someone and “no” to yourself, then you are giving someone else total power over your decisions and outcome. This leaves you in a position where you could lose out two-fold. For one, if you end up not having a good time, then a part of you may be upset with the person who asked you to participate. Second, another part of you may be upset at yourself for having caved in and agreed to something you originally didn’t want to do. An internal “I told you so” scenario, which is very uncomfortable and down-right frustrating. However, if you do what is true to you (e.g. say “no” when you want to), then you can only lose one-fold (wait…is that even a word?...oh well you know what I mean)….*

So, the next time you are faced with a question or decision that has you saying “yes”, when you really want to say “no”, please recall these two points and consider being true to you. Your life will become more fulfilling and peaceful.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Memorial Day’s Red Poppies and realizing your inner-peace. *

This weekend represents a very historic time for hundreds of thousands of service men and women. From those who served time, to all their loved ones who eagerly hoped and waited for their safe return home.

Another inspiration that many are unaware of is the Red Poppy. A woman named Moina Michael started a tradition where she wore red poppies to honor those who died serving our nation during the war (Source: http://www.usmemorialday.org/
/backgrnd.html). Ms. Michael sold poppies to many of her friends and family, and in turn gave that money to benefit service men and women in need….*

For me, red poppies are now a sign of peace. The land that they now occupy, is ironically some of the same land that once was witness to some of our deadliest wars. The beauty of seeing hundreds of red petals blowing in a light breeze and sending out their delicate and delightful scent, brings a sense of peace….*

I would like for all of you to go to a local florist, landscape store, or even an online store, and buy yourself some red poppies. Then every day, as you admire and care for your new floral friends, realize and sense the peace that they bring to you and your environment. Lean in and slowly smell their gifted scent; that which goes directly to your brain’s internal pleasure-boat. For you, at that moment, there will be inner-peace. Feel free to do this several times a day to help bring more peace to your busy lifestyle.

I will leave you with a short poem that Ms. Michael wrote:

We cherish too, the Poppy redThat grows on fields where valor led,It seems to signal to the skiesThat blood of heroes never dies.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Confidence...The Very Thing Self-Trust Is Made Of. *

Well folks, I found that in the past couple of weeks, a common theme kept popping up on my radar that inspired me to write an article about it. The topic of Confidence.

I have seen may definitions of confidence, from “feeling assurance”, to “having faith in a person.” However, one recent definition I never heard before really struck me and became branded in my mind. That definition was, “having trust in one’s abilities”.

Now, I ask you to think about that for a moment. When I heard that definition, I realized that many people I know may have much less confidence then they are aware of. Do you trust your abilities? Are there things about you that you don’t trust? Some people don’t trust such things as their ability to remember, while others don’t trust their actions or reactions in certain situations….*

I recently was with someone who almost didn’t go to a fun event because they did not trust their own abilities in making a responsible decision. I knew that this person believed that there was a side of them they didn’t trust. I asked him when was the last time he tried to trust himself in this situation, and he said weeks. So I mentioned to him that he could focus on breaking up the event into small and simple steps.

The first step was to trust himself and his abilities. To sit with that trust within for a moment. Then the second step was to travel to the event. I asked him to take a moment to check himself for self-trust, after the second step. If he felt a strong sense of mistrust, then he could leave. But if he felt he still trusted himself, then he could continue to the third step, which was to sit down and greet friends at the event. After every step, I asked him to internally check himself. This seemed to help him tremendously with his ability to be more aware of his actions and gain some self-trust. He felt much more in control of his abilities and enjoyed himself at the event….*

So if there is an area in your life that you feel low confidence, or self-trust in your abilities, then try breaking down the situation in small steps and checking in periodically for self-trust. Over time you will begin to trust yourself again and build your confidence.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Easter Time and Finding Your Inner Hidden Easter Eggs*

How about that….for many, it is Easter today. Some people will be visiting family, coloring hard-boiled eggs with bright and vibrant colors, and receiving a beautiful basket filled with candy, jelly beans, and of course a big old chocolate bunny. Many kids, young and old, will be hiding Easter eggs and searching for them. I remember as a young girl looking for Easter eggs at my grandmother’s house. I felt so excited when I saw a hint of a bright yellow, or vibrant blue egg, nestled in the grass or a couch cushion. Some of the eggs were hard and delicious to eat. While others were made of plastic and when popped open, revealed a yummy treat.

