Optimize Your Self-Image

Change a Room in Your Home, and Watch Your Life Change.*

2010-01-18T21:02:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend of mine was complaining about her bathroom. She told me that her pipes were obviously clogged up since the water would take several minutes to drain. Another complaint she had was the paint color of the walls. They were too dull and boring for her to enjoy. She pretty much despised her bathroom. This went on for months.

So I then asked her to take those same descriptions of her bathroom and apply them to her life, or a part of her life she felt was not satisfying. So she did. Her first thought was, “my life feels clogged”, and that hit home for her regarding her love life. Her current relationship was not running smoothly and she wanted to try to figure out a way to enjoy it more…*

Then she thought about the other descriptions and thought, “my life is too dull and boring”. That hit her hard. There were parts of her life that felt dull and boring. Specifically her social life. So I suggested that she fix and revamp her bathroom to reflect how she would like for it to be. She agreed to call her uncle who would come snake out her pipes, and go get some new paint colors for her walls. Then away she went. I also mentioned to her to keep in mind how this also is symbolic of the changes she wants to make in her life.

About three weeks later, my friend called me up and was ecstatic. She first told me how she did revamp her bathroom and how she now loved it. Her pipes were free flowing and the colors on the walls were much brighter. She smiled every time she walked into her bathroom as a result…*
Then she told me how her life had also changed in a couple ways. Having changed her bathroom gave her a sense of empowerment. Just as she called her uncle to come fix her pipes, she had decided to call her cousin, who is a relationship therapist, and asked for some guidance with her relationship. Her cousin suggested one change and that helped to improve her communication with her boyfriend. Having found a sense of inspiration, my friend also called up an old pal of hers and they have been going out on a regular basis, having a blast, improving her social life.

So, if you have a room in your home that leaves you feeling unhappy, consider fixing it up and watch your life brighten as a result.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

A New Decade is Upon Us…May It Bring Persistence of Hope.*

2010-01-03T14:42:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about you, but I still cannot believe it is the year 2010. Where does the time go?
I remember when the calendar turned 2000 and the clocks rang in that New Year. Many were hopeful for a new millennium, with dreams to be lived and goals to be reached. However, as most of us know, the past decade has had its share of challenging times, with some structures weakening and others collapsing.

So many are struggling with unemployment and making ends meet. Others anticipate losing their job and struggle with, “what then” thoughts…*

My hope is that for this new year…this new decade, everyone chooses to be persistent when it comes to hope. Whether you set some New Year’s resolutions, or not, one goal I would ask all of you to have is to be persistent when it comes to hope. Hope can be applied to anything. For example, hope for continued employment, or new employment. Hope for a relationship to continue, or for a new one to begin. Hope for health and happy living. Hope for peace…*

One exercise that can help you to be persistent with hope is the Narrating Your Story tool. All you need to do is find a few minutes where you can be alone with no interruptions. Take either a piece of paper and pen, or a handy laptop with a word document. Title your document, “My present story”, and then proceed to write down what is going on in your life. Try to write for at least ten minutes, or four to five paragraphs. Then when you finish, write a new title, “My hopeful story”, and then write down how you hope your story will play out and/or end.

If you are struggling with something very painful or stressful, just hoping for a little hope is enough to help. If you find you can’t muster up the energy to write something hopeful, then just hope for hope itself. Maybe something then will come to you. If not, then for just that split second moment, you hoped for hope.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

It’s That Time of Year for “Happy Holiday’s” and New Year’s Resolutions.*

2009-12-20T08:19:00.000-08:00

Well, the holidays are upon us and all around are the sights and sounds of hustle and bustle. Many will purchase exciting gifts for loved ones and others will plan to attend parties to spread joy. Unfortunately, some people may not recognize this time of year as joyful, and struggle through it with tears and pain…*

I just would like for all of us this time of year to practice acceptance if and when we encounter a “scrooge” during our holiday season. A friend of mine mentioned to me that she was shopping, and while standing in line, met a stranger who shared that they didn’t like this time of year at all. Immediately she replied to the stranger, “why not, but it is Christmas time”. While my friend was just trying to be friendly and wanted to see this stranger enjoy this time, she forgot one vital piece of information….acceptance for others.

I have come to respect that this time of year can be a struggle and painful time for some, and I no longer try to cheer them up. I accept that I do not know what experiences a person may have lived that brought them to a place of sorrow during a holiday season. So when I encounter a person that is less then happy to see a holiday season come upon us, I accept their thoughts and inside my mind, I hope for some joy or peace in their life at this time. So the next time you encounter a “scrooge”, then consider spreading some peace to them by simply smiling and inside hoping joy for them…*

This is also a time of year for New Year’s resolutions. Many people will create lists of desired hopes and dreams that they want to accomplish or experience in the upcoming new year. I want to just remind everyone of turtle steps while creating New Year’s resolutions. Turtle steps will allow for a much higher success rate of achieving and reaching your goal, as opposed to entering the month of February and realizing you just can’t stick with it and fall flat on your face. Creating turtle steps is easy. You just take a resolution and then cut it in half. Then cut it in half again…and again. Keep doing this until you feel in your mind, and body, that you can do that for sure.

For example, one resolution a relative of mine has is to quit smoking. A challenging task indeed. She smokes about 1 pack a day and her resolution was to quit completely. So I asked her to try this turtle step technique and she cut her goal in half (i.e. cut down to ½ pack a day). Then she cut it down again and again, until she reached smoking one less cigarette a day. That felt much more achievable then quitting all together suddenly. Thus, try taking turtle steps to help easily reach your New Year’s resolutions.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

We Often Put Ourselves in Other People’s Shoes, But Beware of Placing Others in Your’s.*

2009-12-07T06:41:00.000-08:00

A very popular phrase, and mental practice we bestow upon ourselves, is “Put yourself in their shoes”. When we put ourselves in other people’s shoes, it often leads to compassion and kindness. For example, when we hear of someone we know who has a death in their family, we often think about losing one ourselves and then feel that pain and sadness temporarily. That emotional experience then often leads to a kind gesture or action. In the form of a phone call, or in the case of a death, a sympathy card, or visit to a funeral home. In some cases, a person may also find that they would handle a situation differently, and in that case you learn about yourself.

However, beware of occasions where you might imagine having someone in your shoe’s, if you feel someone’s actions are disappointing you. If you are struggling with something, and feel the urge to wonder how someone else would handle a situation you are struggling with, try not to. When in this frame of mind, chances are you are judging someone else. In most cases, when we go there and think to ourselves that someone else would handle something the same as we were, then that can lead to disappointment and further judging. For example, “I lost loved one and Ann hasn’t contacted me or said sorry to hear. What if she lost a loved one and I didn’t contact her?” Try to catch yourself doing this and then try one of two things. Either let it go, or think of another more positive reason someone has not contacted you…*

Some may believe that asking someone to put the shoe on their foot, may lead to compassion or understanding. However, this too is very risky. In some occasional situations, the other person may see your point and agree with you. However, in many cases, a person may get defensive and try to deny or defend how they are handling it. This is partly because in a way, we are asking them to experience our pain or to face something they did wrong. Many people aren’t very welcoming of when someone tries to get them to experience difficult situations. Their defense mechanisms most likely kick in and they instantly try to avoid the negative experience being presented to them.

Placing yourself in someone else’s shoes can lead to compassion, but be cautious of wanting someone else to be placed in your’s.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

The Power of Negative and Positive Thoughts….Where Does Your Power Lie? *

2009-09-11T15:01:00.000-07:00

I was recently skimming over the CNN news highlights and some of them read, “Bad hurricanes forecast, but few ready”, “Woman in iron lung dies after power failure”,
and “Do You Hate Your Commute Too?”

Now, as you read each of those statements, how do you feel? If you had to label each as a positive or negative news story, which would each be? As I read them, I realized that each of them was negative in nature. My initial responses to each of the statements were, “Yikes”, “Very sad”, and “Heck yah I hate it”. Many of you may be able to relate to those responses, and if you do, I want to point something out to you. Something that had occurred to me as I realized my own reaction to them. My thoughts about those stories left me feeling worried, sad, and frustrated. I then noticed how my thoughts continued to think of other negative thoughts about my own life and experiences. For example, I thought about a storm I had seen years ago that left me feeling as if I were in a re-make of The Wizard of Oz, the tornado scene. Then I thought about the day I had a very bad commute into work, as if I had been transported onto the streets of downtown New York. This went on for several minutes, until I realized how I was giving more power to my negative thoughts and disregarding any positive thoughts.

Negative thoughts can be useful and have a purpose in the sense that they indicate how you are feeling at any given moment. Once someone realizes that, “hey, I have been feeling frustrated or stressed”, then they can use that as a signal to
acknowledge what they are feeling and then ideally let it go…..*

…..*

Finally, a very effective question to ask yourself the next time you experience a negative thought is, “Is it the negative thought that is really upsetting me, or is it the power I am giving the negative thought that is upsetting me?” Once you figure out the answer, you will begin to free yourself from your negative thoughts, and then you can choose to focus on more positive thoughts.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

”Actions speak louder then words”…but being true to one’s self is to have our actions match our words. *

2009-08-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

I can’t tell you how many times I heard this phrase, and believed it to be true. It seemed to make sense. I mean, in most cases, it is easier to say things then to actually do them. Or when we go to do them, we realize they are not as easy to do as we thought, so we don’t do them.

In recent years, I have come to learn that I feel most true to myself when my actions actually match my words. Not that they necessarily have to speak louder then them. In the past, I will admit that there were times when I would say something to someone, or commit to something, when I knew there was a very good chance I would not be able to actually do so. In those cases, my actions didn’t match my words and that caused some internal conflict….*

Another instance where conflict is created is when someone says things that can’t possibly be true. For example, a friend of mine was in a long distance relationship and one thing that her partner said to her was that he wanted to physically be with her every day. Yet his actions could not possibly match that as he was thousands of miles away. While the thought seemed nice, eventually it became disheartening for my friend to repeatedly hear one thing, but see and feel another….*

I would like for each of you to take time this week and try to be aware of your actions versus your words. Be aware if you are saying one thing, but your actions are doing another. If so, is there any pattern or trend you notice? Then, if you do identify instances where your actions do not meet your words, try to get them to match up. In some cases, you will find that changing your actions to meet your words is the answer. In other cases, you will find that changing your words to match your actions is what is needed to bring peace and balance back into your life.

A very important point to also keep in mind when changing your words to meet your actions is the use of the word (i.e. thought), “I can’t”. In rare and unusually circumstances, it may be true when a person cannot do something. But in most cases, a truer statement is that you “choose not to” do something.

* - Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Loving Someone, Being In-Love, and Love…Just as is. *

2009-08-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

Love….is perhaps one of the most passionate and nurturing emotions possessed by humans and other creatures alike. An emotion most yearn for, and many receive.

Over the years, I have heard many people mention such phrases as “I love him”, or “I am in-love with her.” Several people I know believe that loving someone and being in-love with someone are two different types of love. I thought this was an intriguing belief so I decided to give it much thought. I also decided to ask a handful of people the difference, for them, between loving someone and being in-love with someone….*

The response I received, unanimously, was that loving someone meant in a deeply caring way for a relative, or very close and dear friend. Being in-love with someone was tied to romantic feelings for someone such as a partner, or spouse. I also thought more about it and realized that loving someone comes with conditions. We can love someone but still get irritated with some of their unusual habits. However, when we are in-love with someone, we tend to be a bit more unconditional and put on blinders to some less desirable habits they may possess. We also may find simple things about them very wonderful and intriguing. As if magnifying some of their attributes.

Personally, I believe that love just can be as simple as caring for any other. In some ways, I believe we are love. Underneath all the layers of other emotions and feelings, lies love….*

What I would like each of you to do is experience love, just as it is. Regardless of the types of love you have defined for yourself in relation to others. Take a moment and just relax and sit with the word “love”. Feel what love means to you within yourself. Most importantly, notice the love you have for yourself.

Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Sail Into Summer by Steering Clear of the Three W’s….That Can Cause Mental Storms*

2009-07-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go? Summer time 2009 is here and many are planting colorful flowers, buying suntan lotion, revving up the barbeques and dodging bumble bees.

Summer time can also mean hot steamy temperatures and occasional thunderstorms. However, dear mother nature isn’t the only one that produces storms. Sometimes, we humans have what I refer to as “mental storms”. By mental storms, I mean negative and stressful thought patterns that can take over our minds and continue to grow in strength as they move about in our heads. Many of these mental storm systems are brought on by, what I call, the three W’s…..worry, waiting, and wondering.

Worry can be an effective incoming “front”, causing mental storms. Many people worry about something from the past, or anticipate something in the future. ….*
Waiting is also damaging and keeps your life “on hold”. Many people seem to be waiting their whole lives in anticipation of future events. ….*
The last “W” is wonder. Now some of you may being thinking “I thought wonder was a good emotion to have”, and it can be. For instance, if you are wondering about something positive, then that can be a fine type of wonder. However, many people wonder about negative things. For example, wondering about what would happen if you lost your job, or a loved one fell ill. ….*

Often these three W’s can work together and feed off each other, causing a sort of mental typhoon in your head. However, there are steps you can take (e.g. Using Your Doppler Radar and Clear Skies Collage) to avoid stirring up these mental storms and just sail through this summer like a fresh breeze. ….*

So the next time you find yourself worrying, waiting, or wondering…try to relax those thoughts so that they don’t turn into thunderous mental storms.

Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Celebrating Our Independence While Acknowledging Our Connections. *

2009-07-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend found millions celebrating Independence Day (AKA: the 4th of July) with barbecues, friends and family gatherings, and boisterous fireworks. The 4th of July marks a day in U.S. history in which independence was declared from Great Britain.

While this is truly a victorious day in our history, I do want to take the time to also acknowledge the connection that exists within our countries and our world. Perhaps years ago, many found that being separate and independent was the most important state to be in. Having a sense of independence is a wonderful gift, however, and now more then ever in these tough economic times, a sense of connection and oneness is crucial.

I found that this year was the first year in which I felt more of a connection with other countries, versus celebrating our independence from another country…*

When was the last time you felt a sense of connection, or oneness, with another person or another thing? A sense that leaves you feeling bliss, euphoric, passionate, and whole. A connection that cannot be described in the thousands of words found in the Webster

Dictionary…*

If you have not felt this sense in a very long while, if at all, please take the time this week to experience such a connection. One way to do this is to either shake hands or hug someone you know and care for. When doing so, clear your mind of thoughts that may intrude that moment you are sharing with this other person. Just appreciate that brief moment, realizing that there is a special sense of connection being shared.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Experiencing our Inner-Father during Father’s Day Weekend. *

2009-06-22T13:38:00.001-07:00

For many people, this weekend is one in which we celebrate fatherhood. A day that has been acknowledged in the U.S. since 1909. Believe it or not, the national celebration of Father’s Day almost remained a myth. When it was introduced, many chuckled at it and thought it to be more of a satire and parody. However, in the 1960’s, it became a national holiday, just like Mother’s Day (Source: http://www.history.com/content/fathersday).

As many of you may recall, a prior newsletter discussed having an Inner-Mother. Well as you can imagine, we also possess an Inner-Father. An inner guide that helps us to build up our self-esteem and sense of security and safety.

Some people may have very loving and supportive fathers. Others may have lost their fathers, while many may never known their fathers. Regardless of your situation, we all have an Inner-Father. There are many ways that an inner-father can be accessed…*

One way is to sit down and take a piece of paper and pen (or pencil). Make two columns and write “Self” on the top of one column, and “Inner-Father” on the other. Then in the “Self” column, write some traits that you have that you feel you would like to change. Try to list four to five of them. Then go to the “Inner-Father” column and feel within a sense of an Inner-Father. Answers may come into your consciousness.

Another way to access your Inner-Father is to simply close your eyes and relax your mind and body. Give yourself at least five minutes to do this. Then imagine reaching out and communicating with your Inner-Father. For example, you may say to yourself, “Inner-Father, please help heal me” or “Guide me through this time”…*

Finding a little time to explore and experience your Inner-Father can help you to become more self-confident and feel a sense of wholeness.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Being Authentic and Not Everyone Else’s Puppet. *

2009-06-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have had a couple people mention something they are struggling with, and so I thought I would share their struggle, and my coaching tip, with all of you.

This struggle that two acquaintances shared with me had to do with being authentic toward themselves and others. They simple said that they often say “yes” to other people, when they really want to say “no”. But they fear that saying “no” will lead to hurt feelings and even long-term rejection. I bet most of you can relate to their struggle. How many times have you thought, “oh man, I really don’t want to go but I said yes”? Too many times? Well, I have a couple points to bring to your attention that may help you to try to stay true to your deep desire, and live a more peaceful life.

