Being Authentic and Not Everyone Else’s Puppet. *

Recently, I have had a couple people mention something they are struggling with, and so I thought I would share their struggle, and my coaching tip, with all of you.

This struggle that two acquaintances shared with me had to do with being authentic toward themselves and others. They simple said that they often say “yes” to other people, when they really want to say “no”. But they fear that saying “no” will lead to hurt feelings and even long-term rejection. I bet most of you can relate to their struggle. How many times have you thought, “oh man, I really don’t want to go but I said yes”? Too many times? Well, I have a couple points to bring to your attention that may help you to try to stay true to your deep desire, and live a more peaceful life.

The first point has to do with self-regret. When you say “yes” to something that you really want to say “no” too, then you put yourself in a position where you may have much self-regret. Self-regret is more difficult to overcome emotionally then regret for another person. If that someone who you are saying “no” to is a true friend, or close relative, then they will accept your answer….*

The second point I want to make you aware of is about the power you are giving up. If you say “yes” to someone and “no” to yourself, then you are giving someone else total power over your decisions and outcome. This leaves you in a position where you could lose out two-fold. For one, if you end up not having a good time, then a part of you may be upset with the person who asked you to participate. Second, another part of you may be upset at yourself for having caved in and agreed to something you originally didn’t want to do. An internal “I told you so” scenario, which is very uncomfortable and down-right frustrating. However, if you do what is true to you (e.g. say “no” when you want to), then you can only lose one-fold (wait…is that even a word?...oh well you know what I mean)….*

So, the next time you are faced with a question or decision that has you saying “yes”, when you really want to say “no”, please recall these two points and consider being true to you. Your life will become more fulfilling and peaceful.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Memorial Day’s Red Poppies and realizing your inner-peace. *

This weekend represents a very historic time for hundreds of thousands of service men and women. From those who served time, to all their loved ones who eagerly hoped and waited for their safe return home.

Another inspiration that many are unaware of is the Red Poppy. A woman named Moina Michael started a tradition where she wore red poppies to honor those who died serving our nation during the war (Source: http://www.usmemorialday.org/
/backgrnd.html). Ms. Michael sold poppies to many of her friends and family, and in turn gave that money to benefit service men and women in need….*

For me, red poppies are now a sign of peace. The land that they now occupy, is ironically some of the same land that once was witness to some of our deadliest wars. The beauty of seeing hundreds of red petals blowing in a light breeze and sending out their delicate and delightful scent, brings a sense of peace….*

I would like for all of you to go to a local florist, landscape store, or even an online store, and buy yourself some red poppies. Then every day, as you admire and care for your new floral friends, realize and sense the peace that they bring to you and your environment. Lean in and slowly smell their gifted scent; that which goes directly to your brain’s internal pleasure-boat. For you, at that moment, there will be inner-peace. Feel free to do this several times a day to help bring more peace to your busy lifestyle.

I will leave you with a short poem that Ms. Michael wrote:

We cherish too, the Poppy redThat grows on fields where valor led,It seems to signal to the skiesThat blood of heroes never dies.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Confidence...The Very Thing Self-Trust Is Made Of. *

Well folks, I found that in the past couple of weeks, a common theme kept popping up on my radar that inspired me to write an article about it. The topic of Confidence.

I have seen may definitions of confidence, from “feeling assurance”, to “having faith in a person.” However, one recent definition I never heard before really struck me and became branded in my mind. That definition was, “having trust in one’s abilities”.

Now, I ask you to think about that for a moment. When I heard that definition, I realized that many people I know may have much less confidence then they are aware of. Do you trust your abilities? Are there things about you that you don’t trust? Some people don’t trust such things as their ability to remember, while others don’t trust their actions or reactions in certain situations….*

I recently was with someone who almost didn’t go to a fun event because they did not trust their own abilities in making a responsible decision. I knew that this person believed that there was a side of them they didn’t trust. I asked him when was the last time he tried to trust himself in this situation, and he said weeks. So I mentioned to him that he could focus on breaking up the event into small and simple steps.