As a coach, I realized that finding bright Easter eggs filled with surprises was much like finding a new passion. Coming across a new idea or thought that seemed exciting and fun, made me feel all giddy inside, much like when I opened a plastic Easter egg. And some of those ideas and thoughts have blossomed into new, wonderful, and even life- long hobbies and passions….*

In the spirit of Easter today, I would like to ask all of you to take a moment to search for some new hidden passions to explore and invite into your life. Take some small pieces of paper and write down a couple (preferably more) ideas or passions you have thought up, or come across. Write each down on a small sheet and fold them up. Place each in a colorful plastic Easter egg. Have someone hide them for you, or if you live alone, place them in creative locations you will come across them. The following day, look for and find the eggs. Open each and see what idea or passion you reveal.

Next, take one small step to reaching, or researching that idea. Pay close attention to your body’s response to this step. In most cases, you will experience some excitement and that will lead to another step. Now, some people may find that their body is not enthusiastically responding to the idea or passion. In those cases, the road to that idea or passion may be done, and the next idea or passion can be pursued….*

However, in most cases, these little and fun steps can lead to a new life-long and fulfilling hobby or passion.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

”Been There, Done That, Yah Hoo”…the Importance of Accomplishment. *

This is it people….this newsletter is about to start in motion a journey for you that may delight you, encourage you, or scare you to death…..or at least make you pee in your pants. I am going to ask you to get up, get out there, and accomplish an old raggedy and dusted goal you have put off for years.

Come on, you can do it. We all have heard that old cliche, “There is no time like the present”. Don’t wait for one of those moments where you hear the passing of a loved one, or a devastating illness to remind you of the importance of the present moment and accomplishing your goals and dreams. The reality of life is that none of us know when or where we will move on to another way of living. For example, recently I accomplished a goal and dream that I had set years ago. When I was a little girl and watched my first Oscar award show, I had dreamt of being an actress. Yet years would pass, and a mountain of dust would accumulate, before I would actually take action.

So this year I decided to go for it. As a life coach, I have the mentality of “living it to give it”. I heard from a friend that I could sign up for a local acting workshop with an experienced actress. The workshop met once a week and ran for four fun weeks. You didn’t need experience, which worked particularly well for me since I had absolutely no experience at all. The only experience I had was the occasional daydream of starring in a role opposite an admired actor I cherished….or one I just thought was really hot….*

I eagerly signed up, got butterflies in my tummy and waited for the first class to start. To make a great story short….I LOVED IT. During one of the classes, our teacher said “all of you actors will experience….”. OK…at that moment I was actually called an actor. I looked around to see who she was referring too and realized that she meant all of us, including me. I also realized then that I didn’t need to have a starring role in an Oscar nominated movie, or be a regular in some sitcom, to be considered an actor. What a cool realization!!

I also experienced a sense of accomplishment. Some of the other students had not completed the class, but a handful of us had….*

I would like to ask each of you to think of an old dream or goal you had years ago as a child, that you didn’t act on. Then take a simple step, or two, and accomplish that goal. You can do it…finish it and enjoy that sense of accomplishment that results.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

"Spring" into Spring with a Vision Board*

Finally it is that wonderful time of year that, for many of us, several things begin to blossom and grow. Eager buds start to form on robust tree branches, flowers begin to flourish, geese begin to head back north, and countless winter blue moods start to dissolve with warm smiles. Many people are finally able to step outside and take in a breath of fresh air without risking hypothermia. Ah yes….Spring is in the air.

This is also an excellent time of year to create an exciting Vision Board, inviting in your ultimate dreams and desires. However, BEWARE! When you do create a vision board, please realize that whatever you place on your board will in fact come true for you….*

Vision Boards have been around for years, and the concept was popularized when a book called, The Secret, was published. Vision Boards are very simple, yet extremely powerful. Now, normally I usually explain to all of you my experiences with certain challenges and then I share how I was able to deal with them. However, in this case, I have not yet done a vision board, so I will be creating one at the very same time as all of you…..in the next couple of weeks.…*

The most popular and easy way to create a vision board is to do the following steps:
1) Get a poster board (or a piece of construction paper to go on your fridge).
2) Get a few magazines (walk through a bookstore or pharmacy and see which magazines you are drawn to most-see if you are drawn to different types).
3) Get glue (or tape if you prefer).
4) Sit for a moment and clear your mind so that your dreams and desires can surface.
5) Go through the magazines and cut out pictures and phrases that just feel wonderful and right to you. It can be something you love or wish for.
6) Glue each picture/phrase onto your board and put it up in a place you will see often.
Please feel free to also list or write anything you want on your board. That’s it.