The first point has to do with self-regret. When you say “yes” to something that you really want to say “no” too, then you put yourself in a position where you may have much self-regret. Self-regret is more difficult to overcome emotionally then regret for another person. If that someone who you are saying “no” to is a true friend, or close relative, then they will accept your answer….*

The second point I want to make you aware of is about the power you are giving up. If you say “yes” to someone and “no” to yourself, then you are giving someone else total power over your decisions and outcome. This leaves you in a position where you could lose out two-fold. For one, if you end up not having a good time, then a part of you may be upset with the person who asked you to participate. Second, another part of you may be upset at yourself for having caved in and agreed to something you originally didn’t want to do. An internal “I told you so” scenario, which is very uncomfortable and down-right frustrating. However, if you do what is true to you (e.g. say “no” when you want to), then you can only lose one-fold (wait…is that even a word?...oh well you know what I mean)….*

So, the next time you are faced with a question or decision that has you saying “yes”, when you really want to say “no”, please recall these two points and consider being true to you. Your life will become more fulfilling and peaceful.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Memorial Day’s Red Poppies and realizing your inner-peace. *

2009-05-24T18:38:00.000-07:00

This weekend represents a very historic time for hundreds of thousands of service men and women. From those who served time, to all their loved ones who eagerly hoped and waited for their safe return home.

Another inspiration that many are unaware of is the Red Poppy. A woman named Moina Michael started a tradition where she wore red poppies to honor those who died serving our nation during the war (Source: http://www.usmemorialday.org/
/backgrnd.html). Ms. Michael sold poppies to many of her friends and family, and in turn gave that money to benefit service men and women in need….*

For me, red poppies are now a sign of peace. The land that they now occupy, is ironically some of the same land that once was witness to some of our deadliest wars. The beauty of seeing hundreds of red petals blowing in a light breeze and sending out their delicate and delightful scent, brings a sense of peace….*

I would like for all of you to go to a local florist, landscape store, or even an online store, and buy yourself some red poppies. Then every day, as you admire and care for your new floral friends, realize and sense the peace that they bring to you and your environment. Lean in and slowly smell their gifted scent; that which goes directly to your brain’s internal pleasure-boat. For you, at that moment, there will be inner-peace. Feel free to do this several times a day to help bring more peace to your busy lifestyle.

I will leave you with a short poem that Ms. Michael wrote:

We cherish too, the Poppy redThat grows on fields where valor led,It seems to signal to the skiesThat blood of heroes never dies.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Confidence...The Very Thing Self-Trust Is Made Of. *

2009-04-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I found that in the past couple of weeks, a common theme kept popping up on my radar that inspired me to write an article about it. The topic of Confidence.

I have seen may definitions of confidence, from “feeling assurance”, to “having faith in a person.” However, one recent definition I never heard before really struck me and became branded in my mind. That definition was, “having trust in one’s abilities”.

Now, I ask you to think about that for a moment. When I heard that definition, I realized that many people I know may have much less confidence then they are aware of. Do you trust your abilities? Are there things about you that you don’t trust? Some people don’t trust such things as their ability to remember, while others don’t trust their actions or reactions in certain situations….*

I recently was with someone who almost didn’t go to a fun event because they did not trust their own abilities in making a responsible decision. I knew that this person believed that there was a side of them they didn’t trust. I asked him when was the last time he tried to trust himself in this situation, and he said weeks. So I mentioned to him that he could focus on breaking up the event into small and simple steps.

The first step was to trust himself and his abilities. To sit with that trust within for a moment. Then the second step was to travel to the event. I asked him to take a moment to check himself for self-trust, after the second step. If he felt a strong sense of mistrust, then he could leave. But if he felt he still trusted himself, then he could continue to the third step, which was to sit down and greet friends at the event. After every step, I asked him to internally check himself. This seemed to help him tremendously with his ability to be more aware of his actions and gain some self-trust. He felt much more in control of his abilities and enjoyed himself at the event….*

So if there is an area in your life that you feel low confidence, or self-trust in your abilities, then try breaking down the situation in small steps and checking in periodically for self-trust. Over time you will begin to trust yourself again and build your confidence.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Easter Time and Finding Your Inner Hidden Easter Eggs*

2009-04-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

How about that….for many, it is Easter today. Some people will be visiting family, coloring hard-boiled eggs with bright and vibrant colors, and receiving a beautiful basket filled with candy, jelly beans, and of course a big old chocolate bunny. Many kids, young and old, will be hiding Easter eggs and searching for them. I remember as a young girl looking for Easter eggs at my grandmother’s house. I felt so excited when I saw a hint of a bright yellow, or vibrant blue egg, nestled in the grass or a couch cushion. Some of the eggs were hard and delicious to eat. While others were made of plastic and when popped open, revealed a yummy treat.

As a coach, I realized that finding bright Easter eggs filled with surprises was much like finding a new passion. Coming across a new idea or thought that seemed exciting and fun, made me feel all giddy inside, much like when I opened a plastic Easter egg. And some of those ideas and thoughts have blossomed into new, wonderful, and even life- long hobbies and passions….*

In the spirit of Easter today, I would like to ask all of you to take a moment to search for some new hidden passions to explore and invite into your life. Take some small pieces of paper and write down a couple (preferably more) ideas or passions you have thought up, or come across. Write each down on a small sheet and fold them up. Place each in a colorful plastic Easter egg. Have someone hide them for you, or if you live alone, place them in creative locations you will come across them. The following day, look for and find the eggs. Open each and see what idea or passion you reveal.

Next, take one small step to reaching, or researching that idea. Pay close attention to your body’s response to this step. In most cases, you will experience some excitement and that will lead to another step. Now, some people may find that their body is not enthusiastically responding to the idea or passion. In those cases, the road to that idea or passion may be done, and the next idea or passion can be pursued….*

However, in most cases, these little and fun steps can lead to a new life-long and fulfilling hobby or passion.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

”Been There, Done That, Yah Hoo”…the Importance of Accomplishment. *

2009-03-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

This is it people….this newsletter is about to start in motion a journey for you that may delight you, encourage you, or scare you to death…..or at least make you pee in your pants. I am going to ask you to get up, get out there, and accomplish an old raggedy and dusted goal you have put off for years.

Come on, you can do it. We all have heard that old cliche, “There is no time like the present”. Don’t wait for one of those moments where you hear the passing of a loved one, or a devastating illness to remind you of the importance of the present moment and accomplishing your goals and dreams. The reality of life is that none of us know when or where we will move on to another way of living. For example, recently I accomplished a goal and dream that I had set years ago. When I was a little girl and watched my first Oscar award show, I had dreamt of being an actress. Yet years would pass, and a mountain of dust would accumulate, before I would actually take action.

So this year I decided to go for it. As a life coach, I have the mentality of “living it to give it”. I heard from a friend that I could sign up for a local acting workshop with an experienced actress. The workshop met once a week and ran for four fun weeks. You didn’t need experience, which worked particularly well for me since I had absolutely no experience at all. The only experience I had was the occasional daydream of starring in a role opposite an admired actor I cherished….or one I just thought was really hot….*

I eagerly signed up, got butterflies in my tummy and waited for the first class to start. To make a great story short….I LOVED IT. During one of the classes, our teacher said “all of you actors will experience….”. OK…at that moment I was actually called an actor. I looked around to see who she was referring too and realized that she meant all of us, including me. I also realized then that I didn’t need to have a starring role in an Oscar nominated movie, or be a regular in some sitcom, to be considered an actor. What a cool realization!!

I also experienced a sense of accomplishment. Some of the other students had not completed the class, but a handful of us had….*

I would like to ask each of you to think of an old dream or goal you had years ago as a child, that you didn’t act on. Then take a simple step, or two, and accomplish that goal. You can do it…finish it and enjoy that sense of accomplishment that results.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

"Spring" into Spring with a Vision Board*

2009-03-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

Finally it is that wonderful time of year that, for many of us, several things begin to blossom and grow. Eager buds start to form on robust tree branches, flowers begin to flourish, geese begin to head back north, and countless winter blue moods start to dissolve with warm smiles. Many people are finally able to step outside and take in a breath of fresh air without risking hypothermia. Ah yes….Spring is in the air.

This is also an excellent time of year to create an exciting Vision Board, inviting in your ultimate dreams and desires. However, BEWARE! When you do create a vision board, please realize that whatever you place on your board will in fact come true for you….*

Vision Boards have been around for years, and the concept was popularized when a book called, The Secret, was published. Vision Boards are very simple, yet extremely powerful. Now, normally I usually explain to all of you my experiences with certain challenges and then I share how I was able to deal with them. However, in this case, I have not yet done a vision board, so I will be creating one at the very same time as all of you…..in the next couple of weeks.…*

The most popular and easy way to create a vision board is to do the following steps:
1) Get a poster board (or a piece of construction paper to go on your fridge).
2) Get a few magazines (walk through a bookstore or pharmacy and see which magazines you are drawn to most-see if you are drawn to different types).
3) Get glue (or tape if you prefer).
4) Sit for a moment and clear your mind so that your dreams and desires can surface.
5) Go through the magazines and cut out pictures and phrases that just feel wonderful and right to you. It can be something you love or wish for.
6) Glue each picture/phrase onto your board and put it up in a place you will see often.
Please feel free to also list or write anything you want on your board. That’s it.

So, let’s do this together! Please take the next couple of weeks and create your vision board, as will I. Then, get this, I plan to write an updated article in the next couple of months to share how my life has been going in relation to my vision board. I would also LOVE for any of you to share any experiences or stories you have happen as a result of your vision board. Just shoot me an email as I would love to hear from you.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Dance Your Way to a Happier Mood*

2009-03-01T19:59:00.000-08:00

That is right folks, you can now dance your way to a happier mood. Shocker? Maybe for some of you, but others may not be as surprised. I will admit that up until a couple months ago, I had not danced in years, except for the occasional wedding reception, when a relative or friend of mine walked down the aisle and changed their name. And every time I was dancing, I always wondered why I had waited so long to do so.

When is the last time you took time to dance? And I don’t mean taking a dance class or even dancing at a wedding. While those occasions are fantastic opportunities, they also happen probably much less frequent then a solar eclipse. I am talking about just dancing alone at home. When is the last time you just put on a song and just let your body go? The last time you felt the music and just wiggled and jiggled, or waltzed across the room with that imaginary attractive partner? ….*

If you have not done this in days, months, or even years, please take the time in the next few days to do so. Find a song you love and just feel the music and let your body go. Even if you don’t hear or sense the rhythm of the song, you can still just let your body guide you by trusting it completely. Dancing is a form of exercise and the super duper thing about that is the release of endorphins. Endorphins are released in the brain and cause a reduction in pain and an increase in euphoria. And who couldn’t use some endorphins at this time of year, when many are dealing with winter blues….*

Now, if you are in need of a song, or would like to learn some dance steps, then I encourage you to venture to You Tube. There you can find a plethora of songs and dance moves that will help you to get into the groove and improve your mood. And heck, for those of you who would like to shed a pound, or two, or thirty, you may do just that in the process.

So I challenge each of you to find a couple minutes tomorrow and get up and dance to a favorite tune. Your body will be grateful that you allowed it to express itself, and in return will release those handy dandy endorphins that will brighten your day.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Hollywood's Biggest Night...the Oscars...and Many Viewers Confronted With Unfulfilled Dreams

2009-02-22T07:35:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,

Well, tonight is Hollywood's biggest night....the Oscars. Several celebrities will spend their day primping, preparing, and of course dressing for a night of glitz, glamour, and celebration. Some people will wake up wondering...will Kate Winslet win the gold or two golds....and will Angelina Jolie wear Oscar de la Renta or Versace?

This night will also bring millions of viewers worldwide to witness Hollywood's mirage moment of 2008 film accomplishments. Many of these viewers will watch with eager anticipation to see if their favorite actors and films will take the gold. Others viewers will watch with a deep sense of yearning, or even disappointment, as the award shows act as a reminder that they have not yet fulfilled a deep seated dream or desire they hold within their soul.

Once again, I can relate....can you? While you watch the Oscars, do you find yourself wishing it were you on the red carpet being interviewed by Entertainment Tonight's Rep regarding your academy nomination? Do you daydream that you are nominated for your work in front of the camera (e.g. actor), or perhaps behind the camera (e.g. directing, screenplay, art direction)?

Regardless of what kind of viewer you are, I want to point out a priceless fact that will help you to keep this night in a realistic, and more enjoyable perspective. I also want to challenge those of you who feel a sense of yearning, to entertain (no pun intended) a simple course of action that just may put you smack dab in the middle of the red carpet some day.

The priceless fact that I love to recall during moments of heightened popularity, is a simple scientific one; WE ARE 99.90% THE SAME. Yep, that is right folks. Scientists will confirm that as human beings, we are actually 99.90% the same. It is the .01% that distinguishes us from one another. Oh, how our eyes deceive us of this simple yet profound fact. So, when you are watching Brad Pitt or Penelope Cruz walk down the red carpet, just take a quick moment (or a long one) and smile knowing that in reality, you share 99.9% the same make-up as they do. Even if your eyes tell you that you are from two different worlds.

The challenge that I want to present to many of you who feel a sense of yearning, is a simple one. Take a turtle step or two, tonight if possible while watching the Oscars, and list those awards that sound interesting to you. Whether that be best actor, director, or editing. Then take just a little time, in the next week or two, and research each of those career paths. If you are feeling really inspired, sign up for a nearby acting workshop or an Intro to Film course. Just taking simple steps can start to pave a road for you that just might lead you to a red carpet. For others it may confirm that a future in the entertainment industry is not their true path after all, which will then quite the yearning voice that haunts you every time you are faced with an award show that leaves you feeling a sense of "what if".

So, for those of you who will be tuning in to the Oscars tonight....enjoy the show from these new perspectives, and who knows....you just might be the one on the big screen some day being watched by millions of viewers, accepting a golden award, and forgetting to thank those you meant too.

Cyber hugs,

Shannon

Valentine’s Day and Being Your Own Greatest Valentine. *

2009-02-16T05:40:00.000-08:00

Well, low and behold this weekend included a special day in which love is widely recognized and celebrated, with a plethora of poetic greeting cards, beautiful red and pink flowers, and heart-shaped boxes filled with delectable chocolates. Some people call this a “Hallmark Holiday”, however there is quite a history to this day we call Valentine’s Day.

For example, there were several Saints named Valentine, who were martyrs to many but none of which associated the day with love or romance. It is documented that during the middle ages, it became associated with romance during a time of courtly love and the works of Geoffrey Chaucer, among others.

Another example is the well known Greek mythological god, Cupid. The legend of Cupid is rather fascinating with a version that deems cupid as the son of Venus (the goddess of love) and Mars (the god of war). In any case, clearly Valentine’s Day for many is much more then a mere Hallmark Holiday. It is a day filled with rich past history.

Traditionally, in the west anyway, Valentine’s Day is celebrated and shared by couples and lovers in the forms of romantic dinners and gift exchanges. Many restaurants will be packing in tables mostly in even increments (i.e. couples), with a majority of the requests for “two”. While this can be an enjoyable and satisfying custom, I love to point out that you are your own best Valentine!

When we look forward too, or even expect, someone else to shower us with Valentine greetings, gifts, and plans, we are also setting ourselves up for disappointment, and dare I say a little heartache….*

I would like recommend that every Valentine’s Day, you give yourself a special Valentine gift. Whether that be in the form of sending yourself a Valentine greeting card or buying a yummy box of chocolates wedged in a heart-shaped box. That way, you will most certainly enjoy this special day filled with love. Regardless if you are in a relationship or not, regardless of whether someone else celebrates it with you….*

Self-love is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give to ourselves, and one in which can be expressed and celebrated on Valentine’s Day.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

The Super Bowl, Friends, and the Power of Eye Contact

2009-02-01T22:25:00.000-08:00

This weekend was Super Bowl XLIII. Now, if you’re like me, you either missed school the day they taught Roman numerals or just can’t recall what the heck XLIII represents. So let me translate (and thank you Google)…..this weekend was Super Bowl 43.

Many people gather during the Super Bowl to visit and watch one of the most important night’s in football. I was fortunate enough to be invited to a friend’s home to visit, as well as root for my favorite underdog team.

Some of my friends I had not seen in years, and it was great to reconnect and catch up. I realized that during most of the game, many of us were not even paying much attention to the game and in fact were enjoying talking and sharing old time stories that still gave us a good laugh as if they happened yesterday.

One thing that I made a point to do was to make eye contact with nearly every friend, especially when they were talking to me. I looked into their eyes and really listened to what they were saying and sharing with me. As a result, I felt a special quality about our conversations and felt more of a connection then in the past. I also realized how similar we all really are in so many ways. We share similar ups and downs, and joys and challenges. Time had flown by and I was surprised when the clocks had reached an hour in which we had to logically leave. This was a pleasurable night that I would not forget….*

This gathering reminded me of how important something simple as having eye contact with another person you are conversing with really is. The quality of the conversation is heightened and a special connection is made. Common ground is found and a kinship is realized.…*

So the next time you are with family or friends, try to be aware of your eye contact when you are engaged with them. A simple conversation may just turn into a memorable connection.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Barack Obama and his Presidential Pledge

2009-01-19T15:06:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone,

HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY!!!

Today the United States celebrates the birthday of one of its historic icons, Martin Luther King Jr. Many people come together to help volunteer and improve their communities in some way. A very special day indeed.

Here is a wonderful quote by a man I more then admire:

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tomorrow will be a day that Doctor King is inevitably very proud of. An inspiring day that will be witnessed and experienced by so many people around the world. The United States will swear in Barack Obama as their next president. I am more then proud to be experiencing this moment in my lifetime.