The first step was to trust himself and his abilities. To sit with that trust within for a moment. Then the second step was to travel to the event. I asked him to take a moment to check himself for self-trust, after the second step. If he felt a strong sense of mistrust, then he could leave. But if he felt he still trusted himself, then he could continue to the third step, which was to sit down and greet friends at the event. After every step, I asked him to internally check himself. This seemed to help him tremendously with his ability to be more aware of his actions and gain some self-trust. He felt much more in control of his abilities and enjoyed himself at the event….*

So if there is an area in your life that you feel low confidence, or self-trust in your abilities, then try breaking down the situation in small steps and checking in periodically for self-trust. Over time you will begin to trust yourself again and build your confidence.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Easter Time and Finding Your Inner Hidden Easter Eggs*

How about that….for many, it is Easter today. Some people will be visiting family, coloring hard-boiled eggs with bright and vibrant colors, and receiving a beautiful basket filled with candy, jelly beans, and of course a big old chocolate bunny. Many kids, young and old, will be hiding Easter eggs and searching for them. I remember as a young girl looking for Easter eggs at my grandmother’s house. I felt so excited when I saw a hint of a bright yellow, or vibrant blue egg, nestled in the grass or a couch cushion. Some of the eggs were hard and delicious to eat. While others were made of plastic and when popped open, revealed a yummy treat.

As a coach, I realized that finding bright Easter eggs filled with surprises was much like finding a new passion. Coming across a new idea or thought that seemed exciting and fun, made me feel all giddy inside, much like when I opened a plastic Easter egg. And some of those ideas and thoughts have blossomed into new, wonderful, and even life- long hobbies and passions….*

In the spirit of Easter today, I would like to ask all of you to take a moment to search for some new hidden passions to explore and invite into your life. Take some small pieces of paper and write down a couple (preferably more) ideas or passions you have thought up, or come across. Write each down on a small sheet and fold them up. Place each in a colorful plastic Easter egg. Have someone hide them for you, or if you live alone, place them in creative locations you will come across them. The following day, look for and find the eggs. Open each and see what idea or passion you reveal.

Next, take one small step to reaching, or researching that idea. Pay close attention to your body’s response to this step. In most cases, you will experience some excitement and that will lead to another step. Now, some people may find that their body is not enthusiastically responding to the idea or passion. In those cases, the road to that idea or passion may be done, and the next idea or passion can be pursued….*

However, in most cases, these little and fun steps can lead to a new life-long and fulfilling hobby or passion.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

”Been There, Done That, Yah Hoo”…the Importance of Accomplishment. *

This is it people….this newsletter is about to start in motion a journey for you that may delight you, encourage you, or scare you to death…..or at least make you pee in your pants. I am going to ask you to get up, get out there, and accomplish an old raggedy and dusted goal you have put off for years.

Come on, you can do it. We all have heard that old cliche, “There is no time like the present”. Don’t wait for one of those moments where you hear the passing of a loved one, or a devastating illness to remind you of the importance of the present moment and accomplishing your goals and dreams. The reality of life is that none of us know when or where we will move on to another way of living. For example, recently I accomplished a goal and dream that I had set years ago. When I was a little girl and watched my first Oscar award show, I had dreamt of being an actress. Yet years would pass, and a mountain of dust would accumulate, before I would actually take action.

So this year I decided to go for it. As a life coach, I have the mentality of “living it to give it”. I heard from a friend that I could sign up for a local acting workshop with an experienced actress. The workshop met once a week and ran for four fun weeks. You didn’t need experience, which worked particularly well for me since I had absolutely no experience at all. The only experience I had was the occasional daydream of starring in a role opposite an admired actor I cherished….or one I just thought was really hot….*

I eagerly signed up, got butterflies in my tummy and waited for the first class to start. To make a great story short….I LOVED IT. During one of the classes, our teacher said “all of you actors will experience….”. OK…at that moment I was actually called an actor. I looked around to see who she was referring too and realized that she meant all of us, including me. I also realized then that I didn’t need to have a starring role in an Oscar nominated movie, or be a regular in some sitcom, to be considered an actor. What a cool realization!!