So, let’s do this together! Please take the next couple of weeks and create your vision board, as will I. Then, get this, I plan to write an updated article in the next couple of months to share how my life has been going in relation to my vision board. I would also LOVE for any of you to share any experiences or stories you have happen as a result of your vision board. Just shoot me an email as I would love to hear from you.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Dance Your Way to a Happier Mood*

That is right folks, you can now dance your way to a happier mood. Shocker? Maybe for some of you, but others may not be as surprised. I will admit that up until a couple months ago, I had not danced in years, except for the occasional wedding reception, when a relative or friend of mine walked down the aisle and changed their name. And every time I was dancing, I always wondered why I had waited so long to do so.

When is the last time you took time to dance? And I don’t mean taking a dance class or even dancing at a wedding. While those occasions are fantastic opportunities, they also happen probably much less frequent then a solar eclipse. I am talking about just dancing alone at home. When is the last time you just put on a song and just let your body go? The last time you felt the music and just wiggled and jiggled, or waltzed across the room with that imaginary attractive partner? ….*

If you have not done this in days, months, or even years, please take the time in the next few days to do so. Find a song you love and just feel the music and let your body go. Even if you don’t hear or sense the rhythm of the song, you can still just let your body guide you by trusting it completely. Dancing is a form of exercise and the super duper thing about that is the release of endorphins. Endorphins are released in the brain and cause a reduction in pain and an increase in euphoria. And who couldn’t use some endorphins at this time of year, when many are dealing with winter blues….*

Now, if you are in need of a song, or would like to learn some dance steps, then I encourage you to venture to You Tube. There you can find a plethora of songs and dance moves that will help you to get into the groove and improve your mood. And heck, for those of you who would like to shed a pound, or two, or thirty, you may do just that in the process.

So I challenge each of you to find a couple minutes tomorrow and get up and dance to a favorite tune. Your body will be grateful that you allowed it to express itself, and in return will release those handy dandy endorphins that will brighten your day.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Hollywood's Biggest Night...the Oscars...and Many Viewers Confronted With Unfulfilled Dreams

Hello everyone,

Well, tonight is Hollywood's biggest night....the Oscars. Several celebrities will spend their day primping, preparing, and of course dressing for a night of glitz, glamour, and celebration. Some people will wake up wondering...will Kate Winslet win the gold or two golds....and will Angelina Jolie wear Oscar de la Renta or Versace?

This night will also bring millions of viewers worldwide to witness Hollywood's mirage moment of 2008 film accomplishments. Many of these viewers will watch with eager anticipation to see if their favorite actors and films will take the gold. Others viewers will watch with a deep sense of yearning, or even disappointment, as the award shows act as a reminder that they have not yet fulfilled a deep seated dream or desire they hold within their soul.

Once again, I can relate....can you? While you watch the Oscars, do you find yourself wishing it were you on the red carpet being interviewed by Entertainment Tonight's Rep regarding your academy nomination? Do you daydream that you are nominated for your work in front of the camera (e.g. actor), or perhaps behind the camera (e.g. directing, screenplay, art direction)?

Regardless of what kind of viewer you are, I want to point out a priceless fact that will help you to keep this night in a realistic, and more enjoyable perspective. I also want to challenge those of you who feel a sense of yearning, to entertain (no pun intended) a simple course of action that just may put you smack dab in the middle of the red carpet some day.

The priceless fact that I love to recall during moments of heightened popularity, is a simple scientific one; WE ARE 99.90% THE SAME. Yep, that is right folks. Scientists will confirm that as human beings, we are actually 99.90% the same. It is the .01% that distinguishes us from one another. Oh, how our eyes deceive us of this simple yet profound fact. So, when you are watching Brad Pitt or Penelope Cruz walk down the red carpet, just take a quick moment (or a long one) and smile knowing that in reality, you share 99.9% the same make-up as they do. Even if your eyes tell you that you are from two different worlds.