Today I saw a program that announced how Barack Obama is going to have a Presidential Pledge. This pledge will enable everyone to participate in a way that will encourage positive change in their lives and communities. A video was created by some celebrities to introduce this pledge and I would like for all of you to look for this video on either YouTube or on Oprah's website, as it will be coming soon.

I knew nearly immediately what my pledge would be and it is below:

I pledge to spread peace, by bringing peace into every interaction and encounter that I have.

Please think of what your pledge will be, and thank you for making the world a better place as a result.

Peace to all,

Shannon

Practicing being Transparent can bring more Peace to your Life

2009-01-18T21:10:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend of mine had struggled with something that I felt was beneficial to share with many of you as you may be able to relate. This friend of mine spent a weekend with some relatives, where there happened to be a toddler staying. This toddler at times would get very excited and ran around and scream loudly. Every time the scream occurred, my friend would cringe inside and out. She wanted to say something, but was afraid to offend the toddler’s parents.

Many of us can relate and have heard a toddler’s vocal abilities, reaching decibels we swear are high enough to do permanent eardrum damage. There is an exercise that I would like to share with all of you that will help you to relieve any loud and un-welcomed sound you may experience. This exercise also can help bring a little peace into your situation and moment....*

All that you need to try to do is imagine that you are transparent when a sound is negatively effecting you. Specifically imagine that the sound goes through you, as opposed to you being a brick wall of resistance that the sound is hitting up against. When you envision the sound going through you, you may notice a weakening of the resistance that you were experiencing when the sound began to irritate you. In most cases, resistance can strengthen a negative experience. When we no longer resist, we become more accepting and more at peace with what is at that moment. When a sound bothers us, a couple things are going on within our bodies. The first is that we are hearing the sound through the gift of our ears abilities. Second, our mind’s then processes the sound and labels it as either a pleasant or unpleasant experience….*

Therefore, the next time you experience a moment with a sound that is leaving you feeling anything but pleasant, then imagine being transparent, and let the sound travel through you versus slamming into you.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Being Non-Judgemental...a Priceless Practice.

2009-01-11T18:12:00.000-08:00

Hello,

Recently I experienced the benefits of practicing being non-judgemental. This practice can be extremely difficult as we are bombarded with daily stories, people, and news who share information with us accompanied with their thoughts and opinions.

Thoughts and opinions are a part of the human condition....the mind to be exact. While this can be quite a gift, in most cases it is misused leading to judgements of others and ultimately causing a sense of separation among us.

I have been practicing being non-judgemental on a daily basis. The first step I took was just being aware of when I was judging other beliefs, people, and opinions. Once I had gotten use to being aware and recognizing my judgemental thoughts and attitude, I was then able to take the second step.

The second step was to challenge each of my judgemental thoughts. For example, I would ask myself why I had that thought, and more importantly, could that thought or judgement be wrong? Most of the time, I realized that my judgemental thoughts could be inaccurate or wrong, which left me feeling critical and harsh.

Once I was able to get familiar with challenging my judgemental thoughts, I was able to diffuse the hold that they had on me. In addition, I diffused the control they had on my emotions and resulting actions.

I realized the benefits of my practice when a recent event found its way into my life and my moment. When I was told of this event, not only was I free of being judgemental, but I was free of feeling any sort of negative emotions that could have resulted from one of my judgemental thoughts. Had this event happened to someone else, judgemental and fearful thoughts could have taken over and left emotions of anger, jealousy, and fear of rejection. However, I didn't judge the event and was able to steer clear of the negative emotions that could have resulted. I felt emotional free and at peace with the entire event and situation.

Now don't get me wrong, I still have moments every day where a part of me (i.e. my ego) still does try to judge and even react to judgemental thoughts. However I am much more aware of them now when they occur, and as time goes by, the judgemental thoughts seem to occur much less frequently.

I would love for all of you to try to be aware of any judgemental thoughts that you have and try to challenge them. Over time your judgemental thoughts will weaken and as a result you will feel much more mentally free and at peace.

Peace and Stillness,
Shannon

Roll in the New Year with a New Dream or New Hobby

2009-01-04T19:07:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year once again when many people reflect on the past year and set new year’s resolutions. Many new year’s resolutions that get set are often focused on either halting a bad trait or trying to begin a healthy new one.

Often time’s people tend to refrain from setting a new exciting dream to pursue or a new fun hobby to pick up. To start the year out on an adventurous note, I challenge all of you to create a new exciting dream or a fun new hobby to pursue. I further challenge you to set up a short and sweet schedule that would outline a few turtle steps for you to achieve that dream or hobby.

For example, as I reflected on the past year, I realized that there was a dream I had not yet pursued, as well as a hobby I had not untaken. My dream was to revise and submit a fictional novel I had written a couple of years ago. A new hobby I’d always wanted to pursue was learning to play the piano….*

When the new year approached, I came up with a couple small steps in order to work towards both my aspiring dream of becoming a published author as well as an amateur pianist. So, my steps included printing off my rough manuscript and spend just ten to fifteen minutes a day revising a paragraph or two. I also took some holiday gift money and purchased a Piano for Dummies book to begin learning about the piano and its history. Having taken just those first steps, has helped me to feel a sense of accomplishment and joy.

In addition to the joy these steps have already given me, a new adventurous journey has begun in my life. Taking simple steps to pursue something new can result in an amazing spiral effect and lead to new dreams and new accomplishments. Another example is a friend of mine who is a working actress. One role she had landed required her to learn to play a little guitar. As a result, she fell in love with the guitar and has now started up band that she loves doing more then acting….*

Therefore, if you have not already done so, please consider pursuing a new dream or undertaking a new hobby for the new 2009 year. Then watch a new adventurous journey unfold before your eyes.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

New Year's Resolutions, Turtle Steps, and a Poem

2009-01-01T07:31:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and look forward to a fantastic 2009 year.

Most people begin a new year with new year's resolutions. I even have a couple of my own. Heck, it may even be safe to say that most people include some sort of healthier living resolution included in their list of new year's resolutions....and again, I am one of them. One of my resolutions is to incorporate some sort of regular exercise routine so that I can have a happy and healthy heart. Especially since that organ is vital to my existence.

While I was setting my new year's resolutions, I wanted to take this moment to remind everyone of the importance of turtle steps when setting new year's resolutions and sticking to them. Many people who set new year's resolutions will set goals that are essentially leaps or jumps. For example, one friend of mine said they wanted to lose weight this year, so they plan to begin working out 5 days a week. Prior to today, she didn't work out at all. That is what I consider a "leap" so to speak. To go from one extreme to another.

However, if you set resolutions or goals in the form of leaps or jumps, chances are you may fall flat on your face. And getting back up may be a little challenging. However, if you set your resolutions in the form of turtle steps, then chances are you will take one step forward, and then another step forward, without falling flat on your face.

I encourage everyone to look at any and all new year's resolutions they have set for 2009 and apply the turtle steps method. All that you need to do is take a resolution/goal and cut it in half. Then cut it in half again. Keep cutting the goal in half until every part of you (mind and body) says "yes, we can definitely do that and stick to it".

For example, my friend was going to go from zero days of working out, to working out five days a week. She cut that in half, which left her with about 3 days a week (she rounded up from 2.5). Then she cut it in half again and rounded it to 2 days a week. When she thought about working out 2 days a week versus 5 days a week, she realized that every part of her felt a sense of "we can do that". Some people might even cut that in half and work out 1 day a week, or even 1 day every other week.

Then once a turtle step becomes a habit, you can increase the steps gradually. As humans, more gradual changes are easier for us to incorporate in our lives then trying to make sudden changes. So please take a moment today and apply the turtle steps method to your new year's resolutions and enjoy your desired results unfold before your very eyes.

I also wanted to share a wonderful poem I read today:

Otherwise

I got out of bed

on two strong legs

It might have been

otherwise. I ate

cereal, sweet

milk, ripe, flawless

peach. It might

have been otherwise.

I took the dog uphill

to the birch wood.

All morning I did

the work I love.

As noon I lay down

with my mate. It might

have been otherwise.

We ate dinner together

at a table with silver

candlesticks. It might

have been otherwise.

I slept in a bed

in a room with paintings

on the walls, and

planned another day

just like this day.

But one day, I know,

it will be otherwise.

- Jane Kenyon

I just was so moved by this poem and wanted to share it with all of you. Especially since it helps to remind us to live in the present moment.

Peace to all.

Shannon

Change, History, and Peace is made!

2008-11-05T18:25:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to share that recent events have provided us moments of hope, change, and peace. As everyone knows, the United States recently made history last night by electing Barak Obama as the it's next president.

During the evening last night, I sensed an energy and oneness with the world that I had not experienced since 9/11.

Regardless of who you were rooting for as President, what I believe most people want to see and feel is change. Either way, history was going to be made with either candidate and I was very proud to be a part of this historic event.

When the cameras scanned the crowds all around the world, I became overwhelmed with sensations of happiness and peace. I even shed a couple tears myself, because it is not often that there is a sense of oneness and connectivity with so many people in the world. Usually everyone goes about their lives and a sense of disconnect is often felt. But last night, there was absolutely a connection and I felt it deep within.

I also realize that the most important thing that each and everyone of us can do, is to feel and bring a sense of peace to every moment.

So if you haven't taken a moment to realize this historic event and feel a new sense of hope, please tap in, even if for just one second....and feel the energy and hope that we all share, regardless of where in the world we live.

Peaceful changes to all!!!

Shannon

When problems come your way, don’t forget about checking internal solutions. *

2008-10-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

OK….so the economy remains to be a pretty grim topic, and situation for that matter. Most people are seeing their investments decrease, unemployment continues to increase, and yet prices seem to be going up and up. YIKES! In fact, many people I know are not only concerned for their financial future, but their children’s and grandchildren’s futures as well.

Believe it or not, among all the worry and concern, I find myself not becoming overwhelmed by the economic crisis. This is mostly due to the fact that I am working daily on focusing in the present moment, with the use of a wonderful tool by a wonderful mentor…..*

Byron Katie founded, The Work, a simple and powerful tool to help people end the suffering they are afflicting upon themselves. The Work is extremely effective and a reminder that much of our stress and suffering is due to the thoughts and stories we tell ourselves, as opposed to actual external factors.

Much of the time, many people I know seem to believe that when they are faced with a challenge or problem, that something external needs to change in order to either stop the problem, or avoid a challenge. For example, a friend of mine was repeatedly getting upset with her husband who was occasionally getting home later then she had planned…..*

I suggested to my friend that she try using The Work by Byron Katie to see if she could check out her own internal processes, versus believing that the only way to correct this problem was to have an external factor change (i.e. her husband needed to make a change). Sure enough, after trying out The Work, my friend realized that she could work on her thought process and attitude toward her husband’s action.
So the next time you are faced with a problem or unwelcome challenge, consider internal solutions and not just external solutions.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

“Holy Financial Problems Batman…..” *

2008-10-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

And right about now, we could use a super hero to get us out this mess….or heck, we need the Justice League at this point. Yikes, yikes, yikes….it seems that not only is the U.S. economy dealing with a crisis, but the rest of the world is also being affected by our financial situation. I keep hearing phrases that cause me to stop and pause, such as “American Financial Crisis” and “Economic Meltdown”. Recently I heard a phrase that stopped me in my tracks…“the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression”.

Is this crisis really being compared to the Great Depression? I was told by many elders that something like the Great Depression would not happen again since “we learned from that experience”. I gotta wonder now….did we learn enough?

I realized that one thing that helps me to feel better about my financial situation, during this crisis, is to verify my income versus my expenses. That is something that I personally can do now and that helps to give me an indication of how I am doing financially, which brings a sense of confidence and assurance.

If you are finding yourself worried about the current economic crisis, and your own financial situation, please take the time to do this simple but effective exercise. Just sit down and re-evaluate your monthly income versus your monthly expenses. List everything, including small purchases, like coffee in the morning at Starbuck’s, or a donut from Dunkin’ Donuts. Better yet, take a day or week and keep track of every purchase you make. Then you will be able to tangibly see where your money is being spent. If you find that your expenses total more then your income, then you will need to analyze each expense and see where you can make some significant changes.

The great thing about this little exercise is that if most people do make sure their income is more then their expenses, then we all will help the recovery of the financial crisis we are seeing happening around the world today. So sit right down and make sure your personal situation is “in the black” (i.e. financially stable) and steering clear of “the red” (i.e. in debt).

Financial Peace to All!

We Are Life

2008-10-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

I had a realization come to me as I took a stroll, and I wanted to share it with all of you. This came to me as I was remembering the teachings of a wise mentor, Eckhart Tolle.

I want to live, breathe, respond, and react through a state of peace, love, and oneness. For these are states of Being.

I do not want to live, breathe, respond or react through a state of non-peace, anger, separation, or frustration. For these are states of the Ego/Pain-Body.

We are all life experiencing itself through these forms.

Peace and Love to all!!

“There is no place like home…there is no place like home”. *

2008-09-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz was onto something with this phrase. Recently, as many of you know, I went out of town for nearly a month. Not only was this the longest stretch of time that I was away from home, but there was also very little English spoken where I was temporarily residing.

I was determined to handle this trip as an adventure and use much of my optimistic attitude and mind-set. I would learn about myself and welcome any and all challenges. What I had slightly forgotten about was the “realistic” aspects of my adventures in foreign travel. I thought all I needed was my “optimistic” handbag. Wrong. Now, don’t get me wrong, being optimistic is a wonderful trait to have. However, sometimes optimistic people tend to forget about some of the realities of life that very much exist in this world.

For example, I had not realistically acknowledged some of the things, and comforts, that I would miss during my travels. Such as, seeing family members and watching my favorite sitcoms. I thought to myself, “oh heck this trip will be great and I will be gone for only one month”. As if it was not that big of a deal.

Well, this worked for about two weeks. I was on an adventure and was absorbing new surroundings and cultures. However, during the third week, I was hit by a “reality” Mack truck….* I felt many overwhelming feelings hit me all at once. I was feeling angry, sad, frustrated, and anxious. Boom.

So I started to cry and sob, and cry and sob, and cry and sob….* I wondered where all those feelings had come from and how they seemed to suddenly surface. I realized that while I was living an adventure, I was also very much missing many aspects about the comforts of my wonderful home. I missed my family and pets terribly. I missed my cozy couch with my nice color screen TV where every 100+ channels had English speaking programs and shows. I missed pizza and McDonald’s at nearly every corner. I missed my walks in a quaint little nearby park and my backyard deck with multiply flowers and occasional butterflies.

This travel experience helped me to realize a couple of very important tips. One, that even though travel can be adventurous, there really is no place like home. Second, being optimistic is great, but also remember to be realistic as well.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Holy Break Batman!!

2008-09-28T12:27:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone,

I wanted to apologize for the lack of postings. I went out of town for a month and had intended on placing a post to explain my temporary absence. Well, time slipped away from me and I was not able to post.

However, I am now back from my travels and will be continuing to post regularly, beginning today.

Thank you all for your patience and returned views.

Shannon

When Your Emotions “Runneth Over”…. and how to prevent wide-spread contamination.*

2008-08-15T06:34:00.001-07:00

Emotions can be pretty tricky, heck even trickier then a David Copperfield illusion. Since our emotions are deep within our bodies, and don’t have any physical form, they can be pretty hard to detect and interpret. What can even be more challenging are very passionate emotions, especially from our past.

Some emotions we hold are so strong and intense, that they can spill over and affect other areas of our life. For example, I have a friend named Sarah who would experience emotions of sadness periodically from her past. She was hurt as a child, and as the years passed she tried to just brush them off, as if shooing a fly from her food. For many years, this strategy worked and Sarah lived most of her days pretty happy and content.

However, over time, Sarah noticed that other aspects of her life were changing. In particular, she noticed that while at work, she felt occasional urges of sadness and nearly cried. Sarah wondered if her past emotional sadness was now trickling over into her work like. In many cases, that is most likely. Most people, who have past emotional pain, will experience that pain spilling over and into other aspects of their lives. This is mostly due to the fact that they may not have taken steps to acknowledge the past pain, and then heal the pain.

Our bodies often use emotions to communicate with us. If we try to disregard or avoid those emotions, then our bodies may find other ways (i.e. other aspects of our lives) in which to try to get our attention.

Sarah decided to look into her past and face the saddening pain head-on. She read some self-help books and even hired a life coach….* As Sarah continued to heal, she noticed a difference at work once again. However, the difference was the absence of sadness she felt. In Sarah’s case, her past pain had begun to affect her at work…*

Some people may deal with an un-welcomed emotion, yet still feel its effects in other areas of their lives. In those cases, I do encourage people to reach out to a counselor or therapist, as it may be related to other medical conditions.

If you believe you may be experiencing an emotion that is affecting other aspects of your life, please try one of the effective exercises (i.e. Identifying the Source* and Confirm and Schedule*) that can help you to deal and heal those emotions.

Peace to all!

Shannon

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

”What Dreams May Come”….the good, the bad, and the ugly.*

2008-08-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

Ah dreams…a very interesting topic many people are fascinated with. Some people have good dreams that include hopes and desires, such as starting a family or becoming famous. Other people have bad dreams that may include unfortunate news, or a replay of a past event that was not welcomed. Further, some of us also have
ugly dreams that are also known as “nightmares”. Nightmares may include losing a loved one, being harmed ourselves, or being chased by some alien type creature from the movie “Signs”. Some dreams are easily forgettable, while others sit with us all day.

