It’s That Time of Year for “Happy Holiday’s” and New Year’s Resolutions.*

Well, the holidays are upon us and all around are the sights and sounds of hustle and bustle. Many will purchase exciting gifts for loved ones and others will plan to attend parties to spread joy. Unfortunately, some people may not recognize this time of year as joyful, and struggle through it with tears and pain…*

I just would like for all of us this time of year to practice acceptance if and when we encounter a “scrooge” during our holiday season. A friend of mine mentioned to me that she was shopping, and while standing in line, met a stranger who shared that they didn’t like this time of year at all. Immediately she replied to the stranger, “why not, but it is Christmas time”. While my friend was just trying to be friendly and wanted to see this stranger enjoy this time, she forgot one vital piece of information….acceptance for others.

I have come to respect that this time of year can be a struggle and painful time for some, and I no longer try to cheer them up. I accept that I do not know what experiences a person may have lived that brought them to a place of sorrow during a holiday season. So when I encounter a person that is less then happy to see a holiday season come upon us, I accept their thoughts and inside my mind, I hope for some joy or peace in their life at this time. So the next time you encounter a “scrooge”, then consider spreading some peace to them by simply smiling and inside hoping joy for them…*

This is also a time of year for New Year’s resolutions. Many people will create lists of desired hopes and dreams that they want to accomplish or experience in the upcoming new year. I want to just remind everyone of turtle steps while creating New Year’s resolutions. Turtle steps will allow for a much higher success rate of achieving and reaching your goal, as opposed to entering the month of February and realizing you just can’t stick with it and fall flat on your face. Creating turtle steps is easy. You just take a resolution and then cut it in half. Then cut it in half again…and again. Keep doing this until you feel in your mind, and body, that you can do that for sure.

For example, one resolution a relative of mine has is to quit smoking. A challenging task indeed. She smokes about 1 pack a day and her resolution was to quit completely. So I asked her to try this turtle step technique and she cut her goal in half (i.e. cut down to ½ pack a day). Then she cut it down again and again, until she reached smoking one less cigarette a day. That felt much more achievable then quitting all together suddenly. Thus, try taking turtle steps to help easily reach your New Year’s resolutions.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

We Often Put Ourselves in Other People’s Shoes, But Beware of Placing Others in Your’s.*

A very popular phrase, and mental practice we bestow upon ourselves, is “Put yourself in their shoes”. When we put ourselves in other people’s shoes, it often leads to compassion and kindness. For example, when we hear of someone we know who has a death in their family, we often think about losing one ourselves and then feel that pain and sadness temporarily. That emotional experience then often leads to a kind gesture or action. In the form of a phone call, or in the case of a death, a sympathy card, or visit to a funeral home. In some cases, a person may also find that they would handle a situation differently, and in that case you learn about yourself.

However, beware of occasions where you might imagine having someone in your shoe’s, if you feel someone’s actions are disappointing you. If you are struggling with something, and feel the urge to wonder how someone else would handle a situation you are struggling with, try not to. When in this frame of mind, chances are you are judging someone else. In most cases, when we go there and think to ourselves that someone else would handle something the same as we were, then that can lead to disappointment and further judging. For example, “I lost loved one and Ann hasn’t contacted me or said sorry to hear. What if she lost a loved one and I didn’t contact her?” Try to catch yourself doing this and then try one of two things. Either let it go, or think of another more positive reason someone has not contacted you…*

Some may believe that asking someone to put the shoe on their foot, may lead to compassion or understanding. However, this too is very risky. In some occasional situations, the other person may see your point and agree with you. However, in many cases, a person may get defensive and try to deny or defend how they are handling it. This is partly because in a way, we are asking them to experience our pain or to face something they did wrong. Many people aren’t very welcoming of when someone tries to get them to experience difficult situations. Their defense mechanisms most likely kick in and they instantly try to avoid the negative experience being presented to them.

Placing yourself in someone else’s shoes can lead to compassion, but be cautious of wanting someone else to be placed in your’s.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.