The challenge that I want to present to many of you who feel a sense of yearning, is a simple one. Take a turtle step or two, tonight if possible while watching the Oscars, and list those awards that sound interesting to you. Whether that be best actor, director, or editing. Then take just a little time, in the next week or two, and research each of those career paths. If you are feeling really inspired, sign up for a nearby acting workshop or an Intro to Film course. Just taking simple steps can start to pave a road for you that just might lead you to a red carpet. For others it may confirm that a future in the entertainment industry is not their true path after all, which will then quite the yearning voice that haunts you every time you are faced with an award show that leaves you feeling a sense of "what if".

So, for those of you who will be tuning in to the Oscars tonight....enjoy the show from these new perspectives, and who knows....you just might be the one on the big screen some day being watched by millions of viewers, accepting a golden award, and forgetting to thank those you meant too.

Cyber hugs,

Shannon

Valentine’s Day and Being Your Own Greatest Valentine. *

Well, low and behold this weekend included a special day in which love is widely recognized and celebrated, with a plethora of poetic greeting cards, beautiful red and pink flowers, and heart-shaped boxes filled with delectable chocolates. Some people call this a “Hallmark Holiday”, however there is quite a history to this day we call Valentine’s Day.

For example, there were several Saints named Valentine, who were martyrs to many but none of which associated the day with love or romance. It is documented that during the middle ages, it became associated with romance during a time of courtly love and the works of Geoffrey Chaucer, among others.

Another example is the well known Greek mythological god, Cupid. The legend of Cupid is rather fascinating with a version that deems cupid as the son of Venus (the goddess of love) and Mars (the god of war). In any case, clearly Valentine’s Day for many is much more then a mere Hallmark Holiday. It is a day filled with rich past history.

Traditionally, in the west anyway, Valentine’s Day is celebrated and shared by couples and lovers in the forms of romantic dinners and gift exchanges. Many restaurants will be packing in tables mostly in even increments (i.e. couples), with a majority of the requests for “two”. While this can be an enjoyable and satisfying custom, I love to point out that you are your own best Valentine!

When we look forward too, or even expect, someone else to shower us with Valentine greetings, gifts, and plans, we are also setting ourselves up for disappointment, and dare I say a little heartache….*

I would like recommend that every Valentine’s Day, you give yourself a special Valentine gift. Whether that be in the form of sending yourself a Valentine greeting card or buying a yummy box of chocolates wedged in a heart-shaped box. That way, you will most certainly enjoy this special day filled with love. Regardless if you are in a relationship or not, regardless of whether someone else celebrates it with you….*

Self-love is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give to ourselves, and one in which can be expressed and celebrated on Valentine’s Day.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

The Super Bowl, Friends, and the Power of Eye Contact

This weekend was Super Bowl XLIII. Now, if you’re like me, you either missed school the day they taught Roman numerals or just can’t recall what the heck XLIII represents. So let me translate (and thank you Google)…..this weekend was Super Bowl 43.

Many people gather during the Super Bowl to visit and watch one of the most important night’s in football. I was fortunate enough to be invited to a friend’s home to visit, as well as root for my favorite underdog team.

Some of my friends I had not seen in years, and it was great to reconnect and catch up. I realized that during most of the game, many of us were not even paying much attention to the game and in fact were enjoying talking and sharing old time stories that still gave us a good laugh as if they happened yesterday.

One thing that I made a point to do was to make eye contact with nearly every friend, especially when they were talking to me. I looked into their eyes and really listened to what they were saying and sharing with me. As a result, I felt a special quality about our conversations and felt more of a connection then in the past. I also realized how similar we all really are in so many ways. We share similar ups and downs, and joys and challenges. Time had flown by and I was surprised when the clocks had reached an hour in which we had to logically leave. This was a pleasurable night that I would not forget….*

This gathering reminded me of how important something simple as having eye contact with another person you are conversing with really is. The quality of the conversation is heightened and a special connection is made. Common ground is found and a kinship is realized.…*

So the next time you are with family or friends, try to be aware of your eye contact when you are engaged with them. A simple conversation may just turn into a memorable connection.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Barack Obama and his Presidential Pledge

Hello everyone,

HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY!!!

Today the United States celebrates the birthday of one of its historic icons, Martin Luther King Jr. Many people come together to help volunteer and improve their communities in some way. A very special day indeed.