In any case, most people do wonder about their dreams, and even try to interpret them, as if they were a Freudian student. Some dreams are repetitive while others are one-time occurrences. Dreams can teach us something about ourselves and even help shed light on issues or problems we may be facing.

A great trick that I learned from my mentor, Martha Beck, is a very unique and effective one. I challenge you to try this out sometime, especially if a particular dream bothered you for some time afterward. What you do is get some paper and a writing utensil of choice (e.g. I prefer the Hello Kitty Pen). Then sit for a moment and replay the dream as best as you can recall it, in your mind. Write down what you see, what is going on, who else is there, and where you are. Write down any objects and/or people that are present. Then you look at each object and/or person you wrote down, take one at a time and sit for a moment and then imagine being that object, or person, in your dream. Then write down what that object would describe itself as, or who the person would describe herself, or himself, as. For example, if there was a table in your dream, imagine you are the table. Describe what type of table you are, the color, the style, etc. If there was another person in your dream, imagine being them. Who are they? What were they wearing? How were they feeling?

Then, when you are done, look back and read what you wrote down. You may realize something you didn’t notice about your dream before, or you may see some sort of pattern or trend. Looking at your dreams from another perspective (i.e. objects or other people) can really help you to shed light on a dream, or even problem you are dealing with. As a result, you can either start taking steps to accomplish that dream, or deal and heal a problem you are experiencing.

Beware.....your point of view may start to change over time when you begin to analyze your dreams in this fascinating way.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

“Financial Attention Deficit Disorder”…Symptoms and Treatments

2008-07-31T09:21:00.001-07:00

Check out this new phrase that is buzzing around…and might I say, it seems to be a pretty realistic disorder.

Financial stability, or lack of, can have a tremendous effect on our daily quality of life. Some of those effects include; stress about future bills, worry over a zero balance in a saving’s account, or anxiety over losing your income to a lay-off situation. When our daily quality of life is negatively affected by our financial burdens or situations, it can lead to a snowball effect, starting with lower self-esteem and lower self-worth. Further, lower self-esteem can result in poor financial decisions or unnecessary “comfort” spending.

As I thought of this new buzzing phrase, I did a little research regarding common financial struggles (i.e. symptoms). Then I checked with some financial experts to get some effective prioritizing steps (i.e. treatments), and wanted to share the results.

Symptoms of “Financial Attention Deficit Disorder” include:

1) Living paycheck to paycheck.
2) Having a very low, or no, savings account.
3) Wondering where all your money goes (not able to account for your spending).
4) Having a credit card (or two or ten) maxed out.
5) Having no emergency fund in case of unforeseen life changes (e.g. loss of a job, illness, natural disaster).

Now, some of you may be thinking, “holy cow, one or two or more of those symptoms pertain to me”. If you can relate to any of the symptoms above, then you may very well have “Financial Attention Deficit Disorder”. Through my sleuthy research, I was able to find some handy dandy treatment steps to overcome “Financial Attention Deficit Disorder”

(Source: www.bankrate.com/brm/news/advice/20040317a1.asp).

Treatment Steps Include:

1) Create a “starter” emergency fund – get creative and find ways to try to save up $1000. This is much more reasonable and easier to reach then the traditional amount that many financial advisor’s suggest (i.e. save up 3 to 6 months of your living expenses).
2) Pay off all your unsecured debt, one at a time – examples of secured debt include your mortgage and car loans. The most common example of unsecured debt is credit card debt.
3) Now build up your emergency fund with 3 to 6 months of basic living expenses. Basic living expenses include housing, food, water, essential utilities, medical insurance, car loan, child support (if applicable), and taxes. Some examples of expenses that are not basic or high priority include; credit card loans, high-definition service for your television, Netflix, etc. You may be able to look and identify expenses that you don’t need in order to survive.

In addition, there are two effective exercises (i.e. Prioitizing Party Exercise* & Seek and Surrender Task*) that can help you to begin to feel more secure about your financial situation. As a result, you will experience a higher quality of daily life through higher self-esteem and higher self-worth.

Best Wishes and Peace to All!
Shannon

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

”Love Does Not Want or Fear Anything”….is that so? *

2008-07-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

I heard this comment recently, and my first reaction was, “Really? But I do have fears and wants involving love”. For example, I have “wanted” someone special to love me and join in a partnership with me. I have “feared” that no one will love me as I am, or want to spend the rest of their life with me. So how does “Love” not want or fear anything?

So I did some soul searching, and continued to listen to the narrator about this statement, and found out the answer. While it was somewhat abstract, it eventually made perfect sense and opened up a door to an enlightened way of thinking for me. I believe that this statement can help many people avoid so much stress and frustration over “love” and relationships with others, so I wanted to share it.

This particular narrator (i.e. Eckhart Tolle) explained that it is our “ego” that wants and fears things. The ego being the thought process of our human minds. The ego thrives on “wanting” and “fearing”, which ultimately results in placing conditions on love. This also places some control of our lives in someone else’s hands. For example, let’s look at the statement, “I want someone to love and cherish me”. The condition is that you are wanting someone else to do something so that you then feel a certain way (e.g. more important or more lovable). Further, you are giving some control to that other person in the sense that if they don’t love you, you will be let down and then possibly feel less of a person or less lovable. The same goes for fearing something.

The bottom line, and lesson to be learned from this, is that “Love” does not want or fear anything. Our ego’s (i.e. minds) want and fear various things for various reasons. Here is a powerful statement for you,”Love just is”. It is just being in a moment with no judgment or conditions or fears. Love exists beneath all the thoughts and emotions that the ego creates in our lives and world. Love is peace and stillness.

Enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

An Enlightenment Poem to Enlighten Your Day

2008-07-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

I was feeling slightly out of touch with my spiritual side this week; 3 traffic jams, encounters with grumpy people, and arriving 40 minutes late to an appointment can do that to you.

To help fend off the mental anxiety of nearly cursing out this day, I found solace in a poem I refer to often. I wanted to share it with you in case you find yourself feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

Source: My Journey to Enlightenment Source, theoneistheall.wordpress.com

Dazed and confused title turned to trauma,

light turns again to night

another day occupied with thoughts

of how should's and how can's,

where's this bliss? where's the joy?

Trying to create something which is already created.

Peel away the layers of trying and wanting and

pretending and all that remains is truth.

Everything flows perfectly when there is no struggling,

no wanting and fighting. The perfect flow is there.

Release the how can I’s, the what if’s the when’s and the why’s.

Embrace the IS.

Embrace the NOW.

Avoid the “Summertime Blues” with two easy steps.

2008-07-17T15:03:00.001-07:00

Yep, that’s right folks….you are not seeing things and heading straight into a form of dementia. Feeling “the blues” is not reserved for just the winter months.

When I first heard about this, I thought “no way, what the heck”. But then I did happen to recall a couple of summertime’s in which I was feeling pretty down and out. As I checked out this interesting fact, I found that not only are there summertime blues, but there are several types of summertime blues.

For example, one site (source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/) stated that experts are studying summer SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Although it is less common then winter SAD, summer SAD does affect thousands of people. Some researchers believe that rising temperatures can cause our body temperatures to rise and that can lead to feelings of agitation, restlessness, and insomnia.

Another informative site (source: ezinearticles.com) listed other forms of summertime blues, including: vacation blues, post-vacation blues, transition blues, and the “We’ve Got It Backwards” blues. Once I read about these other kinds of summertime blues, I thought, “oh my gosh, I have experienced summertime blues”. See if you can relate to any of them.
1) Vacation Blues – trying to get a year’s worth of relaxation into one week or a few days. As a result, when many return they feel stressed out again and want a vacation from the vacation. Sound familiar?
2) Post-Vacation Blues – get this, psychologists have a term for this called “post-reinforcement pause”. Pretty much just meaning we get back to our reality after a wonderful few days or weeks.
3) Transition Blues – many of us experience transitions during the summer months, such as graduations, moving, and weddings. The anticipation can be fun to look forward too, but once the event is over, we go back to “reality”.
4) “We’ve Got It Backwards” Blues – this one stood out to me and even had a hint of “ringing true”. This refers to the fact that when we were young kids, we didn’t have much money to spend during the summertime, as well as unable to do much about it since we were “under-age”. However, many of us now find that as we are older and able to make our own decisions, we now find we still may not have the money or means to do what we want to during the summer months. Interesting huh.

Now some of you may be reading this and going “man I could relate”. Or maybe, and unfortunately, one or two of these may ring true for you at this very moment. In any case, there are two easy ways to steer clear of the summertime blues. One such way is to take things slowly, and the other way is to be patient with yourself. In addition, there are two effective exercises * that can help you avoid a possible upcoming seasonal “blues” episode.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Smiling….the Universal Language that Connects Us All

2008-07-15T04:16:00.000-07:00

Many people travel during their lifetime, whether that is for work or pleasure. Many of those travels may take us to far away locations where the locals speak another language. Others may remain in familiar territory, yet encounter visitors who are communicating in a foreign language. In either case, one form of communication that we all share worldwide is a smile.

A smile is a very friendly jester and greeting to another person. Regardless of what language you speak, nearly everyone interprets a smile in the same way. Recently I was in a foreign land where my native language (i.e. English) was rarely spoken, nor understood. I was faced with many encounters where I could not decipher a word of written, or spoken, communication. And mind you, I studied the language a little and knew their alphabet and some basic greetings.

The one thing I did realize during my foreign travels was that I found comfort in smiling. Smiling was the one form of communication that both myself, and the person I was trying to communicate with, understood. At times I even felt especially connected to them when they smiled back. I realized that I had forgotten how important a smile can be. That is, until I was in a foreign land and began using it more often. I also realized that I had not used it much when I was home and living my daily life. A simple smile can go a long way and scientists have even stated that it takes fewer muscles to form a smile on our faces then it does to frown.

So the next time you encounter someone you don’t know, whether that be in a foreign land or in the comfort of your own home town, smile at them. You never know how much it can brighten someone’s day, including your own.

Stuck in Thoughts of Worry or Fear? Accept the Unaccepted and Find Some Wiggle Room.

2008-07-02T10:38:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend of mine, Jackie, was going through an anxious time in her life. She was suddenly traveling to another country and was told that it required some processing and documents that she needed to apply for and request.

Now Jackie is usually a pretty calm and relaxed person. However, when it comes to important travels and having to count on others to be able to reach her goal and deadlines, she gets understandably anxious.

One night she contacted me and said she was really struggling with her worrisome and fearful thoughts. Some of the thoughts were, “What if I don’t get my visa and passport back in time?” and “What if my lay-over gets delayed, causing me to miss a connecting flight?” I had mentioned that these were valid concerns, but that there were perhaps ways to defuse them so they would quiet down just a bit. I then shared with her a simple little tool that can help anyone free themselves from the clutches of the worry and fear scoundrels. That simple tool is just this, “Accept the fact that you are not accepting the situation or moment”. Now if this sounds ironic, good, because it is.

....*

However, sometimes we may run into situations where accepting what is happening just does not help us to fend off the plethora of worrisome thoughts. So then, the next step in defusing the situation is accepting that you are not accepting the situation. In other words, accepting that you are not accepting your worrisome thoughts. Because if you keep thinking that you just want them to go away, and that you should not have them, then to a certain extent you are denying a genuine feeling that a part of you is experiencing. So by accepting the fact that you don’t accept the worrisome or fearful thoughts, you then open up a tiny little space that a part of you says, “OK”. A space that I refer to as “Wiggle Room”. From that space, or wiggle room, you can focus on just being in that moment and diffuse the negative thoughts that are focusing on future fear.

....*

The next time you struggle with a very worrisome or fearful thought, try just accepting what you aren’t accepting, and a slight sense of freedom may follow.

May you find a little "Wiggle Room" in each worrisome situation you encounter.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Knowing What You Don’t Want is a Great Start….BUT, Finish it off with a Goal in Mind.*

2008-06-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

There are tons of people out there that are pretty confident about what they don’t want. Whether that be something simple (e.g. not wanting to eat out tonight), or something pretty grand (e.g. not wanting to get married).

Every day most of us are faced with tasks, jobs, or situations that present examples
of what we don’t want. For example, one day a friend of mine said, “I don’t want to drive to my relatives this weekend”, and “I don’t want to have zero dollars in my savings account”. Now I for one can relate to these two examples as I have used
them from time to time.

However, what we often forget to do is a very crucial next step; defining what we do want. Defining what we do want can help us to navigate through life, incorporate changes, and most importantly, reach goals and aspirations. Yet, as my dear friend repeated to me one day, “I don’t want to have zero dollars in my account”, I then asked a question that stopped her in her tracks. I asked her, “So how much money do you want in your account?” To my friend’s surprise, she was not sure. She said, “oh, I don’t know, I guess I just know I don’t want zero”. Well, this is all fine and dandy at first. But, if we don’t take the time to really figure out and define what we do want, then we can end up aimlessly wandering through life. I had asked my friend when she first felt this way, and guess what, she said “oh gosh, about 5 years or so”. My dear friend then thought for a moment and said, “I can’t believe it has been that long?”….*

…..*

Often it is easy in this very fast paced world we live in, to forget to define and set goals of what we do want, and just keep on living in “what I don’t want” mode. So the next time you find yourself saying “I really don’t want that”, then figure out what you do want instead and start achieving that great goal.

ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!!

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Are You Feeling “Blue” About Your “Green” (Financial) Situation?

2008-06-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

Many people are feeling the struggling economy. Gas prices have nearly skyrocketed in the past year, the housing market has slumped with nearly record high foreclosure rates, the unemployment rate has increased, and the value of the US dollar has decreased. Shoot, it’s enough to make anyone run for financial cover; that is in the form of decreased spending and transferred money into more stable accounts (e.g. bonds and guaranteed funds).

Often during such financial “woes”, many people suffer emotionally. Specifically, self-esteem and a person’s self-worth are affected by their financial situation. I knew a woman named Patty who was very positive and vibrant. Then she found out that the value of her house declined, and she had a high credit card balance. Patty began to feel anxious about her financial situation and felt very worried and stressed out. As days passed by, Patty had often shared how she could not seem to put anything into her savings account, no matter how hard she tried.

One day I asked her about her financial situation and how that was making her feel. She replied, “very helpless” and “drained”. As a result of her new found negative emotions, Patty also realized that other negative thoughts started to re-surface and bother her. As if a downward spiral had overcome her, sucking the positive life right out of her.

Then I asked Patty if she had a budget. She had said that she sort-of had one in her head, but nothing in “writing” so to speak.....*

Patty did create a budget on her computer with a spreadsheet program she had (i.e. Microsoft Excel), and was surprised at what she saw.....*

Patty also noticed something very profound. By having a budget, she noticed that she was feeling much better emotionally. Patty was experiencing a sense of control over her money and spending. As a result, she was able to come up with solutions and changes to her spending habits. Finally, with a sense of control, Patty was feeling higher self-esteem and increased self-worth.

There are exercises, (e.g. Budget Your Way Out of Financial Anxiety* and Accepting the Situation*) that can help someone dissolve financial “woes”.....*

Peace and wellness to all!

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Four Easy Steps to Avoid Low Self-Esteem Caused by Frequent Procrastination

2008-06-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

Well happy Friday everyone! As many of you know, I am a member of the National Association for Self-Esteem and they send out a handy dandy newsletter that contains some really nifty articles.
This week I found one article in particular that I thought was just a gem, and better yet, it can help build one’s confidence and self-esteem. So I wanted to pass it along and share it with all of you.

Enjoy!!!

Source: National Association of Self-Esteem Newsletter #8-1

Stop Putting IT Off!

It is time to get a round to it.

By Bob Younglove

You know what IT is. IT is the things you could do and should do to be healthier, happier, and more successful. You keep saying you are going to do IT. You even know that when you do IT, you will be happier and proud of yourself. Turning your good intentions into positive results, build you confidence and self-esteem.

So, for your sake, don’t put IT off another day. You deserve the best. Go for IT! Following the simple steps in this article will significantly improve your quality of life.

STOP! Don’t put this article on the pile of “To read some day”,
because you’ll never a round to it.

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Do IT now! Decide to start doing the things you already know will lead to enhanced career success, improved health, and greater personal happiness.

STEP 1

Make a list of the actions that you know and believe will bring you success. To start you thinking, complete the following sentences:
I will be healthier when I _______________________________
My career will be more rewarding when I __________________
I will be proud and happy with me when I __________________

STEP 2

Motive yourself by falling in love with the vision of your success. Daydream about what it will feel like to have accomplished your goals. Start every morning by focusing on the picture of you in the future, and the way you are behaving as a “dot it now person”!

STEP 3
Make a list of itty-bitty tasks that you can do in 15 or 20 minutes, which will move you toward your vision. Make a commitment to yourself, and tell a friend about at least one thing you will do today to move you closer to achieving your goals. Don’t put your head on the pillow at night until you have taken some positive action for success.

STEP 4
Build momentum by frequently telling yourself that you have the intelligence, the willpower and the self-confidence to use your time, your talent and your energy each and everyday to be successful.

Stop procrastinating on doing the things that you know will bring you great joy, personal pride, and success. Stop letting life happen to you, and start making life happen for you.