I also experienced a sense of accomplishment. Some of the other students had not completed the class, but a handful of us had….*

I would like to ask each of you to think of an old dream or goal you had years ago as a child, that you didn’t act on. Then take a simple step, or two, and accomplish that goal. You can do it…finish it and enjoy that sense of accomplishment that results.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

"Spring" into Spring with a Vision Board*

Finally it is that wonderful time of year that, for many of us, several things begin to blossom and grow. Eager buds start to form on robust tree branches, flowers begin to flourish, geese begin to head back north, and countless winter blue moods start to dissolve with warm smiles. Many people are finally able to step outside and take in a breath of fresh air without risking hypothermia. Ah yes….Spring is in the air.

This is also an excellent time of year to create an exciting Vision Board, inviting in your ultimate dreams and desires. However, BEWARE! When you do create a vision board, please realize that whatever you place on your board will in fact come true for you….*

Vision Boards have been around for years, and the concept was popularized when a book called, The Secret, was published. Vision Boards are very simple, yet extremely powerful. Now, normally I usually explain to all of you my experiences with certain challenges and then I share how I was able to deal with them. However, in this case, I have not yet done a vision board, so I will be creating one at the very same time as all of you…..in the next couple of weeks.…*

The most popular and easy way to create a vision board is to do the following steps:
1) Get a poster board (or a piece of construction paper to go on your fridge).
2) Get a few magazines (walk through a bookstore or pharmacy and see which magazines you are drawn to most-see if you are drawn to different types).
3) Get glue (or tape if you prefer).
4) Sit for a moment and clear your mind so that your dreams and desires can surface.
5) Go through the magazines and cut out pictures and phrases that just feel wonderful and right to you. It can be something you love or wish for.
6) Glue each picture/phrase onto your board and put it up in a place you will see often.
Please feel free to also list or write anything you want on your board. That’s it.

So, let’s do this together! Please take the next couple of weeks and create your vision board, as will I. Then, get this, I plan to write an updated article in the next couple of months to share how my life has been going in relation to my vision board. I would also LOVE for any of you to share any experiences or stories you have happen as a result of your vision board. Just shoot me an email as I would love to hear from you.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.

Dance Your Way to a Happier Mood*

That is right folks, you can now dance your way to a happier mood. Shocker? Maybe for some of you, but others may not be as surprised. I will admit that up until a couple months ago, I had not danced in years, except for the occasional wedding reception, when a relative or friend of mine walked down the aisle and changed their name. And every time I was dancing, I always wondered why I had waited so long to do so.

When is the last time you took time to dance? And I don’t mean taking a dance class or even dancing at a wedding. While those occasions are fantastic opportunities, they also happen probably much less frequent then a solar eclipse. I am talking about just dancing alone at home. When is the last time you just put on a song and just let your body go? The last time you felt the music and just wiggled and jiggled, or waltzed across the room with that imaginary attractive partner? ….*

If you have not done this in days, months, or even years, please take the time in the next few days to do so. Find a song you love and just feel the music and let your body go. Even if you don’t hear or sense the rhythm of the song, you can still just let your body guide you by trusting it completely. Dancing is a form of exercise and the super duper thing about that is the release of endorphins. Endorphins are released in the brain and cause a reduction in pain and an increase in euphoria. And who couldn’t use some endorphins at this time of year, when many are dealing with winter blues….*

Now, if you are in need of a song, or would like to learn some dance steps, then I encourage you to venture to You Tube. There you can find a plethora of songs and dance moves that will help you to get into the groove and improve your mood. And heck, for those of you who would like to shed a pound, or two, or thirty, you may do just that in the process.

So I challenge each of you to find a couple minutes tomorrow and get up and dance to a favorite tune. Your body will be grateful that you allowed it to express itself, and in return will release those handy dandy endorphins that will brighten your day.

* Please note, these are highlights from an entire article in Higher-Self Living Paychecks. For more information, please visit our website at www.higherselflifecoaching.com.