Here is a wonderful quote by a man I more then admire:

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tomorrow will be a day that Doctor King is inevitably very proud of. An inspiring day that will be witnessed and experienced by so many people around the world. The United States will swear in Barack Obama as their next president. I am more then proud to be experiencing this moment in my lifetime.

Today I saw a program that announced how Barack Obama is going to have a Presidential Pledge. This pledge will enable everyone to participate in a way that will encourage positive change in their lives and communities. A video was created by some celebrities to introduce this pledge and I would like for all of you to look for this video on either YouTube or on Oprah's website, as it will be coming soon.

I knew nearly immediately what my pledge would be and it is below:

I pledge to spread peace, by bringing peace into every interaction and encounter that I have.

Please think of what your pledge will be, and thank you for making the world a better place as a result.

Peace to all,

Shannon

Practicing being Transparent can bring more Peace to your Life

Recently a friend of mine had struggled with something that I felt was beneficial to share with many of you as you may be able to relate. This friend of mine spent a weekend with some relatives, where there happened to be a toddler staying. This toddler at times would get very excited and ran around and scream loudly. Every time the scream occurred, my friend would cringe inside and out. She wanted to say something, but was afraid to offend the toddler’s parents.

Many of us can relate and have heard a toddler’s vocal abilities, reaching decibels we swear are high enough to do permanent eardrum damage. There is an exercise that I would like to share with all of you that will help you to relieve any loud and un-welcomed sound you may experience. This exercise also can help bring a little peace into your situation and moment....*

All that you need to try to do is imagine that you are transparent when a sound is negatively effecting you. Specifically imagine that the sound goes through you, as opposed to you being a brick wall of resistance that the sound is hitting up against. When you envision the sound going through you, you may notice a weakening of the resistance that you were experiencing when the sound began to irritate you. In most cases, resistance can strengthen a negative experience. When we no longer resist, we become more accepting and more at peace with what is at that moment. When a sound bothers us, a couple things are going on within our bodies. The first is that we are hearing the sound through the gift of our ears abilities. Second, our mind’s then processes the sound and labels it as either a pleasant or unpleasant experience….*

Therefore, the next time you experience a moment with a sound that is leaving you feeling anything but pleasant, then imagine being transparent, and let the sound travel through you versus slamming into you.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Being Non-Judgemental...a Priceless Practice.

Hello,

Recently I experienced the benefits of practicing being non-judgemental. This practice can be extremely difficult as we are bombarded with daily stories, people, and news who share information with us accompanied with their thoughts and opinions.

Thoughts and opinions are a part of the human condition....the mind to be exact. While this can be quite a gift, in most cases it is misused leading to judgements of others and ultimately causing a sense of separation among us.

I have been practicing being non-judgemental on a daily basis. The first step I took was just being aware of when I was judging other beliefs, people, and opinions. Once I had gotten use to being aware and recognizing my judgemental thoughts and attitude, I was then able to take the second step.

The second step was to challenge each of my judgemental thoughts. For example, I would ask myself why I had that thought, and more importantly, could that thought or judgement be wrong? Most of the time, I realized that my judgemental thoughts could be inaccurate or wrong, which left me feeling critical and harsh.

Once I was able to get familiar with challenging my judgemental thoughts, I was able to diffuse the hold that they had on me. In addition, I diffused the control they had on my emotions and resulting actions.

I realized the benefits of my practice when a recent event found its way into my life and my moment. When I was told of this event, not only was I free of being judgemental, but I was free of feeling any sort of negative emotions that could have resulted from one of my judgemental thoughts. Had this event happened to someone else, judgemental and fearful thoughts could have taken over and left emotions of anger, jealousy, and fear of rejection. However, I didn't judge the event and was able to steer clear of the negative emotions that could have resulted. I felt emotional free and at peace with the entire event and situation.

Now don't get me wrong, I still have moments every day where a part of me (i.e. my ego) still does try to judge and even react to judgemental thoughts. However I am much more aware of them now when they occur, and as time goes by, the judgemental thoughts seem to occur much less frequently.

I would love for all of you to try to be aware of any judgemental thoughts that you have and try to challenge them. Over time your judgemental thoughts will weaken and as a result you will feel much more mentally free and at peace.

Peace and Stillness,
Shannon

Roll in the New Year with a New Dream or New Hobby

It is that time of year once again when many people reflect on the past year and set new year’s resolutions. Many new year’s resolutions that get set are often focused on either halting a bad trait or trying to begin a healthy new one.