Bob Younglove is a Performance Coach, Speaker and the author of SPONSOR SUCCESS: A Workbook for Turning Good Intentions Into Positive Results, American Literary Press, 2002

Peace and Pleasure Can Be Just a "Sniff" Away

2008-06-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

I had learned something a couple years ago from a well known medical professional that I found to be pretty interesting. Doctor Mehmet Oz had mentioned in his book, YOU: The Owner's Manual: An Insider's Guide to the Body that Will Make You Healthier and Younger, that our sense of smell is the only sense we have that goes straight to the “pleasure portion” of our brain (i.e. amygdala).

All the other senses that most of us possess include: touch, taste, sight, and hearing. Apparently these other senses have to go through another process or two before we understand and interpret what they are revealing to us. However, our sense of smell gets a sort of “skip ahead pass” and goes straight to the area of the brain that effects arousal, emotion, and pleasure.

Once I became aware of this nice little characteristic about my sense of smell, I decided to use it to my advantage. I had set out to find a couple scents that would lead me right to a peaceful and pleasurable state of mind. Almost like an instant little mini vacation for my mind. So I trekked down to a local aromatherapy store and checked out all their essential oils. Many of these stores sell oils for massage therapists and aromatherapy practitioners.

There were several oils (i.e. scents) to choose from, and I had a couple in mind that I knew were linked to certain reactions and emotions. For example, Lavender is well known for aiding anxiety, irritability, and insomnia. Peppermint was known for aiding with fatigue, headache, and nausea. There are several other oils available, however these two were the ones that put smiles on my face as I sniffed their magical aromas.

***Now, please note that I knew of the safety precautions to be taken when dealing with essential oils. Please visit the link to this site, http://www.aromaweb.com/articles/safety.asp, for a list of safety precautions before purchasing any essential oils.

My intention was to just smell the scent of each oil I desired, as opposed to rubbing the oil onto my skin. Specifically what I had set out to do was simply place a drop or two of oil onto a small pillow-shaped cloth that I was going to tote around with me in my adorable purse. So I bought a tiny jar of peppermint and lavender, and headed home to test my new experiment out. My experiment was simply to sniff my wonderfully scented pillow-shaped cloth whenever I felt stress, anxiety, headache pain, or fatigue. My hope was that I would immediately experience a moment or two of peace and pleasure.

Well, guess what…..it worked! At least for me and many others I have mentioned this little trick too. So, you may want to consider finding one or two of your favorite “scents” and tote them around on something that you can refer too in times of strife or stress. Just one or two little sniffs can send you for a moment into “Pleasantville”.

P.S. Scents can be obtained in several forms such as colognes, body sprays, soaps, and candles. If you consider purchasing a scent through the use of essential oils, please check out the safety link above and consult with an aromatherapy practitioner.

Peace and pleasure to all!

Sail Into Summer by Steering Clear of the Three W’s….That Can Cause Mental Storms.*

2008-06-13T19:36:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go? Summer time 2008 is almost here and many are planting colorful flowers, buying suntan lotion, revving up the barbecues and dodging bumble bees.

Summer time can also mean hot steamy temperatures and occasional thunderstorms. However, dear mother nature isn’t the only one that produces storms. Sometimes, we humans have what I refer to as “mental storms”. By mental storms, I mean negative and stressful thought patterns that can take over our minds and continue to grow in strength as they move about in our heads. Many of these mental storm systems are brought on by, what I call, the three W’s…..worry, waiting, and wondering.

Worry can be an effective incoming “front”, causing mental storms. Many people worry about something from the past, or anticipate something in the future. ….*

Waiting is also damaging and keeps your life “on hold”. Many people seem to be waiting their whole lives in anticipation of future events. ….*

The last “W” is wonder. Now some of you may being thinking “I thought wonder was a good emotion to have” and it can be. For instance, if you are wondering about something positive, then that can be a fine type of wonder. However, many people wonder about negative things. For example, wondering about what would happen if you lost your job, or a loved one fell ill. ….*

Often these three W’s can work together and feed off each other, causing a sort of mental typhoon in your head. However, there are steps you can take (e.g. Using Your Doppler Radar and Clear Skies Collage) to avoid stirring up these mental storms and just sail through this summer like a fresh breeze. ….*

So the next time you find yourself worrying, waiting, or wondering…try to relax those thoughts so that they don’t turn into thunderous mental storms.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Ten Seconds that can change your life, and even save it.

2008-06-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

I read an article today that left me feeling sad, yet determined. It was an article about how a recent road rage encounter ended in death for one passenger (a grandmother) and wounded a little girl.

I can imagine how their traveling journey started. There were five passengers in an SUV, heading to some adventurous destination. However, their plans went sour when they pulled out in front of another car, whose occupants were not so happy. A minor collusion had occurred and it was reported that both drivers had a verbal altercation.

Unfortunately, when the altercation was over, the driver of the smaller car was not finished with the encounter. The car then followed the SUV and the passenger ended up pulling out a gun and shooting at the SUV, which was clearly filled with passengers. One passenger was fatally wounded, and another little girl was shot in the arm, but will recover. Well, physically anyway.

I wanted to share this story with you because I do believe that we all can individually work together to prevent such horrible encounters and circumstances.

I realize that many people are in “hurry” mode when they get into a car. However, I am going to give you a couple of very effective exercises that can help you to relax just a little bit before you pull away and begin to drive to your destination. More importantly, these exercises may even help save your life. Not only can being in a more relaxed state help us to feel and drive more calmly, but it can also help us to respond more calmly toward others who tend to drive more aggressively around us.

While I realize that it may feel difficult to control our instant reactions towards others, we are still very responsible for our reactions. There are ways to be aware and control how we react to others who may upset us or offend us. Try to remember that you have no idea who the other driver is and how they handle stress, more or less what they may have with them in their car (or pockets). Even though there may be times that you want to look over at another driver with anger, or even yell at them with rage, just try to look away or avoid any contact with them. If you don’t, the results could be fatal.

I believe that each person, deep down, has the desire to arrive at their destination calmly and safely. In most cases, this can be achieved if we all are aware of our current state of mind, and if we try these effective exercises. They can help you when you are driving, as well as help you fend off any signs of “road rage” that may find their way into your journey. They can also help you in any situation that brings you stress, frustration, or even anger.

Exercise #1: Choose Peace in 10 Seconds
1) As soon as you get into your car, and just before you turn the ignition on, sit for just a moment.
2) Take one deep breath.
3) Then tell yourself (either out loud or in your mind), “I will choose peace today”.
4) Take one more deep breath.
5) Start your car (or whatever it is you are doing) and do it with “peace” in mind.

Exercise #2: Fun & Joyful Symbol
1) Get a small item, or picture, of something that brings a smile to your face (e.g. puppy, kitten, child, Disney character, etc.).
2) Put it up in your car where you can see it while you drive (e.g. hung from rear view mirror).
3) Every time that you make a stop, look at your item or picture. Make a point to focus as much as possible on that item.
4) If you feel yourself getting stressed at another driver, remember your item (or picture) and look over at it the next time you make a stop.

A Couple of Exercise Gems to Help You Align your Body with your Mind

2008-06-05T14:47:00.000-07:00

Recently I experienced some unwelcome tension in my neck and shoulders. Even some super duper over-the-counter miracle tablets did not seem to phase this record breaking tension I was experiencing. I was working at a desk and on the computer, and I had plans that night I looked forward too and did not want to reschedule.

I was faced with figuring out a way to help relieve the tension that had taken hold of my delicate body. Normally I am challenged with mental thoughts that sometimes invade my mind. However, this day I was doing beautifully mentally. It was my body that was out of sync, and not cooperating with the whole mind-body-spirit experience.

So I went online and found a couple very effective exercises that I wanted to share with all of you. The site was titled Fitness is Fun and the address was, http://www.backhealth.net/backhealth/fitness/workexercise.htm.

If you work at a desk or computer often, or if you are just feeling tension in your neck and shoulders, please try these simple yet extremely effective exercises and enjoy the results. For me, the tension had weakened and I felt more energy.

ENJOY!!!!

Relieve Upper Back and Shoulder Tension (Standing or Sitting)

· Lift your hands to your shoulders
· Keep your elbows down and push your shoulders back
· Hold for 15 seconds

Do this five times

Relieve Back, Neck and Shoulder Tension (Standing or Sitting)
· Inhale and raise your shoulders to touch your ears
· While raised, push your shoulders back and exhale
· Relax shoulders

Do this five times.

Relieve Neck and Shoulder Tension (Standing or Sitting)
· Inhale and slowly turn your head to the right until you feel your neck muscles pull. Hold for five

seconds.
. Exhale and return your head to face straight ahead.
· Inhale and slowly turn your head to the left until you feel your neck muscles pull. Hold for five

seconds.
· Exhale and return you head to face straight ahead.

Do this five times

Visiting “Sufferland”….the Park Your Ego and Pain-Body Love to Stay and Play at.

2008-06-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

I had a situation happen to me yesterday that left me with thoughts and feelings of frustration and even, oh my gosh, slight despair. Now, you don’t have to rush over to your window to see if the sky is falling….because yes, even life coaches have their moments. So, I tried to use my successful handy dandy self-coaching skills, as well as my consciousness skills (i.e. being present in the moment). However, to my dismay, nothing seemed to be shaking the dreadful feeling I was experiencing. I soon realized that I had entered that ghastly land I refer to as, “Sufferland”. A place where our egos enjoy the merry-go-rounds (i.e. repetitive negative thoughts), and where the pain-body likes to ride the roller-coaster’s (i.e. up’s, down’s, twists, and turns). Now, let me explain a little about what I refer to as “ego” and “pain-body”. I was first introduced to these terms by Eckhart Tolle, a renowned spiritual teacher. Eckhart defines the ego as our “illusionary sense of identity”, which includes our mental thoughts. The pain-body is defined by Eckart as an “accumulation of old emotional pain”.

What I learned from this experience is that our ego’s and pain-bodies are sometimes going to put up a tough fight and try to control us and stick around for a while. They love visiting “Sufferland” and most of the time they don’t ever want to leave there. Just like a three year old who doesn’t want to leave a fun filled day at dear grandma’s house.

Now, as a coach, I have been able to fend off many egoic thoughts and pain-body episodes with my self-coaching skills and “present moment” techniques. However, this was the first time in a long time that I was not able to leave “Sufferland” so easily. My ego and pain-body wanted to “stay and play for a while”, so to speak.

So, what I tried to do was go the “Acceptance” route. I thought, “OK, I realize that at this moment, a part of me (i.e. my ego/pain-body) wants to play in ‘Sufferland” and feel these feelings. So I accepted those feelings and further thought, “This too shall pass”. So there I was, sticking it out like a trooper. But what I didn’t know was that my ego and pain-body had a plot to try to take up permanent residence in “Sufferland”. Because what happened next was an interesting experience.

I noticed that while I accepted my temporary time in “Sufferland”, my ego brought out the big guns and supplied me with more negative thoughts. Then my ego tried to analyze each thought and test its validity. Some of them felt just as true as the original circumstance and resulting thought. So, I began to wonder if some of them were truer then the original thought that landed me here. Well, this fueled the “ride” and I realized that while in that state of mind, I could not determine which statement was truer. I started to feel overwhelmed and even a little despair. My body was all tense and I felt the most tension in my neck and shoulders. Once I noticed what was happening, and that my body was physically being affected, I knew I had to do something else. However, I also knew that when my ego and pain-body are in “control mode”, they are not open to other choices or peaceful changes. So my next thought was to work with them, and not against them. I thought I would write down all these thoughts my ego was presenting to me, however I wanted to analyze them at a later time. Just then, I felt a sense of “maybe”, and proceeded to grab a pad of paper and a pen. I wrote down each negative thought that had come to me and put a “re-visit date”. My ego was slightly hesitant, but I soon felt a sense of “Ok, that is fine”. Next I felt a slight sense of ease. I knew I had weakened my ego’s hold, and as a result also my pain-body’s hold (since the pain-body needs the ego to survive). Then, I just focused on my breath. Now, I still felt slightly “down and out”, but it was not nearly as strong as it was earlier that evening. I am happy to report that, in my case, the next morning I felt joyful and peaceful once again.

In light of this experience, I want to let you all know that when you feel you are smack dab in the middle of “Sufferland”, first try to accept what is happening to you at that moment and remember that, “This too shall pass”. Sometimes that may be enough to shorten your stay and get you through the “EXIT” doors much faster. However, if (like me) you find that your ego or pain-body want to take up residence in “Sufferland”, then try my little technique of writing the thoughts down and deciding to analyze them at a later time (preferably when you are feeling better).

Lastly, I also wanted to share with you a song I listened too this morning that really struck me as the perfect song for moments like this. Moments when our egos (and/or pain-body’s) are trying to visit “Sufferland”. The song is called “Lies” and it is by Glen Hansard (from the soundtrack “Once”). Please note that as I heard the first verse, I felt as though it referred to our true inner-selves. All the rest of the verses, I felt, were perfectly referring to our egos and pain-bodies.

“LIES”
I think it's time, we give it up

And figure out what's stopping us

From breathing easy, and talking straight

The way is clear if you're ready now

The volunteer is slowing down

And taking time to save himself

The little cracks they escalated

And before you know it was too late

For making circles and telling lies

You're moving too fast for me

And I can't keep up with you

Maybe if you slowed down for me

I could see you're only tellingLies, lies, lies

Breaking us down with yourLies, lies, lies

When will you learn

Instrumental

The little cracks they escalated

And before you know it was too late

For making circles and telling lies

You're moving too fast for me

And I can't keep up with you

Maybe if you'd slowed down for me

I could see you're only tellingLies, lies, lies

Breaking us down with yourLies, lies, lies

When will you learn

So plant the thought and watch it grow

Wind it up and let it go

The Power of Negative and Positive Thoughts….Where Does Your Power Lie?*

2008-05-30T03:50:00.000-07:00

…..*

Peace and Joy to all!

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Memorial Day….A Lesson in History Leads to Important Truth

2008-05-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Memorial Day in the United States and I had decided to take the time to look up the history of this honored day. I mean, I knew that it was a day we were to remember our service men and women who gave their lives while serving our country. But for some reason, this year I wanted to know more about this legal holiday that is recognized around our nation and is celebrated with parades and special events.

As I searched the seemingly unlimited Internet highway, I stumbled upon a little gem of a site that briefly explained the origin of Memorial Day. Originally this day was called “Decoration Day” since many women and men would decorate the graves of their loved ones who had died while serving our country.

Then I read how there were many stories that claimed to be the “actual beginnings” for the existence of Memorial Day, as well as those who had first recognized this day. What really touched me, however, was that this same site also mentioned one important truth that many people tend to forget. Not just in regards to Memorial Day, but also in regards to many circumstance or events that happen in and around the world today.

The truth that I read was this, “It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.” *

When I read this, I thought “WOW”! Not only was that a beautiful truth when celebrating Memorial Day, but it is a truth that can be applied to many other events or circumstances. Sometimes we tend to get lost in the “what’s”, “where’s”, “when’s”, and “why’s”. While being inquisitive can, at times, be beneficial, some people tend to loose focus on what is really important at a given moment.

Imagine for a moment another event or circumstance that this statement could apply to. One that I thought of was simply, “Life”. If this statement were in reference to “Life”, it would go like this: “It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Life was established. Life is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.”

I ask each of you to write this statement down and either post it up, carry it with you, or if you are feeling really wild, do both. The next time you find yourself in a situation where you are focusing on why something is the way it is, or who founded it first, think of this statement. Does all the past “when’s” and “why’s” really matter at this moment? Sometimes the answer may be yes. But sometimes, you may find that the past reasons do not matter as much as simply acknowledging and honoring a special event or circumstance as it is…..in that moment.

Hoping everyone had a nice Memorial Day weekend!!

* - quote was found on the site: www.usmemorialday.org/backgrnd.html (David Merchant)

Your life is a story….so what are you choosing to write?

2008-05-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

Much of what we believe and experience about our lives comes from years of conditioning and how we perceive and believe most situations. As a result, we tend to create stories that we tell ourselves about situations and moments we either create or are faced with.

So, what stories are you experiencing and writing today?

For me, I have a couple stories I will share with you that I am experiencing today. They include: “I am enjoying my new vehicle I picked up last night at the dealership” and “I am feeling very happy today”.

I happen to ask a friend I know what they were experiencing today and they proceeded to say the following, “I feel very down and out today and I am not sure why”. I then asked her, “Is that how you want to feel today?” and she replied, “Well, no”. I then asked her why she thought she felt down and out, and she thought for a moment and then started to tell me the reason, or what I like to refer to as the “story”. She said “I think I feel very down because…………….”

While what follows the “because” portion of her comment is relatively important, in reality it is her opinion, or the story she is telling herself about the situation. When we add anything to statements such as “I am……” or “This happened because……” we are adding our own beliefs and thoughts to our stories, and get this, these stories may or may not be true ultimately.

Some people are pessimists, or they naturally think of the worse case scenario in most situations that they are faced with. Now, imagine how all their stories are ending. Worst yet, some people even begin to experience and live out the story they have created, which can lead to stress, frustration, suffering, and even anger and resentment. For example, my friend said, “I feel very down today because I woke up and didn’t feel like going into my boring job”. Every time that my friend tells herself that story, or thought, how do you think she feels? Possibly frustrated, stressed, and even a little hopeless?

Now, what if she re-wrote her story to be more positive or inspiring? What if she said to herself, “I feel very down today about my boring job, but I will take steps to find a more challenging job”, or “I feel very down today and want to feel happy so I will do something that makes me happy”? If these were the stories my friend was writing for herself, how do you think those would leave her feeling? Probably not frustrated or stressed. She actually might feel more empowered and inspired.

I would like for you to ask yourself today, what kind of stories have I been writing lately? What stories do I want to write?

Be aware that you have the choice to create and write your own stories and endings to each and every situation that you come across, or are faced with. It is true that we get faced with situations that just get dealt to us (e.g. tragedy or illness), however, how we react to each situation is our choice and in our control. This can be a very empowering and even freeing realization.

I challenge each of you today, and the rest of this week, to look at some of the situations you are being faced with and ask yourself, “How do I perceive this situation”? Also ask yourself, “What kind of story am I attaching to this situation”? Then see if you can create and write a more inspiring ending that could be just as true, if not truer then the original ending.

Happy writing everyone!

Do you take things personally? If so, how is that working out for you?*

2008-05-16T06:27:00.001-07:00

There is a very common belief and perception out there in the world that drives and plagues many people’s daily lives. That perception is taking other people’s actions or comments personally. Some people take only certain types of comments personally and are able to fend off other types. However, some people take nearly every comment personally and that can cause suffering.

I believe that a person’s confidence level definitely effects how a person will process and react to other people’s actions or comments. Having a lower sense of self-confidence can mean someone will take more comments personally. For example, when I was younger I suffered a low sense of self-confidence and took nearly every comment personally. I recall times when I would be driving in traffic, and if someone cut me off, I would immediately get angry at that stranger and think “that jerk (or jerk’ess) meant to cut me off”. In reality, I had no idea why that stranger cut me off. Sure they were driving as if they were a NASCAR finalist, but there really could have been several reasons for their driving behavior including; “maybe they didn’t see me”, or “they have a family emergency to get to”. But at that time in my life, I took being cut-off by some stranger as a personal blow to me……*

Personally I had found that when my confidence grew and I developed a healthy self-image, I was taking actions and comments much less personally. I found myself thinking more along the lines of, “oh they must need to get somewhere urgently”. This comment leaves me free of any negative personal thoughts or blows to my self-image and self-esteem. If you do find yourself taking many things personally, try to take steps to boost your self-confidence, and witness yourself taking things less personal. A great place to start would be to take the free Self-Confidence Quiz that can be found in the right column of this blog.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Is our Sense of Sight a Gift or a Severe Limitation?

2008-05-13T14:06:00.000-07:00

Most people will look at this question and say, “Well of course it is a gift....I can’t imagine not having the ability to see”. However, it is important that while it may seem like a wonderful gift, those of us who do have the ability to “see” need to remember that our sight is extremely limiting in how we truly perceive the world. Ironically our vision, while some will argue is one of our more precious senses, is also one of the most deceiving of senses.

NEWSFLASH #1.....you are made up of 70% - 80% of water. Yep.....that fine quenching fluid that we all need in order to survive.

NEWSFLASH #2.....humans are made up of 99.9% of the same elements, and only .10% of our elements are different.

When I heard these statements, I decided to take a short and sweet crash course in the scientific realm of the human body. Granted this was a refresher course as I may have previously learned all about the human body somewhere along my “educational” journey. What I was reminded of, was that the human body is made up of atoms, and that the atoms work together to form molecules. Then the molecules work together to form organs. In addition to these fantastic facts, we are also made up of over 70% - 80% water.

Now, when you look at someone, or something, you don’t visually see the molecules or atoms hard at work. Nor do you see the water that encompasses well over half of our structure. What most people see is the physical perception of an image. For example, trees, flowers, houses, other humans, animals, etc. In addition to our sense of sight, another attribute that plays into our perceptions is our thoughts and how we process what we believe we are seeing.

So, when you realize what we are all really made up of, one can’t help but think, “Are my eyes deceiving me”? In many ways, yes they are. Then I took it a step further and thought, “And are they contributing to a sense of separateness that so many people in the world are experiencing today”?

I was recently challenged with the thought of blindness. I was told of a little girl who was born blind. At first, my initial reaction was “oh no, that poor little girl can’t see anything”. However, now my thoughts have changed to be “oh wow, maybe that little girl has been spared a sense that will no doubt cause a large amount of limitations and misperceptions in her life”.

There is no doubt some wonderful benefits to having a sense of sight, including watching sunsets or sunrises, seeing a flower that has bloomed, or admiring your loved one fast asleep. However, I ask you to recall these simple and extremely powerful facts every day……“you are made up of 70% - 80% water” and “humans are made up of 99.9% of the same elements, and only .10% of our elements are different”. If we all can recall what we truly are made of, and that we are all so similar, then maybe we can feel much more compassion for one another and project into the world a sense of oneness. Then just maybe, we all can work together to reveal the wonderfully peaceful world that truly exists within and all around us.

I will leave you with….and as John Lennon would sing……“Imagine all the people living life in peace….you may say I’m a dreamer…but I’m not the only one....I hope some day you’ll join us….and the world will live as one”.

Peace to all!

Got Gratitude? It Does a Body Good.

2008-05-09T09:41:00.001-07:00

Happy Friday everyone……as I was driving in my car this morning, I was stopped at a light and a woman with a stroller was crossing the street. Just above them, a couple birds flew overhead and chirped. In that moment, I was grateful for many things. I was grateful for babies, for mothers, for birds, and the blue sky.

Then the light turned green and all the cars around me took off as if we were in some sort of Indy car race. I then noticed that my body tensed up in my neck, shoulders and back. Then some mundane and negative thoughts entered into my mind, such as the office “to do list”.

I really didn’t think much of this since it had all become so routine for me. However, this morning, I realized something that I had nearly forgotten. The importance of gratitude. I was stopped at a second light and at that moment, I noticed an older man walking his dog along a sidewalk. I smiled as I recalled my dog and how grateful I am for dogs.

The light then turned green again and we all took off, nearly squealing our tires, yet again. This time, however, I observed the other drivers and myself, as if watching an episode of Cops. I was aware that my body again tensed up and the “to do list” thoughts returned in my mind. However, this time, while driving I thought about the things I saw earlier and was grateful for, such as babies, mothers, birds and dogs. As I focused on those grateful things, my body began to relax and feel more at peace. Then I sensed time slightly slowing down. Peace filled that moment and it felt wonderful.

The importance of taking time to recognize what we are grateful for should never be underestimated. Not only does being grateful help relax our minds and feel more joyful, but it also physically relaxes our bodies and has even been known to release hormones that promote the sensation of “pleasure”.

No matter how hectic or busy your life may be, take just a couple minutes each day and make a small list of things you are grateful for. Try to list at least 5 things, no matter how small (e.g. birds singing) or how large (e.g. human rights). When you think of each thing that you are grateful for, try to notice if your mind brings up any negative thoughts or memories. If a negative thought or memory arises, just notice it, and then let it go. Then focus again on those things you are grateful for, at that moment. Recognizing gratitude and listing what you are grateful for, will help you see your life, and the world, in a healthy and joyful perspective.

ENJOY……and have a fantastic weekend!

An “Aha” moment about Space.

2008-05-06T09:05:00.001-07:00

This weekend I had an “Aha” moment that I wanted to share with all of you. This “Aha” moment has to do with space.

Now when is the last time you thought about space? And not just the outer-space where other stars and galaxies exist, but also the space that surrounds each object, each person, each living thing. Even further, the thought of space that exists within each object, person, and living thing.

As I sat and thought about space for a moment this past weekend, I felt a sense of understanding at a level I never knew existed. I felt so much space that I could not comprehend the amount of space out there and I felt that was wonderful and amazing. I also felt that space was a sense of stillness and peace for me. I even became teary-eyed at the thought of the amount of space that surrounds all of the universe and the forms that exist. I realize that the amount of space that exists is so vast that it clearly is much larger then the amount of violence, war, illness, and natural disasters that exist in the world. Those adversities seem larger then they are because of the amount of noise they project. However, I realize that when we focus on the spaciousness around us, we feel a sense of peace and stillness. Through that spaciousness and peace, action will come. I realized that when I looked around, and as I saw birds and grass and trees, I acknowledged the space around each of them. Then I further realized that there is space within each of them.

We are all made of energy at our deepest scientific level and energy is movement. In order for anything to move (i.e. atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons), there has to be space for it in which to move. The sky, the universe, there is just so much space, that it is incomprehensible and yet extremely peaceful. To know that space exists more then anything else, and it is amazing and wonderful. And it is that space that we all, as humans, can and need to recognize exists in this world, this planet, our lives, and our forms. To also recognize it in our daily activities. There is space all around, and we are experiencing that consciously through our human forms. A wonderful and amazing realization.

So the next time you do anything, see anything, or think of anything, try to take a moment and recognize the space that surrounds and is within whatever you are doing or thinking about. You just might stumble across the peace and stillness that also exists, which is the consciousness living that is the purpose of every human being, every living object, and life itself.

Worried about $4 per Gallon for Gas? Have No Fear….Our Stimulus Checks are Near.*

2008-05-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

Many of us are seeing gas approach $4.00 per gallon and are nearly frozen in disbelief, as if watching some sort of movie with an unbelievable twist we didn’t see coming. However, one solution to that problem may be the economic stimulus checks that are going out as you read this. Much of the buzz I have been hearing from people is that they plan to use the stimulus checks to help pay for the higher gas prices that appear to be plaguing our cities and towns. Other people are not sure what to do with their stimulus checks. Some people plan to pay off some debt, some plan to save their money, while others plan to just go out and spend it, as the government hopes. Moreover, some people plan to diversify their checks by putting some in savings, some on debt, and spending some on themselves.

What are you going to do with your stimulus check? Struggling with that decision at all? Well, struggle no longer….* I would like to share an imperative rule I learned a couple of years ago about decision making and being stuck. Sometimes the right decision is not to make one at all, at least not at that moment. Sound ironic? It is. However, deciding not to make a decision is a decision in itself…..*

So the next time you struggle with what to do with some new found money, or any other kind of decision you need to make, stop and take a moment to clear your mind to make way for the “right” answer to surface. If the decision comes, fantastic. If it does not, don’t fret, it just may not be the right moment. Trust that in another moment the answer may come that is best for you and your decision.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. You can view this entire article by going to our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com and selecting the "Services" page. There you will find a link to a sample of a Higher-Self Living Paycheck, which will include this entire article.

NEW WEBSITE & SERVICE OFFERED!

2008-05-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

We are excited to share with you our new Higher-Self Coaching website. Yes, it is up and running as you read this post. Please check us out at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

In addition to a new website, we also offer a new service called Higher-Self Living Paychecks. This is a fantastic new service that can help boast your confidence and experience a more fulfilling lifestyle. Best of all, you can sample a Higher-Self Living Paycheck by visiting our site and going to the "Services" page. Starting tomorrow (May 2, 2008) you will find a link to a sample of a paycheck, which includes an informative and entertaining article, two step-by-step exercises used in coaching sessions, and a 50% coupon.

Please check our new site and services out today.
Thank you and enjoy!!

My Congo Sister and a Lesson in Compassion

2008-04-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share with you some wonderful news I received just a couple days ago. It is news about my new Congo sister, Zawadi Mande.

You may wonder how I have a Congo sister. I am a sponsor with the wonderful non-profit organization, Women for Women International (WFWI). I have even been fortunate enough to have met in person and briefly talked to the founder of WFWI, Zainab Salbi. This organization allows for sponsors to be matched up with a "sister" in one of nine countries that is effected by war, poverty, and malnutrition. I had chosen the Congo region as I feel drawn to that country, for some reasons that are unknown to me. As part of the sponsorship, you get an informational form about your sister and a small photograph of her.

My sister, Zawadi Mande was born in 1982 and has a common-law marriage. She has given birth to four children, however (and VERY UNFORTUNATELY), one of her little boy's has passed away. Her other children include two girls and another little boy. She also cares for her brother-in-law's two little boys. The form also states that Zawadi has not obtained any education and that they live in a non-residential building being used as a residence. They do not have any electricity and use candles and torches for light. They also don't have any running water and have to count on rivers, lakes, and ponds. My dear Zawadi does work on her family's land/farm, which excites me. However I then learn that her leg often hurts, her family is in poor health and they rarely get timely medical treatment because they cannot afford it. Zawadi also indicates that she has lost other family members to war, violence, or political oppression.

Now, here is where the lesson in compassion comes in. As Zawadi's sponsor sister, I will be providing her with a monthly financial income of approximately $20 US dollars. That will give her enough money to feed her family, get water, pay for education, get any medical treatment they may need, and training on various topics. I have to admit, as a result, I do feel such compassion for my sister Zawadi. I want to help her in so many ways as a fellow person and woman. I love that I am able to directly share and show compassion for another woman in an area of the world that appears to be less fortunate then I am, here in the States.

I have come to notice that feeling compassionate has changed my life in many ways. I feel more connected to others in the world and also more of a sense of peace. I even notice physical changes in my body when I do something compassionate. I feel an aliveness within me and warmth within my hands and feet.

Compassion is a wonderful emotion to experience and share. I ask each of you today to feel and share just a little compassion. Whether it be something small (e.g. holding the door for a stranger) or something more grand (e.g. becoming a sponsor for WFWI). I believe that if we all could just share a little compassion for other people and other living creatures, including our dear planet, then this world would become a more wondrous and peaceful place to live in.

Best wishes to all!

A Story that Warms Your Heart

2008-04-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

I was sent this story and just loved it. It warmed my heart and soul and I wanted to share it with all of you. The author is unknown to me, but I am grateful that whoever wrote this shared it.

ENJOY!

"As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.." His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honours. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favourite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favourite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? Just "do it". Random acts of kindness, I think they call it!"

Hope you have a warm and fuzzy day today.

It’s that time of year for “Spring Cleaning”….Mental Spring Cleaning that is.

2008-04-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

For most people, Spring is finally in the air. I for one am happy to see that Mother Nature has decided to finally pay attention to our calendar and share with us some of her “warmer” gifts. Such as sunny warm breezes and refreshing rainfalls, versus blistery winds and falling snowflakes. I can see the beauty of buds forming on the trees and several birds singing to the sunrise. Now, speaking of Spring time....one of the things that most people think about and plan for is spring cleaning. In most cases, that means cleaning our houses, yards, and closets. However, I would like to share with you another form of “spring cleaning” that I personally conduct every season on myself. A form of mental spring cleaning.

Just as dust accumulates in our homes over time, our minds can collect “dust” so to speak. This “dust” can fog our minds and prevent us from thinking as clearly as a crystal blue Caribbean ocean. One of the most common thoughts we have, which seems to fog our mind up, is our ability to realize that we have full control of our actions and our lives. Many people tend to give up control in two major ways. The first is giving up control to circumstance, and the other is giving up control to another person.

Some examples of giving up control to circumstance include: “I can’t go to your party”, “I have to go to the store”, and “I should clean the house”. Even I have used these excuses myself from time to time. However, I realized that they left me feeling powerless. In reality, and unless someone is actually threatening you bodily harm, more empowering phrases would include “I choose to”, “I won’t be”, “I am going to”, and “I will”.

Examples of giving up control to another person include: “I want James to love me more”, “I want my company to give me a raise”, and “I want Casey to admit he was wrong”. In every single one of these examples, the control of the outcome is given to someone else. Leaving a person to feel helpless and even victimized. More empowering phrases would include: “I want to feel more love”, “I want to make more money”, and “I want to believe I did the right thing”. The more empowering statements can give someone a clearer picture to the problem and as a result, a clear solution may surface. In addition, the control is not given to a specific person or organization. Someone may realize that there may be several ways and options to receive what they desire or need.

In conclusion, I would encourage you to mentally “spring clean” your mind, as well as your home or yard. The following tip can help you to get started today.

Mental Spring Cleaning Exercise:

1. Write down a list of “I can’t” statements you have.

2. Now look to your left and right to see if someone is
threatening you bodily harm. If not, move onto #3.

3. Re-write the statements to read “I choose not to”.

4. Review both lists to see which one leaves you
feeling more empowered and less helpless.

ENJOY....and BEST WISHES TO ALL!

I Think....Therefore I Am.....NOT!

2008-04-16T08:39:00.000-07:00

Hello to all,

In the last few weeks I have been aware of, and practicing, a realization from my studies with spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle. This realization has allowed me to feel more awakened, more enlightened, and more at peace. Naturally, I wanted to share this with all of you.

I use to love the famous quote by the philosopher, Descartes, "I think, therefore I am". However, my recent realization has led me to question this ever famous quote. I think a more appropriate quote would read "I think...therefore I am human", or an even more enlightened person may say "I think...therefore I am experiencing life through a human form".

Regardless of where you fall, or what you believe, nearly every single one of us thinks. Also, most people today believe that everything we do and feel requires us to "think". For example, when we wake up in the morning many of us may think about how we just slept, or how our new day will begin. During the day, we may think about how the morning went, what we got done, or didn't get done. Then many of us may think about how the evening will go and what plans we have, if any. In the evening we may think about how our entire day went, and how our evening will finish up.