Often time’s people tend to refrain from setting a new exciting dream to pursue or a new fun hobby to pick up. To start the year out on an adventurous note, I challenge all of you to create a new exciting dream or a fun new hobby to pursue. I further challenge you to set up a short and sweet schedule that would outline a few turtle steps for you to achieve that dream or hobby.

For example, as I reflected on the past year, I realized that there was a dream I had not yet pursued, as well as a hobby I had not untaken. My dream was to revise and submit a fictional novel I had written a couple of years ago. A new hobby I’d always wanted to pursue was learning to play the piano….*

When the new year approached, I came up with a couple small steps in order to work towards both my aspiring dream of becoming a published author as well as an amateur pianist. So, my steps included printing off my rough manuscript and spend just ten to fifteen minutes a day revising a paragraph or two. I also took some holiday gift money and purchased a Piano for Dummies book to begin learning about the piano and its history. Having taken just those first steps, has helped me to feel a sense of accomplishment and joy.

In addition to the joy these steps have already given me, a new adventurous journey has begun in my life. Taking simple steps to pursue something new can result in an amazing spiral effect and lead to new dreams and new accomplishments. Another example is a friend of mine who is a working actress. One role she had landed required her to learn to play a little guitar. As a result, she fell in love with the guitar and has now started up band that she loves doing more then acting….*

Therefore, if you have not already done so, please consider pursuing a new dream or undertaking a new hobby for the new 2009 year. Then watch a new adventurous journey unfold before your eyes.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

New Year's Resolutions, Turtle Steps, and a Poem

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and look forward to a fantastic 2009 year.

Most people begin a new year with new year's resolutions. I even have a couple of my own. Heck, it may even be safe to say that most people include some sort of healthier living resolution included in their list of new year's resolutions....and again, I am one of them. One of my resolutions is to incorporate some sort of regular exercise routine so that I can have a happy and healthy heart. Especially since that organ is vital to my existence.

While I was setting my new year's resolutions, I wanted to take this moment to remind everyone of the importance of turtle steps when setting new year's resolutions and sticking to them. Many people who set new year's resolutions will set goals that are essentially leaps or jumps. For example, one friend of mine said they wanted to lose weight this year, so they plan to begin working out 5 days a week. Prior to today, she didn't work out at all. That is what I consider a "leap" so to speak. To go from one extreme to another.

However, if you set resolutions or goals in the form of leaps or jumps, chances are you may fall flat on your face. And getting back up may be a little challenging. However, if you set your resolutions in the form of turtle steps, then chances are you will take one step forward, and then another step forward, without falling flat on your face.

I encourage everyone to look at any and all new year's resolutions they have set for 2009 and apply the turtle steps method. All that you need to do is take a resolution/goal and cut it in half. Then cut it in half again. Keep cutting the goal in half until every part of you (mind and body) says "yes, we can definitely do that and stick to it".

For example, my friend was going to go from zero days of working out, to working out five days a week. She cut that in half, which left her with about 3 days a week (she rounded up from 2.5). Then she cut it in half again and rounded it to 2 days a week. When she thought about working out 2 days a week versus 5 days a week, she realized that every part of her felt a sense of "we can do that". Some people might even cut that in half and work out 1 day a week, or even 1 day every other week.

Then once a turtle step becomes a habit, you can increase the steps gradually. As humans, more gradual changes are easier for us to incorporate in our lives then trying to make sudden changes. So please take a moment today and apply the turtle steps method to your new year's resolutions and enjoy your desired results unfold before your very eyes.

I also wanted to share a wonderful poem I read today:

Otherwise

I got out of bed

on two strong legs

It might have been

otherwise. I ate

cereal, sweet

milk, ripe, flawless

peach. It might

have been otherwise.

I took the dog uphill

to the birch wood.

All morning I did

the work I love.

As noon I lay down

with my mate. It might

have been otherwise.

We ate dinner together

at a table with silver

candlesticks. It might

have been otherwise.

I slept in a bed

in a room with paintings

on the walls, and

planned another day

just like this day.

But one day, I know,

it will be otherwise.

- Jane Kenyon

I just was so moved by this poem and wanted to share it with all of you. Especially since it helps to remind us to live in the present moment.

Peace to all.

Shannon