Thinking is a function of our minds and I truly have come to believe that thinking is something that happens to us as human beings, and not something that "is" us. For instance, I know someone who is interviewing for a new job. They had received a call from a Recruiter who wanted to set up an in-person interview. The Recruiter was impressed with the candidate's resume and as a result felt they might be a good fit for the company. The candidate was interested, however they were leery of the drive, and rightfully so. They expressed this to the Recruiter, but also mentioned that they would like to set up the in-person interview. However, when the candidate called back with a date and time, they got the Recruiter's voice-mail and left a message. As time began to pass, and no call was received, the candidate started to think about the Recruiter and the call over and over again. Their mind just went into worry-mode. They started to doubt the Recruiter's interest and then they even started to doubt their own abilities. The candidates thoughts went from "I am an impressive candidate" to "I may not be good enough for the job after all".

Now, in reality this same candidate had gotten many accolades for their work and even won an "Employee of the Quarter" award. In fact, if you really want to get deep into the scientific explanations, physicists state that in reality we are all made up of billions and billions of atoms, which further boils down to energy.

Never the less, it is when we start to believe in our negative and compulsive thoughts that we get into trouble. However, if we truly see thinking as a function that occurs to us as humans, and not who we truly are in reality, then we can free ourselves from some of the limited prison walls that our thinking minds have enclosed around us from years of unconditioned labeling.

Please take the time, as often as possible, to do the following exercise. This exercise will help you to see that thinking is a function that you can use as a powerful tool versus believing that you are what you think.

Free your identity from your thoughts exercise:

1) Start to begin to listen to your thinking mind, possibly a voice inside your head that judges, complains, compares, likes, dislikes, and speculates.

2) Become aware, or the watcher, of your mind and thoughts.

3) Pay special attention to those thoughts that are repetitive.

4) Try not to judge those thoughts, just notice them.

5) As you notice the thoughts, some of them may begin to weaken and lose their power since you are not feeding them with more thoughts or identifying with them.

6) A deep feeling of presence from within you may then arise and you may feel a true sense of joy and peace.

Please be patient with yourself when doing this exercise. Over time, you should see and feel a shift happen deep within you.

ENJOY......AND PEACE TO ALL!

Who is your "Everybody"?

2008-04-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share another simple, yet effective, tool that can help you to realize who your "everybody" truly is.

Many people will talk in generalizations and one of the most popular generalizations we use from time to time is our "everybody" line. For example, I use to catch myself either saying or internally thinking "oh well everybody I know does this"....or "Everybody will think this way of me".....and the list goes on. Some people have used this line so many times that they don't even realize they are using it. The unfortunate thing about that, is how destructive that can be.

Some people may internally torment themselves for days and even year after an embarrassing event, or unfortunate mistake. For example, some may say to themselves, "I can't believe I did that, everyone laughed at me", or "Everyone thinks I'm an idiot for saying what I said". Then, what is even more unfortunate are those thousands of dreams or wishes that some people have not pursued or were left unfulfilled all because of their fear of "what everybody will think" of them.

Now, if we all took just a little time to actually think about and write down who our "everybody" is....my guess is that, like me, your list will be infinitely small. Please take the time to do the following exercise, preferably on a daily basis. The results over time will help you to free yourself from the internal fear of what "everyone" will do or think of you.

Free from your "Everybody" exercise:

1. Write down who you actually think about when you think or say "everybody".

2. Look the list over again and write down an actual example of a time that each person did say, or do, something that left you feeling hurt or conditional.

3. Make a new list of just those people who actually said, or did, something to you that was hurtful or conditional.

4. Now, think of the millions of people who exist in the world, in your country, in your state, in your town. Realize that your list does not actually include everybody in the world, or even everybody in your town.

5. Repeat this every time you find yourself either thinking or saying "I can't because of what everybody will think".

Best wishes to all and have a safe weekend!

If We Were a Global Village

2008-04-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

I was sent a very interesting presentation that I felt moved enough to share with all of you.

"If you could fit the entire population of the world into a village consisting of 100 people, maintaining the proportions of all the people living on Earth, that village would consist of:

57 Asians

21 Europeans

14 Americans (North, Central and South)

8 Africans

There would be:

52 women and 48 men

30 Caucasians and 70 non-Caucasians

89 heterosexuals and 11 homosexuals

6 people would possess 59% of the wealth and they would all come from the USA

80 would live in poverty

70 would be illiterate

50 would suffer from hunger and malnutrition

1 would be dying

1 would be being born

1 would own a computer

1 (yes, only one) would have a university degree

If we looked at the world in this way, the need for acceptance and understanding would be obvious. But consider again the following:

If you woke up this morning in good health, you have more luck than one million people, who won't live through the week.

If you have never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture, were not close to death from starvation, then you are better off then 500 million people.

If you can go to your place of worship without fear that someone will assault or kill you, then you are luckier than 3 billion (that's right) people.

If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 70% of the world's population.

If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet, and a few coins in your purse, you are one of 8 of the privileged few amongst the 100 people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married, you're a rare individual.....

And so?

WORK like you don't need the money.

LOVE like nobody has ever hurt you.

DANCE like nobody is watching.

SING like nobody is listening.

LIVE as if this was paradise on Earth."

Please feel free to share this with many others whom you care and love.

Best always!

Shannon

Struggling with a Personal Change? Do as Turtles Do.

2008-04-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

Recently I have heard many people say that they are trying to make some sort of change. However, in most cases, making a change is no simple task. In fact, most people end up not changing the very thing they set out to change. This has left many people feeling frustrated, hopeless, and with a sense of having failed. Some people are trying to change a physical aspect of their body. For example, several people have mentioned that they are trying to lose weight and eat a healthier diet. While others may be trying to change a characteristic or an aspect of their personality, such as becoming more optimistic or having more patience.

Now, as much as I would love to say I have a PhD from the University of Change, I myself have struggled with change. A few years ago I woke up to a bloated belly. I brushed it off as “that time of month” or “I must have ate something that wasn’t off the American Heart Association List”. However, I realized two weeks later, that this bloated belly had taken up permanent residence on my body. Another change I had struggled with was my sense of patience. I had prided myself on having patience, however, after about one minute of being in a traffic jam, I was ready to become Rambo and blow everyone out of my way. Thus, I had decided I wanted to drop the bloated belly and become much more patient.

At first I jumped right in with both feet. I thought to myself, “OK we are going to exercise every day for 2 hours and then I will take deep breaths while driving and be very patient”. I thought it was that simple. Like the flip of a switch. However, about three days later, I was cursing at the treadmill after five minutes of jogging, and I was honking my car horn at the last daredevil who cut me off. What did I do wrong? Why hadn’t my new changes taken hold?

Then I realized it was because I had not taken “Turtle Steps” as part of my transformation. One of my mentor’s, Martha Beck, had introduced me to “Turtle Steps”. The premise is pretty simple, and extremely effective. All that someone needs to do is come up with a change they want to make, and then turn it into a goal. Then they take that goal and cut it in half. Then take that goal, and cut it in half again. Do this until the goal feels ridiculously easy. So I tried the Turtle Steps theory and cut my goal in half, again, again and again until something in me clicked. I felt a sense of, “Oh yes, we can do that for sure”. So I set out to accomplish my new goal, and not only did I keep up the regime for months, but I also was enjoying that time. So the next time you find yourself seeking to make a change, set up Turtle Steps and then hold on to your seat.

Turtle Steps to Successful Change:

1. Create a goal you want to accomplish.
2. Now cut that goal in half, and then in half again.
3. Continue until the goal is ridiculously easy.

4. Implement that easy goal for at least four days.

Best wishes and peace to all always!!

"A New Earth" and a New Way of Thinking

2008-03-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share with you a couple of things that I just think are super fantastic. Even more, both of these great finds are FREE!

The first is an online class many of you may have heard of. I wanted to encourage everyone to sign-up and tune-in for Eckhart Tolle's and Oprah's online class of "A New Earth". It is never to late to tune-in and previous classes are available for viewing and downloading. The online course is every Monday night from 9:00pm - 10:30pm EST. I am re-reading the book along with the class and my life is really changing in ways I have never experienced, and I was pretty happy to begin with.

You can find out more information and sign-up by going to this link:

http://www.oprah.com/index.jhtml

The second great find I wanted to share with you is Byron Katie's "The Work". I have been using her work with some of my coaching and it has really made an impact on many others and their ways of thinking, including other coaches.

Also, this Work is a great tool to use in conjunction with studying "A New Earth". There are a couple worksheets available for you to view and download and use. The link for them is below:

http://www.thework.com/thework.asp

Both of these wonderful teachings are priceless and will help anyone realize how wonderful life truly is, as is. They both will challenge your ways of "thinking" and help you to remove obstacles you are unconsciously putting up for yourself.

In addition, I practice both of these techniques daily and if anyone has any questions, please feel free to send me an email and I would love to help you better understand these life changing techniques.

ENJOY!!

Feeling "Blah" Today.....Escape Now !

2008-03-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

Many people experience days where they express as, "feeling blah". So that got me thinking....what exactly is "feeling blah"? What I have figured out is that "feeling blah" can mean different feelings for different people.

Some people use the term "blah" when they are feeling down and out, or even upset or depressed. Others use the term more loosely and just experience feelings of indifference or lacking excitement and fun. In addition, some people try to analyze where the feeling of being "blah" is coming from, while others just accept it as it is.

Even I use to express feelings of "blah-ness" years ago, and as I recall, it was not a pleasant feeling at all. What I would like to share with all of you are some helpful tips (one of which is simply the photo above) that can help you to escape your feelings of "blah-ness":

1) Just take a moment and look at the picture I have posted along with this blog. Try to only to focus on that picture. What do you see? A beautiful sunset, a cute little puppy, a warm beach shoreline. Notice any memories or feelings that arise in you while you focus on this picture.

2) Take a moment to be still and connect with your inner space, or peace. Take a deep breath and focus on your breath going in and then going out. Notice how your body is nourished with the fresh air going in, and then how refreshing it feels to expel that air. When you truly focus on your breath for only a moment, a sense of relaxation and peace may overcome you and your body.

3) Write down your ideal day. Take a minute or two and write down what an ideal day (or dream day) would look like, and play out for you. If you could do anything or be anywhere, where would that be? What would you be doing? Imagine doing that very thing, or being in that very place. Now look to see if there is any way that you can take something from your ideal day and creatively incorporate it into your current moment? For example, if you imagine relaxing in a hot jacuzzi with candle light, then maybe later in the evening you can take a bath and light a candle or two. Another example could be, if you imagined living in a large new home with beautiful furniture, to go out and buy one small thing that could represent your ideal home (e.g. a figurine or a fancy glass or vase).

4) Buy yourself a small bouquet of bright flowers and place them in a room you will spend most of your time in today.

There are just a few ideas and tips that you could use and practice in order to escape your feelings of being "blah". I want to point out that if you try any of the tips above, even if it lasted for just a moment (i.e. seconds or minutes), realize that during those moments you were not experiencing or feeling "blah". You were either busy smiling at a nice picture, a nice bouquet of flowers, or figuring out your ideal day.

The world if full of moments.....choose wisely how to fill and experience each of your moments.

Best wishes to all always!!

The Greeks Were Onto Something....Eudaimonism

2008-03-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

I will admit that I was not the most inspired history student that ever stepped foot on earth. Nor am I listed in the World’s Guinness Book for having the world’s best memory. Therefore, much of what I had learned in school about history and humanities has seemingly escaped me.

Recently, I stumbled upon an article that sparked my interest. This article was about eudaimonia, which comes from the Greek word for happiness. More specifically, eu means “good” and daimon means “spirit”. As my eyes swallowed each word, I had come to learn a very brief lesson in Greek history. Apparently, Greeks believed that every child born was sanctified with a personal good daimon, which represented their most gifted possible expressions and talents. The Greeks further believed that the personal daimon within each child was revealed by cracking away an outer layer of cheap material. This got me thinking…..how true I believed this to be, well, metaphorically speaking.

I do believe that we each hold a personal daimon. That each of us possesses talents and beliefs that are to serve to guide us in expressing the best within each of us. I also believe that we each need to crack away some of our “outer-layers” in order to find the golden talents within. The “outer-layer” may be in the form of limiting beliefs and/or negative self-talk that we bestow upon ourselves.

I admit, I use to have an outer-layer in which I had to crack through to find my hidden talents and strengths. In fact, years ago when I was younger I loved to draw and create art. One day there was a Halloween drawing contest in my sixth grade classroom. When I thought about entering the contest, I heard an instant negative voice inside my head saying “are you kidding….you think you are good at art, but you really aren’t….what if you lose?” However, a friend of mine convinced me that I should go for it. So I did enter that contest, and out of 25 other students, I won first place. That day had confirmed for me a natural talent that I did indeed possess.

I encourage each of you to believe that you hold a personal eudaimon which can help guide you in your personal growth and reveal your hidden talents.

Below is a little exercise that can help you to tap into your personal eudaimon.

Tapping into your Eudaimon for your Hidden Talents

1) Take a little time one afternoon or evening and grab a couple pieces of paper and a pencil or pen.

2) Then write down every talent or quality that you wish you had. Include even ones that may seem absurd or out of reach (those are often the ones that come from your personal eudaimon).

3) Once you are finished, take another piece of paper and write down all the times that you won recognition for something in your past, as well as writing down things that you enjoy doing so much that you lose track of time.

4) Now, compare each list and identify those that match. What is left is a list of your hidden talents.

Now go explore them and see what flourishes.

Wishing everyone a HAPPY EASTER!!!

Silence is Golden Rule

2008-03-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

Hello and HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY everyone,

I wanted to share a little rule that reaps huge benefits. It is the "Silence is Golden Rule". Many people experience thoughts inside their head as a form of self-talk. Some may even have a constant stream of dialogue as if someone pressed play on their inner-recorder. Much of this inner communication is accompanied with labels, assumptions, and judgments.

In fact, a wise mentor had recently stated that most psychologists agree that 98% of our thoughts are useless and repetitive. An amazingly high percentage that I can hardly comprehend.

So what can we do to help lower the useless repetitive thoughts that we encounter on a daily basis? We can apply the "Silence is Golden Rule". In fact, I try to practice this daily myself. This rule is very simple and the steps are below:

1) At any moment during the day, stop and observe your thoughts. What are you thinking of? What is the tone of the thought? Are your thoughts negative or stressful in nature? Are they repetitive?

2) Then take a deep breath and for just a couple seconds, or a minute if possible, try to think of nothing. Imagine that the thoughts you had running in your mind were on a spool of paper that you are able to pick up and throw into an imaginary drawer.

3) Sit in silence for just a moment and observe the silence. How does that feel? Pay attention to your body's reaction to the silence. Does it feel more relaxed, or calm?

OK, now you can open that drawer back up if you want and continue running your inner tape of commentary, if you wish.

Another great opportunity for this rule is to try to use it during a conversation with another person, or group of people. Notice if there are moments of silence in-between conversations or comments. How do those moments feel? Sometimes a light of clarity can come from such moments of silence.

So the next time you experience a moment of silence, whether that be alone or in a group of others, ask yourself before you chime in.....is your thought or comment worth breaking that golden silence? If the answer is "Yes", then by all means....speak up, or think up. If your answer is "No", or even "Maybe", then hold off for just one more moment and appreciate that in that moment the silence is golden.

Warm wishes to all! :-)

"WHO ARE YOU?" - This Video Offers an Explanation

2008-03-13T13:33:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone,

I had been made aware of this video today and I was just brought to tears at the end of it. I felt so moved I almost could not contain myself. For those of you who are interested in spirituality and are searching for who are you within, this offers an explanation that I just happen to completely believe in.

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/229

I would love to hear any comments some of you may have after watching the video.
Best wishes always,
Shannon

The Most Important Exercise of Your Life: Just Breath

2008-03-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

In today’s world, many people have at some point in their lives felt the importance of exercising. Doctor’s from all over the world ask patients about their exercise habits and the importance of exercising regularly. There are also hundreds of trainers, tapes, and DVD’s containing exercise routines and tips, allowing for a wide range of options to meet various individual needs.

Some exercise routines are recommended by many, while others may feel they are harmful. Then there are also some professionals who believe that too much exercise can even be harmful. For example, prolonged strenuous exercise can lower an individual’s immune system.

However, there is one form of exercise that is universally accepted by nearly every doctor and every other professional out there in the world. This exercise has been proven not only to be physically beneficial, but also mentally beneficial. That exercise is, “breathing”. Several studies have shown that taking the time to effectively breathe can improve your physical health, as well as your mental health. For example, breathing becomes restricted when someone feels frustrated, angry, or stressed out. Breaths become shorter and more shallow, resulting in restricting the function of our lungs.

Taking time to breathe, and being fully aware of your breathing, creates a space in your mind. At that moment the space exists, your thoughts subside and your body begins to relax, allowing for a feeling of presence.

Some people may brush breathing off as effective since they may not receive an instant “Aha” moment, nor a sudden rush of gratification. However, with regular practice, taking time to breath can and will change a person’s life. An inner transformation occurs and allows for a sense of wonder and inspiration. Things in the world may appear differently to them, more beautiful and pure.

Therefore, if you don’t include “breathing” as part of your exercise routine, please start today, and watch the world unfold before your eyes.

Effective Breathing Exercise

1. Sit somewhere comfortable and relax your body and clear your mind.
2. Become aware of your breath.
3. Notice the sensation of each breath. Pay attention to the air moving in and out of your body.
4. Then pay attention to how your chest and abdomen expand and contract with every breath, in and out.
5. Do this for just two or three breaths, preferably several times a day.

Over time your world will change in miraculous ways. ENJOY!

Recommending PENELOPE!

2008-03-06T06:26:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to go see a movie that contains one of my favorite actors, James McAvoy. That movie was Penelope. This movie ended up being very fun, funny and best of all, it has a WONDERFUL message (and lesson) about the importance of Self-Love and Self-Image.

As a Self-Image Life Coach, I definitely wanted to recommend this movie. Please go check it out at theater near you. I would love any other comments from people who do go check this flick out.

GO ENJOY!

Is Your Attitude Worth Catching?

2008-03-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. I wanted to share something with all of you that was given to me by a new dear friend.

My new friend sent the following paragraph to me:

William James, one of the founders of modern psychology, said, "The greatest discovery of this generation is that a human being can alter their life by altering their attitude." I believe this with all my heart, and over the years have seen it happen countless times. What most people fail to realize is that your attitude not only impacts your happiness and your success, it also can impact the happiness and success of all the people around you...your family, your friends, and your peers at work. Attitudes truly are contagious, and from time to time we need to ask ourselves..."is mine worth catching?"

I just loved this paragraph. Especially the last statement about attitudes being contagious and "is mine worth catching?"

I tested this out personally the other day, and found that attitudes could most definitely be "catching". I realized on the phone with a loved one, and after having been in a traffic jam, that my attitude was less then desirable. As a result, my loved one replied with an "attitude" of their own. Fortunately, I realized this and then adjusted my attitude to be more pleasant. Then, I decided to test out a more positive attitude. When I entered an office the other day, I made an effort to have a very positive attitude. Initially some of the other people in the office looked at me as if I were on some sort of drug. However, I did notice that after a little time, two of the other people in the office, who appeared to have sour attitudes, had lightened their tone and their attitude.

As a result, I do believe that attitudes can in fact be catching. So the next time you are around other people, ask yourself, "is mine worth catching?" If not, then try to adopt one that is.

Hope in the Mist of Wrong-doing

2008-02-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

Recently, local news has broken out about a Detroit City scandal. Some of this news has even reached the national news circuit with ABC World News airing a segment last night.

As I was made aware of this situation, my heart was saddened by the news of the scandal. However, during the unfortunate turn of events that has added to the already ailing Detroit area (e.g. currently also holding one of the highest unemployment rates and foreclosure rates), I heard someone make a comment that shed a light on a sign of hope. Hope for the future of Detroit.The hope I speak of came in the form of a statement by our former Deputy Police Chief, Gary Brown. During a small interview, it was revealed that Mr. Gary Brown was wrongfully fired from his position as Deputy Police Chief. He was investigating allegations of misconduct regarding the Detroit City Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick. As a result of recently released documents, it does in fact appear that Mr. Gary Brown was wrongfully discharged. Prior to this, he held honors in his position including a Purple Heart award.

I began to feel compassion for Mr. Gary Brown and what he had been going through. The manner in which he was fired, the court hearings he participated in, and how he is now in Florida as a result. I expected Mr. Brown to be very angry and spiteful toward the mayor and the city of Detroit. However, what I witnessed was a very confident man who believed in himself and in the city of Detroit, despite the fact of the recent scandalous events. In fact, he told the interviewer that he would like to come back to Detroit and run for Sheriff’s Office.

I found this to be a very inspiring moment as I watched someone who was “wronged” and yet he was still finding “hope” in his future.

Finding a little hope in a situation where someone feels they were either hurt or “wronged” by another can be very empowering. Understandably there may be a time to work through the anger and hurt feelings of being betrayed or disrespected. However, eventually finding some bit of hope, and then focusing most of one’s energy on that hope, can result in optimistic feelings and rewarding results.

Hopeful wishes everyone!

Paradise is in the Eyes of the Beholder

2008-02-26T14:03:00.000-08:00

Recently I went on vacation to the tropical island of Jamaica. During this wonderful vacation, I had realized something that I wanted to share with all of you. That is, “paradise is in the eyes of the beholder”.

My vacation began like many other past vacations. I woke up before sunrise, scrambled to finish packing, forgot something I could not remember, and then was dropped off at the airport where I was to catch a wonderful plane that was going to whisk me away to my warm tropical paradise.

During our ride to the resort, we passed by a couple of towns in Jamaica. Just as I was looking at several beaten down shacks, that some natives called home, I heard another passenger mention something to the driver. She said, “Do you know you live in paradise?” The driver then replied, “Yes, that is why I don’t leave here”.

I thought to myself, “Are they looking out the same windows that I am? Aren’t they seeing what I am seeing?” I wasn’t seeing a paradise. All that I could see where very poor conditions; run down shacks and buildings. I began to wonder if the resort we were being taken too was just a type of “mirage in the desert”.

Then, something occurred to me. Who was I to feel sorry for all those natives who lived in those shacks or worked in those run down buildings. In fact, many of the people I saw near and in those shacks appeared to be well dressed and happy. Many had smiles on their faces.

I realized that many of them probably agreed that they do in fact live in paradise. Jamaica is full of so much foliage and beauty. Every shade of green represented in every tree or plant. Many beautiful and exotic birds and animals roamed the wooded hills of the island.

Then I knew, I wasn’t looking at shacks but at homes of others who may very well love their land and enjoy their “homes”.

We all have the ability and choice to see the “paradise” that lies around us in our environment. Whether that is a plethora of trees and wooded areas, a sandy beach partnered with an ocean, a snowy winter wonderland, or a withered and small structure that has been called home to its occupant. Each of us has the ability to truly see and feel the paradise that does exist around us. We just have to choose to see it.

I Focus, Therefore I Am

2008-02-14T05:43:00.001-08:00

First things first, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! May your inner cupid bring you self-love, and your outer cupid bring you chocolate in a heart-shaped box.

Today, I had a thought occur to me that I wanted to share with everyone. As I was driving this morning in my car, I decided to observe what I was focusing on. What was my goal? Normally my focus (and goal) is on getting to my desitination, in a hurry.

So often, many of us are in a hurry to get where we want to go. We get caught up with the hustle and bustle of life. I realized that whether I am driving, or someone else is driving, most of the time our focus is on how quickly we want to get to where we are going.

As a result of focusing on "getting to a destination in a hurry", I realized that my body physically responds to my focus. Now, I don't know about you, but when I feel as though I am in a hurry, my body tenses up with a sense of urgency. A sense of "hurry hurry up". I physically feel tension in my neck, shoulders, and upper back. Some people may feel tension in different parts of their body, such as in their jaw or stomach. I ask you to pay attention to where you hold your tension the next time you feel a sense of stress or urgency.

This morning, however, as I was listening to more relaxing music, I realized that I had a choice of what my focus would be. Was my focus going to be on "getting to get to my destination in a hurry"? Or, was my focus going to be different. I had decided to focus on something more worthwhile. My new focus was going to be on "arriving to my destination safely and comfortably".

As soon as I realized my new focus, I noticed a sense of calmness overcome my body. Some of the tension began to fade away. So I made a point to focus on my new goal during my driving journey. As a result, I did arrive at my destination much more relaxed, calm, and physically energized.

The tip for today is that what we choose to focus on effects how we emotional feel and physical react. I challenge you to realize what you are focusing on in a particular moment. For example, are you focusing on a more stressful goal (e.g. "hurry" to your destination), or are you focsing on a more positive and peaceful goal (e.g. arriving "safe and comfortably"). If you are able to realize you can choose your goals and focus, the results will astound you.

Best wishes to all!

Be Greedy for What Lies Within

2008-02-08T10:32:00.000-08:00

I recently came across a quote that just stopped me in my tracks. The quote reads as follows:

“Why do so many….settle for so little? I don’t understand why they are not greedy for what is inside them.” - Jack Gilbert (Poet)

Have you just stopped in your tracks at that quote? Are you greedy for what is inside you? I ask you to please be greedy!

I know that I am very greedy for what is inside of me and I look forward every day to finding something new about myself that allows me to add to my inner-wealth. If I could be granted a wish, it would be for every single one of you to be greedy for what is inside of you. There is a plethora of fantastic qualities that you can tap into within yourself. I truly believe that. All you have to do is believe that they exist deep inside of you and then dig down deep to locate them and express them.

Sometimes those fantastic qualities are covered up, or even blocked, by self-doubt and past pain. However, if everyone realized that beneath the hurt and pain lies beautiful and loving qualities that they can experience and express, then perhaps long overdue healing could finally be dealt with and let go.

Some effective ways to deal with self-doubt and emotional healing include: journaling, meditation, and positive affirmations.

So today I challenge you to become greedy for what’s inside of you, because what lies within you is your most wealthy asset.

"Super Tuesday" and Values

2008-02-06T13:46:00.000-08:00

This past Tuesday was, what most are calling, “Super Tuesday”. It is the day in which the greatest number of states hold primary elections during a presidential election year.

While I was skimming through my selection of television viewing options, a story caught my eye that peaked my interest. A reporter was sharing the results of some of the primary elections, when a list appeared on the screen. It was a list that showed how people were selecting their favorite presidential candidate’s. One standard that popped out at me was, “Values”. Some people were selecting their favorite candidates based on how well their personal values matched another candidate’s values.

As a result, I then began to think of what my values where, and was I living by them. Values are extremely important to define and live by. Most people will work for and fight for a genuine value. Believe it or not, I have met people who haven’t even defined their values, more or less live by them. I have also met people who have defined their values, but do not necessarily live by them. As a result most of these people have felt lost, hopeless, and worst of all, as sense of inner-disconnection.

Actually, I will admit that I had not really consciously defined what my values were until just a few years ago. Sure I lived by some basic values, such as being considerate toward others and being a law abiding citizen. However, I too felt a “disconnect” within myself. That is, until I defined my values as a person. One day I had sat down and listed beliefs and behaviors that I valued. Some of them included; unconditional love, non-judgmental attitude, and honesty. However, I soon realized that defining my values and actually living by them were two totally different things.

I realized one day that while I valued honesty, there were times I was not being totally honest. I was one of those people who would tell “little white lies.” I didn’t think much about this until someone had pointed out to me that any type of lie is considered being dishonest. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I was not living by one of my values. From that day on, I committed to truly living by my values, and no longer act in a way that contradicts them.

As a result I can “honestly” say that I do feel much more joy and a sense of inner-connection within myself. I believe that you too can feel more whole if you define your values and then live by them.

Warm wishes to all!

Happiness Decided Poem

2008-02-01T17:36:00.000-08:00

Hello,

I realized that I wanted to share a poem that is near and dear to my heart. I wrote it nearly three years ago, in February 2005. I remember that morning well. I woke up to the sun shining in my room and calmness in the air. As I got out of bed and began my day, I felt as if there was some sort of presence that now occupied my soul. It was as if I really woke up for the first time in my life. I had some how come to realize that morning, along with the new presence, that I was in control of my own life and that I could decide on happiness. I didn't have to just hope that I would feel happy, as if by a stroke of luck. As a result, I wrote a poem that came to me that very morning.

I recite this poem nearly every morning, unless I consciously decide to have a sad day, for example if I am grieving a loss. My hope is that you will use this poem as a daily reminder that you too can decide on happiness.

Happiness Decided

I awoke this morning
Pondering my fate
Magically a decision emerged
On this very date

I will finally free myself
From circumstance and chance
For I have felt as a slave
To life's haphazard dance

No longer a passenger
Will I be
With coincidence my fortune
And commander at sea

I will greet each morning
Eagerly with a smile
And engulf tangible energy
To last all the while

A moment of time
I will then capture
Determining to commit
To a day happily ever after

A day filled with significant hopes
And relished small pleasures
Believing all the while
This world has invaluable treasures

And if I stumble upon
A day that is plagued
With unwelcome episodes
Entrapping me with dread

I will take a moment
And smile with glee
For I know in my heart
Someone watches over me

Someone who helps me
Stay focused and true
To the commitment I made
In the early morning dew

Then as the day
Evolves into the night
I will again smile
At the north star so bright

And be forever thankful
For all that I possess
My family and friends
And pursuit for happiness

Misfortune and hopelessness
Will no longer fill my day
For I now know happiness
Is a decision away

Enjoy and happy wishes to all!!

Singing the "Winter Blues?"

2008-01-24T06:22:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about you, but I love to listen to music and I even enjoy singing a little here and there. Mind you, I am no American Idol, but I still like to accompany some of my favorite singers, as if I were the perfect back-up singer for them.

At this time of year, I know many people who have said they are “singing the winter blues”. During the Spring, Summer, and even Fall months, most people feel more energized with longer daylight hours and signs of nature’s creatures stirring about. However, during the winter months, many people experience much less sunlight, bone chilling cold temperatures, and nearly no signs of life by nature’s critters. Even if you don’t live in a state that is plagued with chilling temperatures and sky scraping snow mounds, most people receive much less sunlight during the winter months, which can lead to experiencing “winter blues”. Those who suffer from the “winter blues” may feel more lethargic, more moody, and even experience self-blame.

As a self-image life coach, I am going to share with you some very simple and effective tactics to help combat the “winter blues”:

1) Exercise – Studies have shown that people who engage in at least 30 minutes of cardio exercise can experience increased energy levels and happier moods. This is due to an increase in serotonin levels, which regulates mood and energy in the body. So, whether you pop in that aerobic DVD or hop on that treadmill, finding just a few minutes a day to exercise can help keep away those “winter blues.”

2) Diet – Another effective way to steer clear of “winter blues” is to eat more complex carbohydrates (e.g. grains & rice) and simple carbohydrates (e.g. fruits). Those individuals who eat more junk foods (e.g. soft drinks, cookies, chips, etc.) may experience a momentary increase in their serotonin levels, but then their energy level will drop significantly, leaving them feeling lethargic. So grab a nutri-grain bar instead of a cookie, and enjoy prolonged energy.

3) Meditation – Take just five to ten minutes a day and actively meditate. This can leave your body feeling relaxed and refreshed. For example, when I meditate, I envision myself on a warm and sunny beach. The thoughts of being on a beach lead to a physical reaction in my body, as if I were on a beach. The result is a more pleasurable feeling and sensation.

4) Morning Sleep Schedule – A final effective way to avoid the “winter blues”, if you are not a morning person, is to adjust your sleeping patterns to the schedule of the sun. In other words, try to wake up as the sun is rising. Many people sleep-in well after the sun has risen, and this cuts down the amount of sunlight they receive in a given day. The bottom line is that if you are not an early bird, you may want to consider becoming one during the winter months. This can fend off the "winter blues".

Warmest wishes!

A New Year Brings a New Blog!!

2008-01-21T13:07:00.000-08:00

Many people make New Year’s resolutions every January 1st. I have to admit that I am one of those people. You, dear reader, are at this very moment reading my first New Year’s resolution. This fantastic new blog called Optimize Your Self-Image.

Some subscribers know who I am, and my passion for maintaining an enlightened self-image. However, for those of you who do not know me, I would like to introduce myself; my name is Shannon Tancock and I am a self-image/self-esteem life coach. I was specially selected to train with the extremely gifted and talented Martha Beck (columnist for O Magazine and author of Finding Your Own North Star and The Joy Diet). My life coaching journey has led me to focus on a niche that is near and dear to my heart, self-esteem and self-image for women and girls.

I do believe that every woman and girl deserves to feel happy and beautiful, inside and out. I also believe that a key factor to obtaining happiness and beauty is to have an enlightened self-image and higher self-esteem. As a self-image life coach, “I have been there and done that.”

Growing up, I had low self-esteem. I watched, from a darkened corner, all the other girls in my high school try-out for the cheer leading squad, all the while thinking to myself that I was not good enough to try out. No one had actually told me that, just this little negative voice inside my head said "who are you kidding, you are not good enough". I also felt I had failed as a student, and as a daughter for that matter, when I received any grade below an “A”. This led to a very unfulfilled life and low self-worth. I can honestly say that I have coached myself (along with the help of my own life coach) to a healthy self-image and fabulous lifestyle.

As a survivor of low self-esteem and low self-image, I want other women and girls out there to know that they too can overcome these self-rejecting beliefs and live an enlightened and fulfilling lifestyle.

With this blog I intend on sharing helpful tips and other resourceful information that not only helped me to obtain a higher self-image, but also helped others who struggled with low self-esteem. My hope is that you will find the information contained in this blog helpful and inspiring.

The first tip I would like to share is my "cup o' steem" moment. What I do is sit with my cup of coffee, or tea, or whatever my poison is for that morning, and I close my eyes for just a minute or two and repeat to myself, "I am a natural born winner: always was and always will be." After about two months, I noticed myself feeling a change occur and then I noticed that I really began to believe what I was saying to myself. Initially when I started out doing this little morning routine, my reaction to that statement was "Are you kidding.....you can be a loser". However I can honestly say that over time, I noticed my reaction changed and now I can honestly say my reaction is "OH YES I AM A WINNER!"

Please try this tip out daily, and I believe you will feel and see your self-image change deep inside you.

Cheers and enjoy!